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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28344186">best shades of my life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/twentyonempanadas/pseuds/Devan%20Starlet'>Devan Starlet (twentyonempanadas)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alex Mercer Has Anxiety (Julie and the Phantoms), Alive Alex Mercer &amp; Luke Patterson &amp; Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bobby is Not Trevor Wilson, But I Won't Tell You Which One, Comfort, Don't Judge Me, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, Gen, High School, Homophobia, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Mentions of Cancer, Music, No beta we die like Sunset Curve, Not Canon Compliant, Slow Burn, Songfic, They all need a hug, i write so slow omg, mentions of grief, midnight madness supremacy, my boys are alive obviously, sorry - Freeform, what's a tag</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:01:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>48,256</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28344186</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/twentyonempanadas/pseuds/Devan%20Starlet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been two years since Julie's mom passed and she wants to move on, but it's easier said than done. Things seem far from going back to normal, until she meets Sunset Curve. She'll then realize normalcy is overrated, specially with a missing soulmate and three new friends that turn her life upside down. </p><p> </p><p>Or: The boys are alive because I say so. They're all 17 and juniors in high school. They're all idiots, but we love idiots, don't we? Julie is the powerhouse of the cell.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>135</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Back to the beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Heyo! It's Devan. This is my first multichapter fanfic, and it's a bit unedited lolT. his is a bit of what has happened in Julie in the past couple of months, and yeah I know, my summary sucks haha. I really hope you enjoy my story!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes it's easy to imagine life as writing a song because it's never done by itself. You write your own destiny, right? Your life is yours and yours only to command, you create the rules and if you follow the right path, everything will go your way. Stars will align as you find the way to your dreams and the universe will never conspire against you unless it's meant to be in your favor. Yeah, that's some serious bullshit right there. Let me start again. </p><p>Sometimes life is like writing a song, which means it could be a huge pain in the ass. Sometimes you have a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad couple of years if you're an unlucky bastard like me. Writing songs means you sometimes wake up inspired enough to write two albums 16 songs each, but it also means you often wake up feeling like someone punched you in the face one hundred and fifty-seven times, no in-between, and lately, I've been waking up feeling the latter, and when I say lately I mean almost for the past two years. Things were really hard at home during the first months. Carlos seemed to have left his sense of humor somewhere not to be found again, and Dad became even more oblivious than he already was, if that's even possible, unconsciously making me step full charge into the house responsibilities by taking care of the 3 of us. Thankfully, tía Victoria was there with us every step of the way, assuming the mother's vacant role I had clumsily tried to fill even though no one told her she had to, even though she was grieving as much as we were. Soon enough, everyone was back on their feet, doing significantly better, slowly improving their moods and going back to their normal selves. Everyone except me. </p><p>Everyone seemed to be doing just fine, except for me. Even after long sessions with doctors attempting to bring some normality into my life, I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that the one person I cared for and loved the most in the world was gone forever. Even putting things into words makes me sound so detached, numb, insensitive from reality, from thinking this is happening to me. I spent every single night for a year looking at my room's ceiling, looking at my 200 glow in the dark stars, just asking myself why, why me, but especially about the what-ifs. I can never talk about those, they're just too much to fathom, even for me. Hours just started going slower, turning days into weeks, and months into eternal years of suffering and heart-wrenching pain. </p><p>Even the 8 hours of school turned into something impossible to bear, constantly trying to put my energy into studying when I truly had none left. Drained would be the most fitting word for my situation, and no one would get it. "You're 15, sweety, you'll be soon focusing on boys and you'll find something to do with your time." My time, huh, the time ruling the rest of the world had stopped being a concern the moment my mom- The moment she left. The moment she grabbed that piece of my heart's engine and threw it away from me, into the deepest ocean. The moment she took my passion for music away from me. Anger isn't exactly the word I would use to describe what I feel, but it is the first that comes to mind. I guess one could say I hit rock bottom and actually lost my head when I quitted the music program in school. I decided to grieve in one of the weirdest ways I could think of, one that would honor my mom the only way she deserved: to cast music out of my life for good because it didn't make sense now that she was gone. My dad tried to convince me in every possible way to reintegrate, but it was beyond me, and there was no turning back. </p><p>Yeah, 2021's definitely not gonna be my year.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Never look back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Julie sort of meets the boys?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Technically the first chapter? ANywAy a lil warning, the first chapters will be sort of boring because I have to explain things and explaining can get boring sometimes, so bare with me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>E E F G G F E D C C D E E D D<br/>
E E F G G F E D C C D E D C C</p><p>Frustration rose through her body as her hands froze against the piano. The notes were inside her head, just a simple melody, the most simple song her head could come up with: the infamous Ode of Joy, Beethoven's 9th Symphony, 4th movement. The first song her mom had taught her on the piano because it was the easiest way to teach her and right now she <em>just</em> couldn't seem to place the fingers in the keys. How could it be so freaking difficult? Anxiousness quickly took over the room as she stood from the little wooden chair in front of the piano, with the R.P written in it with what seemed liquid paper. A bass, an electric and acoustic guitar, and a set of drums stood beside it. She tried once more time, standing up, in hopes of getting her "artistic" side to start fucking working, or at least getting its shit together. Once again, her fingers dumbly placed themselves on the right keys, but when the time to actually produce music came, no coherent sound followed from it. </p><p>She had been sneaking into the basement for a couple of weeks now, having found the instruments by pure accident, or at least that's what she kept telling herself to not feel shitty about it. Julie tried many times to play her mom's piano at home but gathering the courage to do it had been harder than any other task. Her presence, even after two years, was still too strong for her to handle. Playing someone else's piano was easy, and not emotionally pressuring at all. Ready to give up, she picked up her back as a small click sound was heard, someone was trying to open the door with a key, and she knew that was her cue to leave before getting busted. Almost tripping on herself, she made her way into the secondary door and left without looking back while she picked up her phone and realized she should've been home 15 minutes ago, along with 3 missed calls from her dad. She dialed back as soon as her breathing was back to normal and she was far enough from the basement.</p><p><br/>
"Heeey, I was talking to a teacher, I'm on my way to pick up Carlos" she hurried up before he started ranting, a new custom he had picked up over the years.</p><p><br/>
"Ok, mija. Just let me know next time, he's waiting for you" after this, he hung up and she walked as fast as she could.</p><p>On the other side of the wall, the room brightened up entirely as the three boys came in cracking jokes and bumping into each other. Reggie looked at his old electric piano and cursed mentally as he realized the cover had been removed again.</p><p>"Dude if we tell the school to keep our instruments safe, aren't they supposed to, y'know, actually do it?" He commented, visibly annoyed as he put the cover back.</p><p>"Reg, isn't it like the 4th time it happens this month? Why don't you tell Mrs. Harrison?" Luke sat in front of the boys and started tuning up his guitar, making visual contact with Reggie. The old dusty basement wasn't exactly the best or the biggest place to rehearse, but there was enough room for everything and it was far from everyone, so they could be as loud as possible.</p><p>"I mean it's not like they're gonna steal it, y'know? They would've done it since day 1, but can't they at least put the cover back? There's a lot of dust in this place, it gets between the tiles" he motioned the piano as he brushed his fingers against it.</p><p>"This is all we'll get" added Alex to the conversation, sitting in front of his drums. "You should be grateful we don't have to pay a fee or something for them to keep our instruments here"</p><p>Reggie tuned up his bass as well and proceeded to connect it to the amplifier "I knooow, I just wish they put the cover back on" a loud huff escaped from his mouth as they settled everything.</p><p>The boys laughed at the situation and joked around for a little, forgetting about the problems that were haunting them for a couple of hours, before getting lost in their music and eventually losing track of time, as they usually did when they were together. They were kicked out by the school janitor a bit after 19:00, indicating they should've been home a long time ago. They hurried through the dark school hallways and went out to pick up their bikes. They were having a "sleepover week", meaning they were spending their week at one of the boy's houses and Reggie was the host this time. With his parents' fights getting more intense every day, his friends knew the Peters needed an excuse to keep their differences at bay, even if it was just for a couple of days. The boys got home around 45 minutes later and ordered Chinese before locking themselves up in Reggie's big bedroom. For the rest of the night, all they could think about was the identity of the "phantom" (as they decided to call it) that kept using Reggie's piano without permission, wondering if they'd ever meet them.</p><p>"I wonder if they're actually poor" whispered Reggie looking at the ceiling from the air mattress. </p><p>"Reg what the hell" a burst of loud laughter came out of Luke's mouth, always surprised but never disappointed at the comments his friend always kept under his sleeve. He would never admit it out loud, but he had always thought of Reggie as a person with extreme and incomprehensible intelligence. </p><p>"I mean" Reggie sat down, looking for his friends' gaze in the darkness "think about it, why else would they sneak into an old basement to play piano whose owner they don't even know" he stared at the closet door in front of him, thinking of the million scenarios his head was coming up with. </p><p>"Reggie I don't know if it's because I'm sleepy but I think you're onto something" Alex yawned loudly as he moved around the bed, trying to find a comfortable position. He was always the first to contradict Reggie or pull him back down to Earth, but he was right. Sleepiness wasn't helping.</p><p>"I think you're just sleepy", said Luke, with a naughty grin only Reggie could catch.</p><p>Reggie found himself laying down again and putting his arms behind his head, not really ready to fall asleep. A couple of minutes later, Alex's muffled breath against the pillow enveloped the quiet room, as Luke tried to get a melody out of his head. However, he decided to make one last comment.</p><p>"What if you do know them, Reg?" </p><p>"I don't know, man. Maybe I do." He took a deep breath "I just really hope I meet them, I wanna know what their deal is" commented the boy in a soft voice, careful to not wake Alex up. Luke, from the air mattress next to his, could only look at his friend and nod, not really trying to come up with an answer. Even he was curious about this person, but he wasn't sure he shared Reggie's excitement about it, he was actually ready to tell them off. Good thing they didn't have to wait long.</p><p>(...)</p><p>The last bell of the day rang indicating classes were over, and Julie knew exactly where she was heading. She took out her phone and saw the time: 2.57pm. She unlocked it and found her dad's chat, ready to text him.</p><p>
  <strong>Julie:</strong><br/>
<em>I'll be home around 4pm, don't wait up.</em>
</p><p>She sent it quickly, feeling the adrenaline rushing on the tip of her fingers as she placed her phone in the back pocket of her jeans, and headed to the old basement where the piano awaited her. She hadn't been down there for a couple of weeks now, and she could only feel the attachment to it growing slowly as the days went by. She felt a weird feeling lingering in the air around her, a feeling similar to anticipation, but not quite there, yet. Adrenaline reached a peak when Julie made her way downstairs and found the basement's door. Her hand went to the little pocket on her backpack and she took out the bobby pin she had been using for over a month, handling it like a pro and opening the door with no delay. She smiled at herself feeling both proud and guilty at her new ability but went in anyway looking for the piano. After a couple of minutes scanning the room, she realized the piano wasn't there, making her skin blush with anger and embarrassment. Frustration had become a longtime companion for her, so she allowed herself to get surrounded by it as she walked around the small room, wondering what to do. She knew it was a bad idea from the very beginning, and she had been very careless about it, she should've guessed the consequences of her actions. </p><p>Soon, she found herself sitting down between some tall bookshelf and the secondary door she would use to escape, wondering if she should just wait till her clock announced 3:45pm, so she could walk home. The hotness of the room encouraged her to take off her hoodie and use it as a pillow against the hard surface of the furniture she was leaning on. As she tried to think about homework and walking home, the exhaustion from not sleeping the night before caught up on her. Next thing she knew, she was dreaming of unicorns, glitter, and big glasses full of chocolate ice cream, completely unaware of the 3 boys already on their way to the room, and all that was left to warn her was the so familiar click of the door. It swung open, waking Julie up almost immediately and making her realize she has completely fucked up. Soon enough, the 4 people in the room found each other looking into their eyes for what felt ages, but not being able to recognize their faces, since the lights were off. Luke broke the silence first, being the last one entering the room.</p><p>"Hey! Who the fuck are you!?" Julie needed no more words. Before the boys could move any further, she picked up her bag, her hoodie and got on her feet to start running. All boys were now ready to go after her but only Luke was able to keep up. He followed her upstairs and was able to grab her wrist for a couple of seconds, but Julie was definitely faster than the boy, given her experience on running away from people, and freed her from his grip. Before he could even try again, the girl was already gone and out of reach, leaving behind only the image of braided hair and the hoodie on the flo- Hoodie? She left her hoodie! Luke grabbed it with a wide smile and went back to the room with the boys. </p><p>"I swear I had never seen you running so fast" Reggie flooded the room with laughter and approached Luke to clap his back.</p><p>"Reg, haven't you seen him running to open the door when we order pizza?" Luke went up to Alex and snapped him in the head for the comment, not that it wasn't true. He pointed at the object in his hand. "What's that?"</p><p>"A hoodie, she dropped it" he opened it from the little ball he had formed to see a black plain hoodie, with only a small white stripe across the chest. Reggie immediately recognized the old hoodie, but if he showed any signs of surprise, his bandmates didn't catch it. He was the owner, but he knew damn well who had stolen it from him all those years ago. </p><p>"At least you tried, Luke." Reggie sighed quite intrigued by the girl's actions, but again, kept his thoughts to himself. He'd figure everything out later. </p><p>"Did you get to see her face?" Alex had already placed himself in front of his drums, probably ready to leave behind the subject and start with the rehearsal.</p><p>"Not really, but I'm pretty I'll recognize her if I see her tomorrow" he grabbed his guitar and started playing with some chords. </p><p>"You'd obviously recognize her", Reggie thought. "Julie Molina isn't the kind of person you simply forget about the next day." </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading! Let me know if you liked it and please tell me if I made any mistakes uwu. Merry Christmas everyone!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I'm calling out for one more try</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Julie finally meets Sunset Curve!!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Omg surprise! Happy New Year! I really hope you enjoy the new chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His fingers ran nervously across the phone screen, as he attempted to find the right words to start a conversation. What could he even say? "Hey, thanks for giving me back my sweater!!", hell no that was lame. "I almost didn't recognize you!!" Nono, what if she gets offended? Reggie wasn't one to filter his words when he wasn't around his parents. He would spend half of his life completely silent, but when Luke and Alex were around, he would pretty much say freely whatever was running through his mind even if sometimes it backfired, but this was Julie, and he actually wanted to be sensible. </p><p> </p><p>Being friends with Julie Molina was one of the most incredible experiences of his life, so incredible he often found himself reminiscing about their countless afternoons together, but it had all ended after Mrs. Molina's death. He wanted to be mad at Julie for walking out of everyone's lives, he really wanted to, but he didn't know how it felt to lose a loving and caring parent. He didn't know what were the horrors she had probably gone through, so he respected every single one of her choices, but it had been almost two years and he really missed her. "Fuck it", he thought. "I'll just go for it".</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Reggie to Jules:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>I didn't know you liked dramatic exits.</em>
</p><p>As soon as he pressed the button, he felt instant regret. As far as he knew, Julie was a completely different person! What if her humor had changed? What if she didn't like joking around anymore? Oh my God, what if she didn't like John Mulaney anymore-<br/>His phone vibrated in his hand, indicating he had received a message. He opened his eyes slowly, realizing he had even closed them in the first place, to find Julie's text shining on his screen. Reggie smiled softly, she was still a fast replier. They were both the kind of people who just couldn't wait to reply to someone's messages. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Julie to Regs: </strong>
  <br/>
  <em>I haven't lost my dramatic touch if that's what you thought. </em>
</p><p>It was a bit sharp, but it was her. Reggie kept smiling.</p><p> </p><p><strong>Reggie to Julie: </strong><br/><em>Well, my friend told me you left him a little souvenir if you know what I mean</em>👉👈.</p><p> </p><p><strong>Julie to Regs: </strong><br/><em>I'm gonna miss that hoodie</em>😔✊ .</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Reggie: </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Omg I'm not gonna keep it, you can fetch it tomorrow after class, you already know the way</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Julie: </strong>
  <br/>
  <em>You don't mind?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Reggie: </strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Didn't you see me today? I kinda go with a different style now</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Julie: </strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Nope, I was too busy running away from your hitman. </em>
</p><p>Reggie tried to laugh as quietly as possible, Alex and Luke were already asleep.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Reggie: </strong>
  <br/>
  <em>That would've been me but I was too busy asking myself why you never pUT THR COVER BACK ON</em>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>Julie: </strong><br/>💀💀<em>I forget all the time I'm sorry</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Reggie: </strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Next time I'll chase you down myself.</em>
</p><p>After 7 minutes of silence, Reggie considered the conversation dead, but he was so excited. Life went back to normal for a second, and he felt exactly two years younger. There were butterflies flying all around his chest, and he couldn't help but think this may actually be the start of getting her back into his life. He was not gonna let her walk away again, and he was willing to fight this time.</p><p> </p><p>(...)</p><p> </p><p>If yesterday Julie had barely slept, then it was safe to say she didn't sleep at all last night. What was she thinking!?? Texting Reggie with that much confidence, after basically ignoring him for months? And then agreeing to meet him after using his piano without permission? She was definitely out of her damn mind. He had been so nice to her, he had always been nice to everyone, sometimes nicer than people actually deserved, and she felt like she didn't deserve any part of his kindness this time.</p><p> </p><p>She really wanted to stand him up, tell him something came up and that she couldn't meet him. She wanted to run away again, hide underneath her bed and wait until the planet stopped spinning, but she couldn't do that to Reggie, not after all the things she had already done. Feeling guilty for using his piano was one thing, but having around 20 months of accumulated remorse was a different story. So the next day she gathered up all the courage she had left, along with a huge knot in her stomach, and when the clock marked 3:30pm, she went down to the basement to face her old best friend. She opened the already familiar door, and for the first time ever, she saw what the room looked like with the lights on, since she always had them off whenever she was there trying to play. The room was also uncharacteristically charged with what could only be described as "good vibes" and peace, and she couldn't help but smile. The boys were joking around and having fun, completely unaware of Julie's presence, and were already starting to pick up their instruments when the young lady with a cap covering her face and a black hoodie (yes, she had more), cleared her throat. </p><p> </p><p>"Hey, guys" were the only words that came out of her mouth after a couple of seconds, so low and unsure she could've sworn they hadn't heard. Next time, she tried louder "I just wanted to come by and apologize for the piano thing, I should've asked first" The boys just stared at each other in shock, not actually expecting the person to actually come back and say sorry in person. Even though Reggie knew what was happening, he couldn't find something to say, and before he could formulate a sentence, Luke stepped up.</p><p>"It's fine, as long as you stop doing it" he cautioned with annoyance. The boy had a scandalous mustard yellow beanie along with a blue jacket whose sleeves had been removed, and she immediately recognized him as the guy who chased her down the day before.</p><p>"I promise I will" she looked at her feet shyly erasing her smile, not being able to make eye contact with any of the guys.</p><p>"We also have your sweater, you um" Luke finally came from behind Reggie and handed the hoodie to her "left it behind yesterday" <br/>She took it feeling a bit uncomfortable but also confused at the fact that they didn't seem to know the hoodie belonged to Reggie, "Maybe he didn't tell them", she thought, she didn't know what else to say.</p><p>"I guess I'll go now, thanks and sorry again" she muttered and turned away quickly, ready to leave the room behind, along with the embarrassment in her body, but a voice she hadn't heard made her stop halfway through. It was Alex's.</p><p>"Why did you do it, tho?" His curiosity was genuine, and Julie could feel it in his voice. The least she owned them was an explanation, right? She really wasn't thinking she was gonna leave without having to answer some questions. The problem? She didn't know what the fuck to say, but she took a deep breath and tried to remain as calm as possible.</p><p>"It's been a while since the last time I played, and when I found this room it was always empty so I thought the instruments were abandoned. Then I heard you once a couple of weeks ago and managed to come here only when you weren't around" admitting these things aloud was actually weirder than she thought it would be, and she found herself looking at her feet again. Julie simply couldn't stop thinking about what the guys were gonna do. Call the music teacher? The program director? The school principal? What if they suspended h-</p><p>"Maybe I can help you practice" Reggie's voice took her out of her trance, making her look at the boys in front of her. </p><p>"Bold of you to assume I'll come back now that I've been busted" her comment, announced a bit more confident, actually made the boys laugh a bit, boosting her confidence even more.</p><p>"Well, we'll be here, of course, no more sneaking!" Reggie had always had the ability to make her feel comfortable in any situation, and he was doing a great job this time because she was smiling already.</p><p>"It's alright, you don't have to" Julie was done with his generosity and she truly felt like she didn't deserve any of it.</p><p>"I mean if it prevents you from touching our stuff without our permission, I'm fine with it" Luke was clearly upset about the whole situation. What was Reggie thinking? Inviting the girl who had used his piano without permission to give her free lessons? He wasn't having any of it. Even though Reggie and Alex were being pretty chill about everything, Luke was definitely making Julie feel worse, but she knew where he was coming from and she didn't protest. </p><p>"Yeah, I'm sorry, I'll just leave" the words blurted out and before any of them could say something, she was gone. Apparently, she was an expert doing that. </p><p>"Dude, did you really have to be that rude?" Alex confronted Luke without hesitation. Luke simply rolled his eyes and grabbed his guitar. </p><p>"I'm not exactly comfortable with the idea of helping the girl who's been using our stuff! And what the fuck, Reggie? Where did all of that generosity come from?" Luke Patterson was known as a very "volatile" person. He was more of a do-er, instead of a thinker. Planning shit through wasn't exactly in his modus operandi, never worrying about the consequences of his words or actions.</p><p>"You really don't know who that was, do you?" Reggie remained calm, but it was evident he was upset, and both guys realized as soon as he spoke. Silence dominated the room, so Reggie continued. "That was Julie Molina"</p><p>"Get out, man" Luke let down his guitar in disbelief and walked around the room, as Alex let down his drumsticks and sat down to process the information.</p><p>Julie Molina's name was nothing but whispers in the hallways, Los Feliz high school own urban legend. A talented singer with a promising future who had mysteriously vanished from the music program over summer vacations, and now wandered somewhere around Earth... Except she never left town, or transferred schools. She had changed so much over the course of that pivotal summer, that when she finally returned to school, nobody recognized her. But once they did, though, the gossiping, the shushed comments, everything, didn't seem to have an end. Julie was aware of this, but decided to ignore every piece of it, knowing it would bring absolutely nothing to her life, and decided to never address it. </p><p>"I can't believe it" Alex sighed heavily, placing his fingers at the bridge of his nose. "There's no way, Reg"</p><p>"Are you sure it's not someone else?" Luke spoke again after seconds of meditating. The three boys were now sitting down.</p><p>"Trust me, man. I'm positive" Reggie was now staring at the floor, lost in his own thoughts.</p><p>"I thought she had left the school" Alex tried to find Reggie's gaze but he wasn't there with them. His mind had seemed to take him outside of that room. </p><p>"What happened to her, didn't she disappear from town?" Luke's memory had begun to work, and he couldn't help but think of something tragic surrounding the story, he just couldn't pinpoint what it was.</p><p>"She did leave the program, but she never moved away" Alex and Luke found each other's gaze and sighed heavily again, somehow managing to read the situation and reaching Reggie's side, who seemed touched by the memory. He wasn't sharing the whole story, but they knew he would when he was ready.</p><p>"Were you friends with her?" It was all Alex could formulate, after feeling the sudden change in the atmosphere of the room.</p><p>"We were best friends, we met at a summer camp." More silence. Reggie's answers were short and the other two boys could tell this was maybe more serious than they thought.</p><p>"Why didn't you introduce her?" Luke was now filled with interest, what was Julie Molina's story?</p><p>"It was many years ago, and we were doing our own things, way before joining the music program" Sunset Curve, he probably meant. When they came up with the idea of the band, they hardly had time for anything else. "After that camp Flynn, Carrie, Nick, Julie and I became very close"</p><p>"Well that's an interesting group of people" Luke tried to joke about it, but the moment wasn't appropriate enough for it. </p><p>"You liked her?" Alex was desperately trying to read the situation, but Reggie wasn't giving them enough information.</p><p>"No no, not at all, she was like a little sister to me" admitted Reggie, and he was being honest. "She was there for me whenever my parents fought, she always knew what to say" he shrugged, taking a deep breath. "Something happened to her and she lost herself, man. She pushed all of her friends away and she quit the music program" Telling them about Julie's mom was not his job. It wasn't his secret, so he decided to keep that part for himself.</p><p>"Is that why we never see her around?" Alex was trying to put all the pieces together, but he knew there was something missing. Something terrible had happened to that girl because she looked nothing like the girl they used to know.   </p><p>"Yeah, now she's just a stranger" Reggie was a very empathetic person, and the guys could tell he was really hurt by everything Julie had gone through, whatever it was.</p><p>"Man, now I really feel bad" Luke knew who Julie Molina was, everyone at school knew the former star of the music program and how she had banished one day without even saying au revoir. He never imagined he would end up insulting the girl he had dreamed of making duets with since he was in middle school, what a way to end a Tuesday. </p><p>"You should be, idiot." Alex stood up for the first time in minutes and hugged Reggie, even if he wasn't a huge fan of hugs. Luke just watched the scene, feeling like the biggest douchebag on the planet, wondering what he would do next to apologize, or at least make things right. Reggie finally walked away, mumbling something about getting water, and the boys understood there wasn't gonna be a rehearsal that day. Neither Alex nor Luke had a clue of what had been of Julie Molina's life, but they were both eager to know.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey! Thank you for making it this far, let me know if you found any mistakes!<br/>Do you like how the story is going or is it a complete mess?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Get up, get out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just a bit of angst and a bit of nice conversation for once?<br/>The boys are messy but they're so nice I swear.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>unedited as shit because that's me, welcome again</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days after their last encounter went by, and none of the boys had the guts to actually search for Julie and apologize, specifically Luke, who had been spending the last 48 hours regretting every single one of his words. Julie, on the other hand, was feeling a bit bad because of how the boys had treated, but she also felt it well deserved, since she had no intentions of stopping unless she got caught. And even though the boys (Luke) had left pretty clear she wasn't gonna be welcomed with open arms, she had felt warmth and kindness under all of that toughness, and she really wanted to go back, one day, when the incident was long forgotten. </p><p>Of course, life never goes the way you plan it.</p><p>Luke had repeated the words in his head overnight, he knew what he had to say, but the only thing he didn't think about was the fact he had no clue where Julie's classes were. At the beginning of the third period, right before the break, he walked the hallways of Los Feliz, searching for a girl with beautiful curly hair, eyes looking at the ground, and a huge cap covering her face. Needless to say, finding such a blue girl in such a colorful place was incredibly easy; the so characteristic dark palette of her clothing contrasted with the shiny red colors of the walls, making her look like a rarity among so much light. </p><p><br/>
She was in her locker taking some of her things out, and he stood right beside it, waiting for her to close it.</p><p>"Holy shit!" Julie whispered but somehow screamed at the same time, once she saw her new companion.</p><p>"Hey, I didn't mean to scare you" Luke tried his best to give her a bright smile of his, but she seemed immune to the contagion.</p><p>"You don't creep on people like that" he stared at her as the seconds started growing longer and longer, but he remembered he had a purpose, and focused on his well-rehearsed speech, which soon turned into something completely different.</p><p>"I know I know, I just wanted to come here and apologize for how I behaved the other day, I'm usually more chill about things, it was just a bad day" he tried to play it cool giving an excuse, even though he had promised himself he wasn't going to use any. </p><p>"It's alright, anyone can have a bad day. Now if you'll excuse me-" Julie was so concentrated on watching the floor and following her way to math class, that she had forgotten this was the boy that had chased her down the basement with remarkable determination. </p><p>"Nono, I'm not done with you" a cute chuckle escaped his mouth, after reaching out for her wrist, just like he did the day they met. "I wanted to make it up to you, so what do you say if I invite you to today's Sunset Curve rehearsal? We'll even let you play if you wanna"</p><p>"Wait, that's really the name of the band?" Luke nodded with excitement, and Julie couldn't help but smile at the boy's chaotic energy.</p><p>"We start at 4pm today, see you there?" He slowly let go of her wrist, almost like sealing a promise.</p><p>"I'll see what I can do, thanks..." she made a long pause, indicating she had no memories of his name, as she let go of his hand.</p><p>"Luke, Luke Patterson" Julie nodded in acknowledgment, maybe as a 'thank you' as well, and walked away without saying goodbye. Luke only looked at her for a couple of seconds, before the bell broke whatever spell she had laid on him and made him run across the school to get to his next class.</p><p>The rest of the day continued as usual, and when the last class was over, Julie found herself standing in front of the basement stairs, asking the big guy above her what the right call was. Her phone told her it was already 3:45pm, meaning she had been wandering around for a long time now, thinking of her next move. She had texted her dad earlier saying she might be late today, but she hadn't found the courage to actually go down, though it hadn't been long before Alex found her looking at the dark stairs in complete silence. </p><p>"Hey, are you lost?" the guy with the pink hoodie joked, with a sweet sided smile that Julie couldn't help to replicate.</p><p>"Yeah, the thief forgot the way to the bank" Julie took all the strength she had in her body to not slap herself for the stupid comment, so she just decided to slap herself mentally. To her surprise, Alex laughed vividly as he gestured the basement with his hand, silently inviting Julie to do what she had been trying to do during the last couple of minutes.</p><p>"Coming?" She realized straight away he was probably the most down-to-earth member of the band, because her memories of Reggie definitely didn't fall under that category, and Luke, well, she already had an idea of how the boy was like. In the blink of an eye, they were already inside the empty room, and she was taking a seat in front of Reggie's piano, which had been placed back to its usual spot.</p><p>"I'm Alex, by the way, Alex Mercer" he extended his hand and she gladly took it, along with a small but still bright smile on her face. It didn't happen often, but this time it felt appropriate, and the boy immediately proved her right by smiling back in the most beautiful way she had ever seen. </p><p>"Julie Molina" the boy shook her hand softly and then he walked towards his spot, in front of his drums, with a suspicious smile on his face, almost like he knew. "I wanted to apologize again, for the piano thing." she insisted, feeling the guilty rise through her veins as she placed her hands on Reggie's piano.</p><p>"Actually, <em>I</em> am sorry for not stopping Luke that day, he was being an ass, like usual" he sat right next to her, not really making eye contact. </p><p>"It's ok, I mean I'd be pretty upset too if I found a stranger playing my friend's instrument" </p><p>"Nah, he was being a drama queen" after that statement, Julie couldn't really find something else to say, and in normal circumstances, Alex would've just let the conversation slip through his fingers, but she actually seemed fun to talk to. "So, you wanna remember how to play?"</p><p>"I actually do remember, I just-" was she really about to confess her biggest secret to a total stranger? Maybe, but not today, though he did look like he was not gonna judge her, no matter what she said. "I haven't played for like 2 years and I've been trying, but motivation is a bitch." The last comment made them both look at each other and burst into laughter.</p><p>"I am fully aware, trust me" Alex was now facing Julie completely and Julie shifted towards him the moment she realized. Reggie was great at making her feel at home but this guy wasn't even trying. "So, you know our Reggie?"</p><p>Julie was taken aback by the question, not really expecting to be questioned about her ties to the bassist "Yeah, one could say we were friends back in the day" </p><p>"How come we don't see you around anymore?" Alex was caring and kind, and Julie could quickly tell he had realized she needed a bit of encouragement to start a conversation.</p><p>"I uh, I quit the music program back in 2019, so we probably have different schedules"</p><p>"Makes sense because I know most people at school" Julie raised her eyebrows in response, being a bit shocked at his reply since she didn't actually see the boy as a very social character. "Ah, it's because of Luke and Reggie, they talk to anyone they see and they just, I don't know, I guess they drag me along" they started laughing again, before the door opened and they stopped all of the sudden, to just find their gaze and laugh a bit more, welcoming the two missing boys. </p><p>"Well, you two are having fun" Reggie commented with pride, now that the best two parts of his life seemed to be uniting. Alex and Julie exchanged looks and smiled fondly at Reggie, and he knew everything was gonna be fine, even if she didn't stay in his life. </p><p>"I'm glad you could make it" Luke added from behind Reggie, surrounding his shoulders with his arm and also sharing a smile with the group. They soon grabbed their instruments and started warming up before starting with the rehearsal, and now there was no conversation in place, Julie didn't know what to do, or where to be, making her rethink for a couple of seconds her decision of joining the band that afternoon. </p><p>The time spent with the guys in the last couple of weeks didn't even sum up to 5 minutes, and she just expected to hang out with them like they had known each other their entire lives? Even though she was fighting herself internally, she couldn't help but feel at home.</p><p>"Hey so, I actually invited you for a reason" Luke interrupted everyone's thoughts as he dropped whatever song he was playing and directed his glance at their new companion. "You know a thing or two about music, right?" </p><p>"A little bit, yeah" Reggie knew Julie was being modest, he remembered her as one of the most talented musicians he had ever had the pleasure of meeting, but he bit back his tongue to not slip any comments that might've made Julie feel uncomfortable. </p><p>"We're preparing a song for our next gig, and there's something missing, maybe you can help us?" as he spoke, Luke searched for his backpack and took a small folder out of it, that seemed to be filled with tons of papers. He scanned it with agility and smiled once he found the one he was looking for, handing it to Julie. She looked at the piece of paper speechless, not really processing the fact that Luke was so confident about sharing his lyrics with people. "If only I could", Julie thought.</p><p>She grabbed the paper containing the lyrics delicately like it was the most fragile object on earth, and she started reading, feeling every chord and every word filling her body. She suddenly felt heavy, like she was glued to the chair and her own feet weighted her down. The room became bigger, their voices were distant and the only thing she could listen to was the music screaming from the paper she was holding, slowly swallowing her and turning everything black. </p><p>"Julie!" A voice suddenly pulled her out of the hole, making her raise her head from the lyrics to find 3 pairs of eyes looking at her curiously. "Luke was asking you if you wanted to hear us play, to make it easier?" Reggie was now facing her from a short distance, only the piano between them, and he could tell there was something up with her, but he couldn't understand what. </p><p>"Uh" her thoughts were everywhere, making any attempt of a sentence sound like pure gibberish. "Sure" she managed after spending an absurd amount of time coming up with the answer. She instantly regretted it. </p><p>The poisoning sound of the electric guitar flooded the room, as she heard Alex marking the tempo and Luke starting the fast-paced song. Now, the room not only felt bigger, it was spinning. The air had left her lungs long before the chorus as the tears gathered around her eyes. She had to leave, now. It was a stupid decision, it was a fucking stupid decision. She stood up without a warning, taking the boys by surprise and making them stop the music. None of them were brave enough to ask if she was ok, Julie was now crying but she didn't seem to realize, and all the color her face had ever possessed was now gone, almost making her look dead. She suddenly felt nauseous. </p><p>"I have to go" She leaned over to pick up her stuff, and left the room feeling like her chest was on fire. The boys had no idea what just happened, so they just shared glances for a couple of seconds, almost having a mental conversation between them, as they waited for her to come back. </p><p>"Did it sound that bad?" Reggie was the first one to break that thin wall of tension present in the room, by successfully joking about the situation, but they all knew they weren't going to be able to shake the feeling of awkwardness that day. Soon, they had returned to rehearsing, in attempts of the forgetting the moment lived.  </p><p>(...)</p><p>Julie had rewritten and erased the same message about 7 times, not being able to formulate a decent enough sentence to explain her little number at the basement that day. Not even she was sure she understood what had happened, did she have a panic attack? Had she ever had one of those? She shook her head, she needed to stop thinking so much about it.</p><p>The next day didn't make her feel any better. Her body still heavy and dizzy made her classes even more difficult to bear, so when they were all finally over, all she wanted to do was go home, but she knew she had to do something first.</p><p>At this point, the way to the basement was so clear in her head she would've been able to draw a map and give indications from a walkie-talkie miles away. She went downstairs when her clock marked 4:15pm and heard the muffled sound of laughter before opening the door without notice. The three boys looked at her in disbelief, not expecting to see her ever again. </p><p>"Hey guys" this time, the guys noticed, she wasn't wearing her usual cap. Reggie and Alex waved at greeted her back, but Luke had already planned what he was going to say if he got the chance to see her.</p><p>"So tell us, did we suck that much? Or was it just bad timing?" Alex found his way next to Luke to slap him in the shoulder, silently asking him to be more sensitive. Reggie smiled slightly and dedicated his time to analyze Julie's posture, which definitely seemed more confident than weeks before. </p><p>"Apologizing to you guys had definitely become my new hobby" she muttered loud enough for them to hear, and she expected them to hurry her into answering what had taken over her the day before, but they just waited patiently for her to sort out her thoughts, and she appreciated it. </p><p>"Two years ago something happened to me and I decided to cut music off my life, that's why I left the music program" she didn't know how much Reggie had told them about her, but she still wasn't ready to go into details. She took a deep breath and the boys stilled, knowing she was about to say something huge. "I also decided to stop listening to music and playing; yesterday was my first time in so long actually listening to something live, y'know?"</p><p>"You're kidding, right?" Luke asked with a nervous laugh, finding it hard to believe what the girl in front of them was saying. Reggie only stared as Alex carefully removed his cap, taking a moment to process what Julie was implying.</p><p>"Excuse me" Alex finally stood up and started walking around the room. "Did you just say you haven't listened to music in 2 years? How is that possible!?"</p><p>"What about movie soundtracks? You can't avoid those!" Reggie quickly added, being a huge fan of movies himself. He knew Julie had gone through some bad times, but he could've never imagined something like this.</p><p>"All I'm gonna say is that I found new hobbies and I'm a straight-A student. Not that I wasn't before, tho" she simply shrugged and walked further into the room slowly, finding a seat on a bench next to the boy's instruments. The boys took a few moments to process their answers. To them, music was more than just their instruments, their songs, and their band; music was their religion! Some people prayed, read their Bible, and even went to church, but for them turning up their playlist at full volume, playing until their fingers hurt and their lungs were on fire, writing songs, and bonding through music was something undefinable. They believed in the almighty power of rock and roll and in the electricity that ran through their veins whenever they played together, why didn't she?</p><p>"But that's impossible, right? You can't just-" Luke had started rambling, and he would've kept going for ages, but Julie cut him off.</p><p>"And yet I did it" the three boys were looking at her again, almost trying to read her. Julie couldn't help to make eye contact with Reggie, the only one whose face wasn't indecipherable. He was hurt, and Julie knew that if she didn't look away, she would've started crying right there. None of them were able to say something, and the room remained silent for a couple of seconds that could've been easily mistaken for hours.</p><p>"And what changed?" Alex broke the silence, already feeling the awkwardness and restlessness rising to his head. Julie didn't want to get emotional, so she tried her best to give a not so sappy answer. </p><p>"When I started coming down here, I didn't think I was gonna be serious about it" a soft, subtle smile made itself present in her face "but then I heard you guys playing one day, and you reminded me of what music felt like for me" she was now blushed, and looking at the floor, a bit ashamed of her words. She barely knew the guys but the sense of familiarity was evident, she could only hope they could feel it too. </p><p>And they did. The three of them exchanged glances and Reggie broke into a sprint towards Julie, surprising her by his sudden moves, and the following hug that he gave her. Just like that, Reggie was sure she wasn't running away, not anymore. Luke and Alex simply smiled, not really knowing what to do, and waited for their little cute moment to end. Once it was over, Julie held Reggie's hand confidently and fixated her eyes on the other band members. </p><p>"Yesterday you told me you needed help with a song, I still wanna help" she beamed at them with happiness, every nerve in her body jumping with content, a million thoughts running through her head but still ready to start whatever she was about to do. "Tho I will ask for patience because my mind is all over the place" a nervous chuckle escaped her lips, but it was contagious enough for the boys to laugh after. </p><p>"Then let's begin" Luke said as he felt his chest pumping up with excitement. Everyone in the room knew something new was about to start, something spectacular, something that was always meant to be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey! Thanks for making it this far! I think I'll try to post every two weeks, which is ironic because I start uni next week lol, we'll see how that goes.<br/>Let me know if you liked it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Got no time to catch my breath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Julie helps the Sunset Curve boys and then they kind of return the favor?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>600 HITS?! WHAT?! IS THAT ALLOWED?! THANK YOU SO MUUCH!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Wait wait wait, you were losing speed at the bridge, Alex" the loud melody of Now or Never stopped for the 5th time in an hour, as Julie pointed out another mistake in the song's execution. The three boys scoffed softly, realizing their fault, and Luke reached out his new copy of the lyrics to add the new changes.</p><p> Julie had been joining Sunset Curve for a week now and was helping sort out their song for their upcoming gig. Ever since they started their little "sessions", Julie knew there was no turning back. It was slow, but she surely found herself surrounded by that feeling of being home she had lost so long ago. Although it was extremely overwhelming the first couple of times, involving tears and random sobs that Julie didn't seem to control, the guys had been incredibly attentive about it, giving her the time and support she needed to keep going.</p><p>"From the top, guys" she was eager to help them because she knew it was gonna help herself too. Besides, she was expecting some lame, amateur high school band with little to no experience, but these guys knew what they were doing!</p><p>"Jules wait, wait" Reggie gasped before Luke could start playing. "5-minute break please"</p><p>"Yes, please. It's been 2 hours" Alex joined him and left his seat behind the drums to stand next to the plaid shirt guy. Julie was sitting down in front of a desk they had brought a couple of days ago, where she kept her copy of Now or Never and a pencil to write everything down, mostly to help the guys because she had recently discovered that Luke's handwriting was the embodiment of a crime against humanity. </p><p>"Come on, guys! One last time!" Luke was still full of energy, unsurprisingly, and ready to keep playing for hours and hours. There was absolutely nothing else in the world he wished he was doing. </p><p>"Luke, they're right, let's give ourselves 10" Julie stared apologetically at the two tired boys for a bit and laughed internally, realizing she had been pushing them a little. </p><p>"Easy for you to say, you're not doing anything" Luke let down his guitar, almost throwing a tantrum, and left the room with a pretty evident pout on his face. Julie, Reggie, and Alex just looked at each other and burst into laughter after they were sure he was gone.</p><p>"He's conscious about the fact that I'm helping you rearrange the song, right?" Julie joked mindlessly as the boys laughed and found a place to sit. Alex reached his huge hydro flask and passed it on to Reggie, who almost emptied its content. Reggie sat down next to Julie and checked his phone for a few minutes, Julie kept thinking about the song as she tapped the beat into the table, when all the sudden, Alex started laughing on his own, grabbing the bridge of his nose and rocking himself back and forth as the intensity increased. Julie and Reggie couldn't help but join him, not sure of what was happening.</p><p>"What is it this time?" Asked Reggie through his belly laugh, immediately reading the situation. Julie's laughter died a bit when she realized what was happening, but she kept quiet.</p><p>"One Direction, all the damn day!" Alex exploded one more time, and Julie's eyes grew bigger once her suspicions were confirmed. <em>Alex was talking about his soulmate.</em></p><p>"Do you ever wonder what they're like?" Julie assumed a shy posture and fidgeted with her fingers as she asked her question. Both Reggie and Alex looked at her with tenderness, as they felt a wide smile appearing on their faces.</p><p>"He doesn't have to, Jules" Reggie grinned widely at Alex as his friend blushed profoundly and looked away from both of his companions. Julie's mouth hanged open as she caught up on Reggie's words. </p><p>"You know who they are!?" Julie's voice came up extremely high, as a result of her excitement, making the boys giggle sweetly in return. </p><p>"His name is Levi Reed, he graduates this year" Alex blushed again, his cheeks reaching a bright red color, and Julie's heart sang with thrill. "You must have seen him around, he's a very popular senior" Alex confessed, still not believing he was dating an almost college boy. Julie nodded without hesitation. She had no idea who the guy was, but she desperately wanted Alex to keep going. Although Loz Feliz high school was an institution that prided itself over their music program and their alumni, the remaining student population, the one was outside of the music program, were equally remarkable in every way. Ray Molina, being an former student himself who was never considered to have musical abilities, knew this. He knew Julie would either come around or excel in any other area. </p><p>"How did you find out?" she was now full of curiosity, and she did not try to hide it. Both guys found themselves laughing again.</p><p>"It's a long story," said Alex with, probably, the most subtle and yet happy smile Julie had ever seen. Now she wanted to know every single detail.</p><p>"Julie, don't listen to him. He has told us the same sappy story like a thousand times" Reggie made fun of him, remembering of the many times Alex had told them about their first encounter and how marvelous everything had been ever since. Julie gave him puppy eyes, knowing it would be hard for the guys to refuse. Was it playing dirty? Sure, but was she a fangirl? A veteran, of the highest ranking.</p><p>"Alright I'll tell you everything" he finally let down his guard and sat in a position that could only be described as 'ready to spill the tea'. </p><p>"See? That didn't need much convincing-" Reggie was stopped midway because Alex took the liberty of pushing him off the bench where he and Julie were sitting. Alex gracefully returned to his seat behind the drums, as Julie felt her chest hurt from all the wheezing.</p><p>"So, I had a big fight with the boys that day, it was really stupid honestly, after our performance at last year's ball" Alex started his story, holding both of his drumsticks and making them spin. Reggie carefully went back to his seat and gave him a dirty look.</p><p>"Oh yeah, I remember," Julie thought casually, realizing something she was going to ask about later, but she let Alex continue. She quickly realized it was best to keep the comment to herself since she had left the gym before they even got the chance to start.</p><p>"Anyway, so I left the stage and I was a complete mess, right? I was crying and I started feeling sick because my meds had worn off hours before the presentation, so I was a mess. Did I say I was a mess?" Julie laughed about the way the boy just vomited his words, but kept in mind the fact that he mentioned meds, and wrote down a mental note.</p><p>"And yeah I sat down in the middle of the hallway, bawling my eyes out, and suddenly the idiot starts singing freaking 'Summer' by Calvin Harris with the most awful lack of coordination I've ever heard" all three of them started laughing uncontrollably, but Alex kept going anyway "A-and I must've said aloud something like <em>Jesus fuck not now, not Calvin Harris</em>, but I guess I was lucky because-" he stopped laughing but kept a huge smile on his face, making both Julie and Reggie stop "He was <em>just</em> passing by and said 'Well at least I found you because of him', and up til this day I believe I was crying so damn loud I couldn't listen to him outside my head, otherwise I would've realized he was right next to me." </p><p>Julie didn't know what took over her, but her first reaction was to screech for at least 10 seconds, scaring the shit out of Reggie and Alex. Her fangirl mode was on and there was no way of making it stop. </p><p>"PLEASE STOP SCREAMING" Alex managed to say over her loud voice, making her lose decibels. "Christ, you got some lungs"</p><p>"That's the most beautiful story I've ev!-" the blasting sound of stomping was heard from the afar as the door swung open only to show a very agitated Luke, holding a broom tightly and high, as his life depended on it. </p><p>"I HEARD SCREAMING, WHAT HAPPENED?" his voice was overtaken by concern and the boys could tell he was scared, which probably made the situation even more comical than it was, because Reggie, Alex, and Julie now couldn't stop laughing. At some point, Alex even fell from his chair (karma?), all while Luke observed them from the door, wondering what the fuck was going on.</p><p>"I- I was fa-" Julie did her best to come up with a coherent sentence, but every time she opened her mouth, a giggle came out instead "fa-fangirling over Alex's soulmate story" she finally managed to finish, only to go back to laughing her ass out, mirroring the boys as they all hunched over to grab their midsection. After a couple of minutes, they were able to get a hold of their laughter, to realize Luke had already gotten rid of the broom and was angrily sitting in front of his guitar. </p><p>"Are you done? Can we go back to rehearsing?" he was visibly pissed. Julie couldn't help to laugh once again, this time at the boy's childishness, but it died out quickly as she realized both Alex and Reggie looking at him with nothing but seriousness.</p><p>"Come on, man. Really? Now?" Alex complained, looking pretty annoyed as well. Suddenly, Julie no longer felt drugged in happiness, but more like dizzy from the palpable tension in the room. </p><p>"Dude, can you not be freaking rude about this today?" Reggie was quick with his words, and even though Alex didn't like the way he had delivered them, he found no reasons to refute anything he said. Luke just mindlessly played the chords of Now or Never, as he tried to ignore the situation. </p><p>"You guys know it's annoying" Luke whispered loud enough for them to catch, and just kept playing. "So, are we gonna keep going or what?"</p><p>"Not with that attitude" Julie finally joined the conversation, grabbing one more time her pencil and paper "So, are we gonna keep going or what?" She mocked Luke's words with a naughty smile on her face. The boy only rolled his eyes, as his other bandmates returned to their spots to play their instruments. Luke had something interesting to say about his soulmate, but Julie knew it wasn't her right to ask. "Alright guys, from the top"</p><p>(...)</p><p>One more week went by and the guys were ready to rock the shit out of their next crowd. Julie turned out to be an 'amazing producer', as Reggie kept calling her, and now joined them every single afternoon to hear them play, or just fool around. What was left as a mystery, though, was the ridiculously short amount of time it had taken Julie to enter the boys' lives, and the even more absurd lack of effort she had put into it. </p><p>Even though they didn't share their thoughts aloud, all four of them were haunted by the fact that Julie was now a part of their lives, and they were all planning on keeping it that way. Luke, who was the most adamant about letting the girl hang out with them, was now mesmerized by Julie's creativity, and constantly praised her for her talent. Alex, on the other hand, had found a partner to be extremely sarcastic with and to bully the boys without feeling any remorse afterward. Reggie, well, he just felt incredibly blessed for having her back into his life. </p><p>The freezing Thursday afternoon had made them all leave the basement earlier, and left them wandering in the hallways of LF, which were currently empty due to the hour. After long minutes of jokes, they all decided they weren't ready to go home, so they found the bleachers and sat there, with the sun fading slowly on the horizon.</p><p>"Hey, I wanted to ask you" Julie voiced her thoughts, stopping the guys' laughter from a comment Reggie had just made "The other day, Alex mentioned last year's ball, and I don't remember much, my dad basically forced me to come" she looked at her feet, suddenly feeling uncomfortable by the memory "But anyway, my point is that I saw you before you performed, for like 10 seconds maybe, and I remember four people on stage, not three."</p><p>Julie finally looked up and saw the effect of her question. Alex had just taken off his cap with shaky hands, Reggie just stared at the field with discomfort, and Luke turned his hands into a fist, making his knuckles go white. Later Julie realized they had all closed their eyes for a couple of seconds, like remembering a moment too painful to bear. "Bobby," Luke said under his breath "that selfish bastard". He stood up and started going up and down the bleachers, Julie guessed, as a way to keep his anger at bay.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" she started quickly, not really knowing what to say. </p><p>"No, it's fine" Reggie carefully placed his hand on hers, calming her nerves down, just like he used to do years ago. "We're not on speaking terms with that person, not anymore"</p><p>"We kicked him out of band" Alex murmured, with a low and suddenly broken voice, almost making it sound like a confession. "He, um-" tears welled up in his eyes and Julie knew she had touched a very difficult topic. Her arms found her way around his neck and hugged him for a couple of seconds, as Reggie rubbed his back delicately. Alex was mostly over the situation by now, but remembering everything made him so exasperated, because he knew that was exactly the way his parents would react once they knew his secret. He cried because it made him feel angry and restless.</p><p>"He insulted Alex after finding out who his soulmate was" Reggie's voice broke a little bit too at the end. "It was so weird, y'know? He had never been very vocal about it and then one day he just snapped" When Julie broke the hug with Alex to gaze at Reggie, there were no signs of tears, he simply looked defeated, betrayed.</p><p>"We were best friends, all four of us, but then he became so annoying and greedy" Julie's heart ripped into a million pieces when she heard Alex's whispers. How did that boy hurt them so much? He wiped away his tears with his hand, as Julie expectantly waited for someone else to say something.</p><p>"And right after that, he tried to split us up to keep the band's name and go solo, can you fucking believe it?!" Luke yelled, considering the silence around them, and angrily kicked a water bottle he found, making it roll down the bleachers. Julie's mouth opened, shocked by all the new revelations. "I know it sounds stupid but" he looked down "we're a family, Julie. He tried to destroy the only good thing we have in our lives"</p><p>He finally stopped moving and went back to the guys, to face Julie "You have no idea how hard it was to write Now Or Never after such, such-" he stood up again, gasping for air, attempting to find the word "after all the shitty stuff he did to us". He was still gasping for air, given that coming to terms with his feelings was something he hadn't done properly yet. He had so much wrath growing inside of him, and regretted not punching him in the face when he had the chance, but he knew how Reggie felt about violence. </p><p>"He made us fight last year at the school ball, he started everything." Alex muttered under his breath "At first it didn't click, but once we kicked him out, it just made sense".</p><p>Julie was silent, processing her thoughts. She never considered herself vulgar when it came to insults or cursing, she'd rather save that anger up for important occasions, but right now with a clouded head, holding both Reggie's and Alex's hands, and feeling Luke's rage, something may or may have not slipped off her mouth.</p><p>"If I ever see that shameful son of a bitch insulting or doing anything disrespectful to you, I'll punch him in the face so hard his entire ancestry will feel how much of a homophobic disappointment he is, and he'll regret the day he came to this world along with his mommy issues and bullshitty insecurities. And if he decides to be an idiot again, I'd personally shove my fist up his-" Julie stopped her train of thought, and realized it was too late. "Woah", she thought, "Mom was right, I am very impulsive". She was about to mutter an apology she honestly did not feel when she heard the three boys collectively gasping for air, but this time, they couldn't stop laughing. </p><p>They laughed for about 5 minutes straight, Julie finally surrendering at her spontaneity, and when they finally had calmed down enough, one simple look at each other's eyes was enough to send them down to a whole other round of breathlessness. </p><p>"I can officially die in peace" Reggie was the first to talk, barely being able to keep himself sitting down without sliding. </p><p>"Yeah, remind me to never piss you off" Alex added with difficulty, but beaming at Julie in a way she had never seen before. They all had seemed to have forgotten the reason why they were upset in the first place, making Julie feel kind of proud of herself. </p><p>"To be honest, I consider myself a very peaceful person" She teased a bit, making her voice sound higher and sweeter than it was, earning even bigger smiles and laughter from her companions. She smiled too.</p><p>"It's the chaotic energy for me" Luke twitted, teasing her just a little for her to smack him in the shoulder with her backpack, almost making him trip over. Before she could formulate a reply, a vibration in her pocket made the words leave her head. "Shit, I forgot to call my dad" she uttered, desperately. The guys only quieted down and observed the scene.</p><p>"Heeeey, dad" she tried to stay cheery and optimistic, but she knew what was coming for her. She checked the time, and it was almost 7pm. </p><p>"Juliana Isabel Molina, I want you here in 15 minutes" and that was it. He hanged up, leaving her no time to explain herself. Julie exhaled sharply, realizing she had been holding her breath, and eyed the guys for a couple of seconds, before standing up and running down. "I have to go, guys! I'm sorry!" She managed to shout, out of air already at the bottom of the bleachers.</p><p>"Wait, Julie!!!" Reggie made her stop on her tracks, and looked at him desperately, letting him know he was taking some precious time away from her. "We can take you home! We have our bikes!"</p><p>"Then move your damn ass!!" She hurried them, as they found their way down hastily not even daring to question her distress, and quickly found their bikes. She got behind Reggie and surrounded his waist with her arms, knowing the boy knew where to go, and just like the wind, the three boys pedaled hard to get her home on time. Alex and Luke didn't have the heart to leave Reggie alone, so they followed them to the Molina's residence. Julie didn't think it through at all, but later she'd realize that the other two now knew where she lived. </p><p>She kissed Reggie's cheek, just like she used to do years ago, and fist-bumped the other two before running inside, knowing very well the door would be open. She was very surprised to find her dad sneaking between the window blinds, as the boys biked away. </p><p>Without even looking at her, and just by the sound of the door, he turned his head nervously and said, pissing himself because of his laughter "Well, I wasn't expecting you to get home so soon". At this point, Julie's breathing was irregular and her heart was beating a thousand times per hour.</p><p>"Wait, what?!" She scoffed, visibly annoyed. She walked to the couch and let herself fall to rest from the marathon she had just endured. Although come to think of it, she wondered how nice the guys had been-</p><p>"Aunt Victoria told me I had to pretend to be angry to sound convincing! And it worked!" he chuckled harder as he got close to her and kissed her forehead "I'm glad you're home" she smiled, defeated, she couldn't be mad at her dad for more than two minutes. </p><p>"By the way" Ray continued, as Carlos came downstairs chanting about finally having dinner. Julie only giggled in response. "Who were those guys?" He didn't look at her, but she knew he was dying to know the reason for her delay. </p><p>"Um" Julie tried to put her thoughts together, not very confident about telling his dad about the band, she was tired enough to not have another complicated conversation that day. "Do you remember Reggie?" His dad immediately lightened up and grinned widely towards Julie.</p><p>"Reggie? As in Reginald Peters? Your summer camp friend?" Julie only nodded and tried to match his sudden change of spirit. "A-are you guys dancing together? Or something? Anything?" He stumbled with his own words, and when he saw the excitement emanating from his face, she realized she didn't have the heart to tell him she hadn't been able to play an instrument herself or even sing.</p><p>"No, we're just" she stopped, biting her tongue, well aware of the fact she was about to lie to the man she never kept secrets from "we're studying math together, you know Reg has always been good with numbers". </p><p>Ray Molina deflated right on the spot, breaking Julie's heart a bit because she had lied, but deep inside of her, she knew it was for the best. He had spent months trying to get her into music again, and to let him know his trials had been unsuccessful, would've been a worse kind of disappointment. Julie stared at him for a couple of seconds before standing up and approaching him for a hug. It was her way of saying "Please be patient with me, this is hard", and he seemed to catch the message when he hummed and surrounded her shoulders with his big, warm arms. She felt safe and home, but it was a different type of home.</p><p>Carlos came running from the kitchen inside the living room with enough energy to take over an entire continent, asking for help to set up the table. Ray and Julie looked at each other and shook their heads with a smile on their faces, still amazed at the amount of liveliness her little brother possessed. It reminded her of the long sleepless nights she would spend writing songs with her mom. When things were easier. When she didn't know about Sunset Curve.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey! Thank you making it this far, I really appreciate it!<br/>Buckle up because the next couple of chapters will be weird:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. And all the times we fell behind... (pt.1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's gig night! But let's make it a mess</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can't believe I almost have 1k hits. Like, is this a dream? Do people actually like this? HAHAHA</p><p>Also tw: underage drinking? idk it's beers the boys are dumb</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Reggie had insisted on creating a group chat for weeks, claiming that being the band message guy was hard work. At first, they had ignored him, but lately, the idea seemed quite appealing. Late at night, creativity seemed to have great appearances, but some things definitely got lost in translation when they had to be re-sent to someone else, and they definitely needed Julie's opinion for many things. </p><p>Finally, a decision was taken and that afternoon after dropping Julie at her place, Reggie created the 'Fantastic 4' group chat. They couldn't really include her in their Sunset Curve chat, so they came up with a new one, and Reggie proudly took the whole credit for the name.<br/> <br/>The first text Julie sent that night was a huge thank you for taking her in, something she didn't have the courage to say out loud and told them she wouldn't be able to join them the next day. They complained a bit but understood she had other responsibilities (and they would deny it if asked, but spending time as a band was much more fun with Julie, and they couldn't understand why). She also urged them to take the day off after school to rest their voices and their bodies, since their gig was coming. Even though they were only singing one song, she knew how demanding it was, and how much power they needed in order to pull it through. With lots of convincing and motherly talking, they reluctantly agreed, admitting they were actually tired and needed some rest from the long weeks they had had.</p><p>Friday flew away faster than they had all expected, only making the boys more excited about their Saturday presentation. Whether they liked it or not, they missed Julie's company during their practice. All four went back to their respective houses, with the feeling in their hearts of something that had gone missing, but they all dismissed it and dedicated their afternoons to doing something other than homework.</p><p>At last, the awaited day of their gig had arrived, and none of them could contain their happiness, not even Julie, who started texting them the moment she woke up. She had sent them nothing but good energies and wishes and asked like a million times for pictures and recordings.</p><p>
  <strong>Lucas Cruikshank:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Wait, you're not coming?</em>
</p><p><strong>Alexander McQueen:</strong><br/><em>But Juuuulieeeeeeee, you're so good at calming down my nerves</em> 🥺</p><p>
  <strong>Reginald Lucas:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Top 10 anime betrayals, my own best friend</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Lucas Cruikshank:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>I thought I was your best friend</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Alexander McQueen:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Luke, not now</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Reginald Lucas:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>6010 W Pico Blvd</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Julianne Hough:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>What's that</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Reginald Lucas:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>The address, so you can come and take those pictures yourself. We'll be there at 10pm;)</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Julianne Hough:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Gfy, Reg</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Lucas Cruikshank:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Honestly, sometimes I forget Julie could take me down by only raising her eyebrows</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Alexander McQueen:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>She doesn't even give you time to flinch, man</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Julianne Hough:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>You all love me.</em>
</p><p>Julie let down her phone as she watched the address and read all the stupidities the boys sent throughout the day. Soon enough, the clock marked 9pm, and she decided to leave her room for the first time in hours to see what the people were doing. Carlos was having a sleepover at a friend's house, her dad was working on some photos at his studio, and tía Victoria was knocked down on the couch, probably watching Pasión de Gavilanes on TV. </p><p>Her feet were suddenly taking her somewhere without her consent, and before she knew, her heart was beating fast on her chest as she knocked on his dad's studio door.</p><p>"Yes, <em>mi amor</em>?" He asked without taking his eyes off his computer screen.</p><p>"There's a party at 10pm not that far from here, I was wondering if I could go" Ray looked at her, dumbfounded, and Julie couldn't help but laugh at his dad's face. "Before you ask, Reggie invited me"</p><p>"And what's the occasion?" he firmly placed his elbows on the desk as he used his hands to grab both sides of his face, making him look like a curious little child. That's Carlos' smile right there, she thought. </p><p>"It's one of his friend's birthday" she bit her lip nervously, hoping to sound convincing. Telling her dad she had been helping them with their music was only gonna confuse him. She kept trying to convince herself it was better this way. </p><p>"How late are planning on staying?" His face now shifted into something more serious, something more "dad" mode. </p><p>"Probably 1am, I don't think they like partying too hard" Did they even liked partying at all? She started thinking. They did look like they could drink a couple of beers, and the mere thought of them drunk made a shiver run down her spine.</p><p>"Are they bringing you home?" </p><p>"Sure, I can ask them" it wasn't a yes, but apparently it was enough for him.</p><p>"I'm proud you're going out, mija" he smiled kindly at her, knowing it had been a long time since she went out at night with someone that wasn't a family member. It may have looked insignificant, but it was progress, and he was proud of it. "Take as long as you need to get ready, but not too much!"</p><p>"Thanks, dad" she hugged him from behind his chair, giving him a loud kiss on the cheek.</p><p>"And Julie?" Ray stopped her halfway, with a nervous gaze. "I don't think we have to talk about drinking and all the things that come with it, right?" the man didn't know what to do with himself. Julie only smiled sideways, grateful for the mess of a dad she had, and nodded firmly, apparently lifting a weight from his shoulders.</p><p>Now, she was running upstairs, ready to wreck down her room and closet because she hadn't left her house in almost 2 years.</p><p>(...)</p><p>The Mint bar wasn't exactly the best or the right place to be found by LA's most famous producers, but it was definitely a start. A start Reggie, Alex, and Luke were very proud of. They had performed at birthday parties, at school, at small meetings, but never for such a diverse and critical crowd like the one you'd find in a bar. They weren't performing for their families, or little kids anymore, they were performing for their future potential audience, and just thinking about it made them freeze. Actual, thinking adults. </p><p>Just like Reggie said, the boys arrived around 10pm and were assigned a fancy table near the stage. Luke and Reggie, taking advantage of the staff's obliviousness, ordered beers to celebrate. Alex knew better, thinking about the outcome of combining pills with alcohol, so he ordered a coke instead. A young guy in a black shirt named Dylan, most likely the host of the event, approached their table and informed them they were performing at 11pm. They were beyond thrilled. </p><p>A bit after 10:30pm, they noticed a short woman's silhouette coming to their table, with black pants, a navy blue crop under a denim jacket, and curly hair let down that almost seemed like- </p><p>"Jules?!" Reggie stood up first, not being able to process a longer sentence and just hugging her with all the strength he counted on. The other two boys hugged her as well, not actually believing she had made it all this way to watch them perform.</p><p>"Julie, you look amazing" Alex invited her to their table and they all sat down "And let me tell you, that shirt? Absolutely gorgeous, I was waiting for the moment you stopped wearing black" </p><p>"How can you even tell with this lightning" Luke questioned him, squinting his eyes at the piece of clothing and only being able to see a dark color, not that it mattered to him.</p><p>"You all better focus on my makeup, I hadn't done my eyeliner in months!" She pointed at her eyes, matching their excitement "Each eye took 10 minutes, it was a nightmare. But you guys look nice too!" </p><p>Reggie was wearing his newest leather jacket and his hair looked less messy than usual. Alex matched Julie with a dark blue hoodie and his usual cap. Luke was wearing a big grey jacket with sleeves (what an achievement!), but Julie could only guess there was a muscle tee under the layer of clothing. (And she was right because he would take off his jackets for every performance)<br/>It was a weird thing to think, but Julie genuinely thought they already looked like an established rock band.</p><p>"Makeup or no makeup, I'm glad you're here" Reggie held her hand tightly and smiling in a weird way, quickly giving away the fact that they were all nervous as hell.</p><p>"Guys, you're gonna do great, don't worry" Julie assured them. "You basically have music running through your veins at this point, it's a part of you, so don't be afraid" Luke turned his gaze away from the table to look at her, realizing she had said exactly what they needed to hear. He inevitably smiled, making the rest of the table smile with him. </p><p>"We got this, we'll rock the hell out of this place" he placed his hand at the center of the table, urging Alex and Reggie to grab it. Julie observed the adorable scene when she felt Reggie pulling her hand to the center as well.</p><p>"I regret to inform you, but you're part of this circus now" Alex joked, stealing a burst of huge laughter away from her. They admired their hands touching and Julie wondered if they were actually meant to be there, at this moment, together.</p><p>"Good, now I can become your fake manager and live off your fame and autographs" laughter filled the table again as Luke and Reggie drank their beers. She would definitely make no questions about how they got those. "By the way, how did you get your instruments here?"<br/> <br/>Alex gave Luke the meanest glare ever seen on Earth, and Reggie only giggled as he held the bottle in his hand. Alex zapped him in the forehead and sat straighter on his spot, visibly uncomfortable.</p><p>"I may or may have not lied to my parents to get the car for the night" Luke whispered, coming closer to Julie, who was on the opposite side of the table like he was telling everyone his deepest secret. </p><p>"I don't like where this is going" the dim glow of the club light was enough for Luke to notice the worry in her face, something he would exclusively get from his friends, not someone he met less than two months ago. </p><p>"My parents gave me a car for my 16th birthday, and they have always told me I could take it, as long as I left the band and focused on my career" even with a smile on his face, Julie caught a bit of sadness, even resentment from his speech. She had no idea his parents didn't support his idea of becoming a musician and wondered if it was the same for the other boys. "So this morning I told them I had a big fight with the boys and dissolved Sunset Curve, and they immediately gave me the car keys" Julie just opened her mouth, shocked "They even said I could spend the night out, and that's what I'm doing!"</p><p>"You did what?! Are you crazy?!" Julie finally scolded him once she came back to her senses. "What if they find out?! What are you gonna do?!" </p><p>"Jules, you're talking to the most talented liar in the business, they'll never find out," He said proudly while stretching his arms on the sofa, with a wide grin on his face.</p><p>"Yeah, just like that time you twisted your ankle and pretend to be fine until they caught you" retorted Alex.</p><p>"Hey! I was able to keep it up for a week!" Luke fought back, never willing to let Alex win one of their many arguments.</p><p>"Guys, just relax! We'll figure that out later, look at where we are!" Reggie added to the conversation, taking another sip on his beer. "Do they have fake ID's or something?" Julie thought to herself. </p><p>"Thanks, Reg" Luke fist-bumped his partner in crime from across the table, making both Julie and Alex roll their eyes. They knew this situation was going to come for Luke's ass at some point. </p><p>"Hey, it's almost 11pm, at what time do you play?" Julie checked her phone, thinking she was going to find millions of texts from his dad, but there was only one. <em>H</em><em>ave lots of fun!,</em> she smiled.</p><p>"Actually, we should've been called already" Alex started looking around, confused.</p><p>"Yeah, we left our instruments behind the stage, they should've called us to set everything up" Luke was now looking at the staff guy that had received them when he noticed another band setting their instruments on stage. "Hey, look, maybe they switched the order" they all turned to look at the little platform, where three boys were connecting cables and preparing everything. The group only looked at each other and shrugged, not really knowing what to say.</p><p>Suddenly, the staff guy appeared on the front and grabbed the microphone to announce the next band.</p><p>"Alright, everyone! Quiet down!" The place went completely silent in a couple of seconds. "We have our 4th band all set for tonight, are you ready?" Everyone cheered up for the next band, including the boys and Julie, curious to see their "contenders".<br/>"Give it up for-" people around the bar clapped their hands against the tables, simulating a drum-roll, "Sunset Curve!!!" Loud applause flooded the air as the table eyed each other bewildered. <em>They</em> were Sunset Curve, what the fuck was going on? </p><p>Just when they collectively stood up to find Dylan, the Sunset Curve imitation got on stage, and they noticed the one person that made all this messed up situation, surprisingly, completely rational. <em>Bobby</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I apologize for the cliffhanger but I couldn't stop myself<br/>Expect the 2nd part next week uwu<br/>Also, their chat names are subject of change because they barely know each other.</p><p>Spanish lessons with your latinx host!<br/>This is an easy one, but 'mi amor's literal translation is 'my love'? Parents have different terms of endearment for their kids and I don't think Ray calls Julie mija all the time + idk that's how my mom calls me sometimes don't @ me haha<br/>And Pasión de Gavilanes, the thing Tía Victoria is watching, is one of the most iconic Colombian telenovelas ever, and I take no criticism.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Were just the keys to paradise (pt.2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Julie is a badass and the boys are talented<br/>Periodt</p><p>ALSO<br/>I listened to Now or Never on loop while writing this one so you might as well wanna</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>UM 1K+ HITS? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THANK YOU</p><p>btw I may add the songs I listen to while writing the story so you understand what I'm feeling HAHA</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At first, Julie didn't recognize him, but it was enough to look at the boys' faces to notice there was something catastrophic going on. If violence was ever forbidden from their manners, that was long forgotten now, because they were all ready to smack the shit out of their former bandmate.<br/> <br/>A catchy tune started, one the three boys knew very well. Get Lost blasted on the bar amplifiers and all the people sitting down were now standing up and clapping to the rhythm of the song. Luke's blood was boiling in anger, resulting in him taking off his jacket. Suddenly, the pieces fell into place; he had lost his songwriting notebook a couple of days after kicking Bobby out of the band, but he never thought- </p><p>He only closed his eyes to stop the frustration tears from coming out, and after taking a few deep breaths and cooling down, he stopped himself from jumping in the middle of the presentation and using Bobby as a punching bag. Alex and Reggie were simply frozen, unable to compute the events. Julie only watched the scene, trying to understand what was going on to help, but failing miserably. The boys would later explain the notebook situation, but right now, they were focused on trying not to commit murder. Dylan appeared in their sight, and Julie immediately caught him by his shirt neck. The man was frightened.</p><p>"Why did you present those guys as Sunset Curve?" Julie admonished the guy and basically reduced him to ashes with her gaze. He started mumbling, trying to come up with an answer but he felt intimidated. The boys soon became aware of the situation but didn't stop her from grabbing the guy. How was that 5'5 girl able to grab that guy so easily, if he was way taller than her? Unknown. "They," she remarked, pointing at the guys next to her "are Sunset Curve, not them!" </p><p>"I'm sorry, there was a big misunderstanding" she pressed the shirt harder, enough to force an answer faster, but loose enough to not hurt him. "My partner booked another group with the same name, but they signed themselves up two days before you! We thought it was the same band booked twice, I deeply apologize for the inconveniences" the guy carefully placed his hands on Julie's, asking for permission to let go. He ran away, probably ready to fight with his co-worker. They just stood there, speechless, looking at each other while their worlds fell apart.</p><p>Soon, the song was almost over, but the rage inside of them was just beginning to rise. The club cheered up when the final note was played, and they shouted compliments at the young band as they let down their instruments and saluted their public. Not even a minute after coming off stage, Bobby was raided by the actual members of Sunset Curve. </p><p>"Ooh, hey guys!" Bobby greeted them, with a smile that screamed superiority complex from miles away. Julie frowned, not familiarized with his cocky character, and just looked away. This fight wasn't hers, as much as she wanted to step in. </p><p>"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Stealing our damn name? MY songs?!" Luke stepped up in front of Alex and Reggie, ready to throw fists with the guy. </p><p>"If I remember correctly, I thought of the name, and I helped you write most of them" he pointed at himself, still with that very punch-able smile, and Julie started losing her mind. </p><p>"Nono, Reggie thought of the name and then you pretended to give him the idea" Alex barged into the conversation, already feeling his hands shaking under his hoodie. "And Luke wrote most of those songs himself! Don't take fucking credit!"</p><p>"Whatever, I don't think you'll need the name after today" he picked up his guitar, throwing it inside of its case, mirroring his new bandmates.</p><p>"And why is that, jackass?" Reggie had never liked insulting people, but Bobby was making fun of his friends, and he just couldn't take it.</p><p>"Because you guys have no future against my new band, they're basically professionals" he grinned at his new band members as they came closer, having noticed their guitarist talking to some strangers. "They've been playing for years, we'll get a contract soon"</p><p>"So just because you guys look like a bunch of <em>malandros</em>, we're supposed to feel intimidated?" Julie finally snapped, not being able to hold herself back for another second. "Besides, it looks like you're in their way if they're already professionals. I think you're not even an amateur"</p><p>"Aww, hello! I didn't see you there!" He bent down his knees, closing a bit the height difference in a way she had always hated. Oh yeah, she was definitely punching him in the face. "So which one are you screwing, Reggie or Luke? I'm afraid you won't have any chances with Alex, tho" Before Luke or Reggie could say something to defend their friend, she had already placed herself in front of Luke, looking Bobby straight in the eye.</p><p>"Listen to me, abortion attempt of a rat, even if I was screwing one of them, it only takes one look at them and one look at you to realize you don't know the first thing about women, let alone respect them" his mouth opened, thinking he had a chance of defending himself, completely underestimating her words. Little did he know she did rap challenges with Flynn for breakfast and wrote songs in a matter of minutes back in the day. </p><p>"Now, tell me, is it the lack of oxygen in your tiny little brain that makes you so stupid? Or were you dropped as a baby multiple times? Because that would explain your face as well" Julie heard the guys giggling uncontrollably from behind, but she kept her cold expression.  "Now, unless you want a free nose surgery to correct that nasty deviated septum, I suggest you walk away"</p><p>After a couple of seconds of intense staring, the guy simply walked away, muttering the word 'bitch' under his breath, to which she responded '<em>ratero</em>', even though he didn't understand. Luke was willing to follow him, and actually hurt him like he had been dreaming of, but soon found Reggie and Alex grabbing his arms. </p><p>Suddenly, they all turned their heads to look at Julie and smiled. Where had she been their entire lives? Julie looked at her feet glowing, catching up on all of the things she said, but then shifted into a tense posture. </p><p>"Guys, you still need a name" the guys froze on their spot, just as their brain engines started moving a thousand miles per hour. What were they gonna do?!</p><p>"It took me months to come up with Sunset Curve!" Reggie just scoffed, defeated. They had been through a lot in such a short amount of time.</p><p>"That's it, we're done" Alex found his way back to their table and proceeded to sit down. The rest followed, sitting down for a couple of minutes. None of the people in the club seemed to have witnessed the fight, and they were thankful for not having to give any explanations. </p><p>"Hey! We can't give up! Let's brainstorm!" Luke did his best to keep their hopes up, and he would've come up with a great speech, but an unknown staff member appeared.</p><p>"Hello! You're up in 20'! You can go upstage and arrange your instruments now!" a girl with beautiful brown long hair beamed at them, completely unaware of their crisis. "And I was told there was a little misunderstanding with the band's name? So just tell Dylan the name before he presents you to everyone, good luck!" She walked away fast, probably on her way to take people's orders. To make things worse, the place looked even more packed than before. Were they about to embarrass themselves in front of a bunch of strangers? They could've even remembered the chords, their minds were everywhere.</p><p>Not knowing what else to do, and completely out of words, Luke motioned the stage with his hands and guided the guys to start setting up their things. Julie helped too, with her mind constantly revolving around the fact that they needed a name. Reggie would blurt some ideas out from time to time, but none of them seemed to be enough, none of them were Sunset Curve. </p><p>Finally, their moment came. The curtains closed before them.</p><p>"Guys, you're up, I need the name" Dylan came towards them, mic in hand and ready to go out there to present the next band. The guys looked at each other, helpless, and Julie's frustrated mind ran faster to come up with something, anything. </p><p>"This is madness" Alex was on the verge of tears, already feeling the situation being greater than any of them. He wanted to leave, he couldn't breathe.</p><p>Madness, Julie's head caught. These guys are the definition of madness, what if-</p><p>"A minute 'til midnight guys! I need to go out there" Luke was about to apologize and explain why they couldn't perform without a name, when something inside of Julie's mind clicked, making her jump on her spot, just to run towards the staff guy. Half of his body was already outside the curtains, but she caught his wrist strongly, scaring the shit out of him one more time.</p><p>"Midnight Madness!" She screamed, completely out of air for no reason. A collective 'What?' from the guys was heard in the background, but before any of them could protest, Dylan was already talking to the public, presenting the band with the name just given. Julie finally registered what she did and was about to apologize for overstepping, for not even asking if they agreed to the name when she was kicked out of the stage. They looked at her with fear, as the curtains opened. Julie just stood up next to the stage, not finding enough reasons to sit down. </p><p>The boys looked at each other, being able to recognize the fear in each other's eyes, but soon found themselves breathing in and out synchronized, an old trick they had learned. They were there, and they were gonna leave their souls on that stage. It was no longer about proving themselves to the world, but proving to each other they could do it together. </p><p>Luke took a deep breath and started playing, making everyone in the club gasp at how smoothly he ran his fingers through the guitar. </p><p>
  <em>Take off, last stop</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Countdown 'til we blast open the top</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Face first, full charge</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Electric hammer to the heart</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clocks move forward 'cause</em>
  <br/>
  <em>We don't get older no</em>
</p><p>Julie heaved, euphoric, as the boys harmonized together, already absorbed and mesmerized by their performance.</p><p>
  <em>Kept on climbing</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'Til our stars collided</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And all the times we fell behind</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Were just the keys to paradise</em>
</p><p>Luke had run out of air at the end of the last sentence, having to step back and simply play the chorus chords for a couple of seconds to not mess up, letting Reggie and Alex take care of it. Only the four of them noticed, but Julie grew anxious in her spot next to the stage because Luke had planned on going higher for the second verse. He wasn't going to make it.</p><p>
  <em>Hear the noise in my head</em>
  <br/>
  <em>It's calling out like a voice I can't forget</em>
  <br/>
  <em>One life, no regrets</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Catch up, got no time to catch my breath</em>
</p><p>Jules took a deep breath and mouthed the lyrics at Luke, staring at him directly in the eyes, somehow attempting to transmit some tranquility among all the chaos they were going through. He noticed her gaze, making direct eye contact with her and instantly relaxing his tense shoulders, and sharing a secret smile with her.</p><p>
  <em>And clocks move faster</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'Cause it's all we're after now, oh</em>
</p><p>Reggie joined him in the mic, beaming at him in attempts to soothe him just like Julie did. Luke hyped himself up and he was jumping confidently in no time. He was no longer afraid.</p><p>
  <em>Won't stop climbing</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'Cause this is our time, yeah</em>
  <br/>
  <em>When all the days felt black and white</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Those were the best shades of my life</em>
</p><p>Luke hit the note more than perfectly, and Julie was no longer able to stop herself from cheering them up with pure joy. They all took a gander at her, unconsciously adding more emotion and vivacity to the song. The chorus went down smoothly, but it was solid. The greatness and the potential could be felt by everyone in the room. They were going places. She allowed herself to think of her mom for a few seconds, and wished she could be sharing this with her.</p><p>
  <em>We ain't searching for tomorrow (tomorrow)</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'Cause we got all we need today (today)</em>
</p><p>When Alex and Reggie added their parts to the song the week before, she wasn't sure about it, but she had immediately regretted her insecurities as soon as they opened their mouths. She knew Reggie was very in touch with his artistic side, so it wasn't that much of a surprise. But Alex? The drummer? She had lost her mind, and immediately complimented both of them as soon as their part was over. Luke complained, asking how come she had never complimented his singing. The memory made her laugh.</p><p>
  <em>Living on a feeling that's been running through our veins</em>
  <br/>
  <em>We're the revolution that's been singing in the rain</em>
</p><p>As soon as Reggie finished his part, Julie shouted one more time (earning a couple of stares), joining them with clapping, and so did everyone at the club. Luke then did a fancy guitar flip, and all Julie's mind could formulate was "showoff", but she couldn't get rid of the smiles and the shouting. Her boys were incredibly talented and-</p><p>Wait-</p><p>
  <em>My boys?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And even if we hit the ground</em>
  <br/>
  <em>We'll still fly</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Keep dreaming like we'll live forever</em>
  <br/>
  <em>But live it like it's now or never</em>
  <br/>
  <em>It's now or never (now or never)</em>
</p><p>The song was now over and the place was filled with loud cheering and shouting for Midnight Madness. They let their instruments down and bowed to the public. Before coming off stage, Reggie approached a mic and said hastily "We're Midnight Madness, tell your friends!". He winked at Julie, and they all laughed as the guys pulled Reggie off the small platform.</p><p>They soon found his way into Julie's embrace, who was already expecting them with her arms wide open. They were sweaty, but she seemed to ignore it. She hugged the boys with so much power and happiness, noticing how weeks ago she thought she had none of those left.</p><p>After a couple of seconds, Reggie commented something about wanting to pee, and they all laughed pulling away, perceiving how their embrace had lasted more than expected. If Julie had doubts before, they had all disappeared the moment she saw them on stage. She knew for sure their future screamed music, and she couldn't wait to see it.</p><p>When she got home later that evening, she couldn't help but think those three chaotic guys were bringing some part of her soul back, and you know what? It felt good. It felt like going back home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Soooooooo I hope you don't hate the name??? It was actually one of the options before they came up with Sunset Curve for the show, my own lil wink. I mean, a pop-punk band called Midnight Madness? It would've been so powerful istg<br/>Also!!<br/>Spanish classes with your latinx host?<br/>Malandro and ratero are both words to describe a thief/criminal.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Haven't felt this in a minute</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A bit of a filler but also not because progress??<br/>Julie's letting the music go back to her<br/>ANd Luke and Reggie are kinda gay but tell me something I don't know<br/>I like to think of their dynamic as smth similar to Alex and Miles from Arctic Monkeys or Brendon and Dallon <br/>but way more family friendly jfc HAHA (for now :v)<br/>They know they're hot together and those bastards take advantage of it I know it</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Honestly, you guys are gonna kill me<br/>Almost 1.6k hits? I might as well throw a party</p><p> </p><p>by myself because Ms. Rona ain't goin anywhere</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was not a surprise for anyone to realize at first sight that Alex was the braincell of the band. Even if all his thinking came from an undesired place of his mind, one couldn't deny the guys would be dead without him. Still, logic wasn't always in the repertoire and the three boys together were still potentially dangerous if left alone.</p><p>Things changed when Julie came around, once she assumed the rightful mom role she was so familiarized with. Not putting themselves out there was their first mistake after creating the band, meaning they needed social media if they wanted to actually be recognized.</p><p>As soon she got home that Saturday, she created an Instagram and Twitter account for the boys. She apologized a million times for overstepping and changing their name so drastically, but they were amazingly okay about it, talking non stop about her creativity and thanking her for her promptness. </p><p>"I'm the main songwriter in this band and I would've never come up with something as cool as that" Luke had claimed more than three times, each time making her roll her eyes. Specially, they couldn't stop thanking her for having their backs at the club, for defending them and literally saving the band's honor, and something that deeply scared Julie, was the fact that she would do it 1000th more times.</p><p> She knew Reggie was someone worth giving your life for, he was genuinely the nicest human being she had ever met, but now she had added two more people to that list and she was terrified. Terrified of being vulnerable, of sharing too much, of feeling too much. She hadn't been this close to someone in two years, when she decided to toss all of her friendships away. She had decided to go down by herself and never go back to the surface, because she thought there was nothing left for her. </p><p>But here she was, enjoying every second she spent with the guys, every day using brighter and more cheerful colors, feeling braver than ever. She had been thinking of music so much in the last couple of days and how fast everything had been with the guys, so easy. She was happy, but for some reason she didn't want to admit, she kept thinking it was too good to be true. Why did she feel so guilty about going back to normal?</p><p>(...)</p><p>It had probably three weeks after their gig and Midnight Madness, with their follower count going up on Instagram and Twitter, was ready to find another place to play at. Julie wasn't exactly an expert with social media, but she was definitely better at it than any of the boys, who seemed lost when it came to activities like "promoting" or "making content". Their brains only understood music, and Julie found it adorable, more than annoying.</p><p>"We should upload a video of you guys rehearsing" she mentioned one afternoon, as she secretly scrolled down the new Sunset Curve account, with more than 2k followers. </p><p>"But we're still working on our next song" Luke added, still insecure about sharing his lyrics to the world. He tried to hide it, but Julie knew the stolen notebook had taken a big toll on him.</p><p>"It doesn't have to be an original, y'know? We could cover something" Reggie let down his bass, taking a seat next to Julie. She quickly turned off her screen, not letting the boy know where she was getting her ideas from.</p><p>"Exactly, maybe it could be from a band you guys love" She didn't have much knowledge on what bands had inspired them to play, but she could name a few that came to mind.</p><p>"Sometimes we harmonize before playing, do people like that?" Alex held his drumsticks in the air, ready to play something catchy.</p><p>"Alex, you're three cute gifted teenagers in a freaking band. People will like anything we upload." Julie saw him look down and blush, and they both giggled under their breath a bit.</p><p>"Awww, you think we're cute?" teased Reggie, elbowing her gently. It was now her turn to blush as the boys laughed and joked around. "Actually, I think I got it, and we've played it before." Everyone kept quiet, so he continued. "Everybody Talks by Neon Trees" a complicit look between the boys surfaced and Julie's curiosity peaked in seconds. </p><p>"Reg, we'll kill them" Luke joked, but Julie had never seen so much determination in his gaze. Julie just looked at them, now confused. </p><p>"Who cares? We'll definitely get more followers!" He assured with a wide grin spread across his face. </p><p>"Ok but before showing her, I need water" Alex stood up from his small bench and ran to the door. Reggie agreed and followed his friend, already singing the lyrics from the top of his lungs.</p><p>Luke smiled softly at Julie before pointing at the door and muttering "I just want air". Julie laughed while she watched the boy leave, then somehow feeling her heart growing bigger per second when she saw Reggie's keyboard a couple of steps away from her. A wild thought wandered around her mind, and a nervous shiver ran through her body as she came into the realization she had the room for herself. </p><p>She knew the song, it had been one of Reggie's favorites for a couple of years now, and she had naturally learned the chords back in the day. The memory burned her fingers with intensity, as her feet took her closer to the piano. The case was off, the cable already plugged in. All she needed to do was place her fingers and play, but once again, she froze. </p><p>Although her brain had ceased to function the moment she placed her hands on the keys, she knew it felt different than her other attempts. Her fingers tingled as she pressed them against the cold dusty tiles, and the sweet melody coming from it startled her, but she kept going. It was painfully slow, hell, even sloppy, having lost her touch after almost two years, but as the chords reached the chorus, her hands started moving faster and trouble free.</p><p>When the second verse came in, bravery took over her heart, and she opened her mouth to sing. It was a bit thick, bit low, and a bit messy all at once, but it was her voice.</p><p>A few tears were spilled, and she found herself laughing, as she was crying to a song about a guy who everyone thought was gay. She didn't repair to notice the way she progressively raised her voice, or the fact that the three boys were now pilled up against the door, stupefied by her voice, wondering if they had ever heard something as beautiful as that. Soon, she was over, and the guys heard a muffled laughter through the basement closed door, along with sniffling and soft sobbing. </p><p>They looked at each other, astounded, knowing they were going to need a couple of minutes (maybe even days) to process the event. Luke mindlessly attempted to grab the doorknob and go inside, but Reggie, surprisingly thinking things through, stopped him midway, knowing this was a very important step for Julie, and she was the one that actually needed time processing. </p><p>They went back inside about 15 minutes later, doing their best to act chill. They found her back in her seat, with a smile on her face that wasn't quite there, but could be soon. The guys eyed each other knowingly, and picked up their instruments before saying something out of place.</p><p>They started playing, not without warning Julie first about the 'lack of heterosexuality' the song required in order to be played. She just nodded, still lost in her own thoughts, and took out her phone, ready to record the guys. Boy, she should've listened to them. </p><p>The boys harmonized together as the sung began, and Alex cleared up his throat just like in the song, making Julie laugh and almost ruining the video. </p><p>
  <em>Hey baby won't you look my way</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can be your new addiction</em>
</p><p>Julie watched Reggie transform into a confident, hot teenage boy who seemed to have the world at his feet. She did a huge effort not to drop her phone, and smiled instead, trying to keep her excitement at bay, but what she didn't know, was that best was yet to come. </p><p>
  <em>Hey baby what you gotta say</em>
  <br/>
  <em>All you're giving me is friction</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I found out that everybody talks</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Everybody talks, everybody talks</em>
</p><p>Turns out Luke and Reggie had a little show set up, being very passionate about the story behind the song, and kept flirting obnoxiously throughout the whole thing. Alex thought it was unnecessary, but Julie knew better. She could see it already, the fandom and the fanpages shipping those two. Damn, she was really thinking of becoming their manager. </p><p>
  <em>It started with a whisper</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And that was when I kissed her</em>
</p><p>Reggie's growl took Julie by surprise, and even made her lose her balance. They boys managed to laugh it off while singing, and she just kept looking at Reggie, her chatty, crazy and insecure best friend, who was now a confident, flirtatious rockstar, ready to break some hearts. She smiled at the thought.</p><p>
  <em>And then she made my lips hurt</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I could hear the chitchat</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Take me to your love shack</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Mamas always gotta back track</em>
  <br/>
  <em>When everybody talks, babe</em>
</p><p>Reggie observed Julie's beam growing bigger and bigger as they kept singing, and perhaps he saw a bit of pride tingling in her eyes. His heart warmed up as he carried the sassyness of the song on his shoulders. He returned the smile, and enjoyed every second of his small performance.</p><p>
  <em>Never thought I'd live </em>
  <br/>
  <em>To see the day</em>
  <br/>
  <em>When everybody's words got in the way</em>
</p><p>Every now and then, Luke and him would find each other's mics to harmonize together or lean on their backs to put on a show, but even above all the noise from their instruments, their singing, and their muffled chuckles, a sweet, soft and angelical sound could be heard in the room, apart from all the chaos of their hectic performance.</p><p>Julie's humming.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you've made it this far I wanna thank you for everything! <br/>Let me know if you're liking the story or if you have any feedback c:</p><p>(edit) P.S. how on earth do you insert an image on this website help</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. In times that I doubted myself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Julie is slowly gaining some confidence but still has second thoughts about pretty much everything?<br/>Poor girl we're here for you.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>EXCUSE ME 1940 HITS ARE YOU KIDDIING? THANK YOU SO MUUUUCH<br/>I'm literally throwing a party, it's decided</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mr. Thompson had been trying non-stop to explain the difference between linear and exponential functions for around two hours now, which meant Julie had basically been sleeping for two hours. "Didn't we cover this last year?" Everyone kept asking, but she didn't mind. </p><p>She had been playing her own keyboard at night, carefully sneaking into the studio till 3am, and letting her creativity flow for about two weeks now, which means her sleeping schedule was, how to put it? Majorly fucked up. It was basically her little secret since she didn't have the guts to tell the boys, or again, her dad. </p><p>She hadn't actually gathered the courage to play her mom's grand piano and sing Wake Up, but she knew she'd get there, right? At first, she'd felt a little disappointed at herself for not making it her first song. She'd figured it'd be some big, life-changing moment, and she couldn't help but think her mom would be disappointed for it as well, but Rose wasn't like that. Julie knew better and tried to toss away the thought.</p><p>The bell rang in the small classroom, indicating the classes were over for the day. Julie yawned loudly on her desk, stretching lazily and earning a couple of looks from her classmates. Not that she cared, the only thing in her mind right now was getting to the basement, to possibly show the boys her biggest achievement (Or at least she had been trying for three days now).</p><p>She went down to the basement almost tripping on her own feet, only to find an empty room. She thought of texting the boys, but the tickling sensation in her fingers was barely manageable, so she sat in front of Reggie's piano and played the song that had been inside her head the whole day. She couldn't find the strength to sing, though, sometimes it was easy, but other times it just wouldn't come to her. Baby steps, she guessed.</p><p> It was going splendidly, one could say, until she closed her eyes, allowing herself to get lost in the feeling, completely messing the melody up the exact moment Luke came into the room.</p><p>"Well that almost sounded like something" he joked, as he came closer and took a small bench to sit on the front of the piano.</p><p>"Your timing was amazingly off, I was doing just fine before you arrived" she straightened her back and tried to pull out the most confident smirk she could.</p><p>"Then I better leave, since I'm giving you so much bad luck" they both laughed, carelessly. Julie had been able to reconstruct her old bond with Reggie, but she had gained two powerful friendships in the way. </p><p>Alex was the kind of person she could both stress around, and be sarcastically annoying with. Their love for hoodies was unmatched and they had recently found out about their undying love for Taylor Swift's 1989, not that she could listen to it without crying, though. She hadn't been able to listen to anything other than the boys' music.</p><p>Luke managed to remind Julie of herself when she was still so passionate about music. From time to time, she found herself admiring his strong will to follow his dreams, even if it meant leaving behind his relationship with his own parents (She would never understand how come two parents could watch their own child find their true passion and make them walk away from it). </p><p>"I actually heard you playing from the stairs, and it sounded really good" he found himself telling the truth, maybe in hopes of giving her the strength she needed to sing like she did that week. She had every intention to thank him, but he interrupted her before she could voice out her thoughts. "Though I'm pretty sure it would be better if you sing" he stared at her, naughtily, as he stood up and went to grab his guitar. </p><p>"How would that make it better?" Julie questioned, making herself sound completely clueless when in reality she knew where the conversation was going.</p><p>"You really think I haven't heard the rumors of how amazing your voice is?" He retorted, looking at her in the eyes. She looked down, instinctively. "We weren't part of the program back then, but I'm sure everyone at school knows how much of a star you are" Julie couldn't take her eyes off the floor. Why was he saying all of those things to her? </p><p>"I'm not ready to sing in front of people" she sighed, opening up to the guy in front of her, shining with his yellow beanie. "It's been so long I even think my range changed" Julie tried laughing it off, but the concern in her voice was too evident for Luke to ignore. </p><p>"Nah, I think Julie 'wrecking ball of talent' Molina is still a freaking star, trust me" he grinned, confidently, attempting to give her some comfort.</p><p>"Wrecking ball of talent?" she repeated curious, now matching the boy's smile.</p><p>"All I'm gonna say is that your soulmate will be lucky to have the most talented singer as their 24/7 radio station, once you go back to it" he returned his look to his guitar like he was trying to avoid her gaze. She blushed inevitably at the compliment, but at the same time thought of his small argument with the boys about soulmates. She'd figure it out later.</p><p>"I wouldn't be so sure about that" she mumbled low enough to not be heard, but unfortunately for Julie, Luke had a very 'refined' hearing, as he'd like to call it. He glanced back instantly, with a confused look, as he came to sit down on the bench one more time.</p><p>"Wait, what do you mean?" Silence took over the conversation as Julie tried to come up with the shortest reply to his question. "Oh my god, are they dead?" Luke whispered as he came closer to Julie like he was revealing a government secret.</p><p>"N-not exactly" she fidgeted with her own fingers as she kept glaring at the floor. She took a deep breath. Here goes nothing, she thought. "The day I turned 15 I wasn't exactly in the best place-" she stopped, a lump in the throat making her clear her voice as the memories flashed through her mind. </p><p>"They were singing so loud, I can't even remember what it was, and I just wanted silence" she started pacing around the room nervously "So I shut my eyes so hard it hurt for like a week, and I remember thinking <em>please make it stop</em> over and over again, until-" she finally found the courage to stare at Luke, who was quite literally at the edge of his seat, and found his eyes wide open. "Until it stopped, and I haven't heard anything ever since"</p><p>Luke deflated, trying his best to not lose the balance in the little bench. He was now quiet, eyes still fixated on Julie, and with his heart on his throat. Every time he learned something new about the girl in front of him, he was left speechless, which was a lot coming from a guy who breathed, ate, and lived out of writing songs. He was never out of words, but when it came to her, the dictionary in his brain would erase itself and forget where all the backups were. </p><p>"So you're saying that" he started, not very confident of getting every detail right "th-that you can't listen to each other?" Julie walked back slowly to the piano, the question haunting every single one of her thoughts. </p><p>"I have no idea" she smiled, finding his eyes, but there was only sadness in the curve of her lips. Luke's heart shrunk. "I can't hear them, for sure, but I don't know if they can hear me, not that I've given them much to listen to lately anyway" they both giggled at the comment, finding a quick way out of the awkwardness of the conversation. </p><p>Before any of them could say something else, the door of the room was open abruptly, scaring both Luke and Julie as they stared at the other two members of Midnight Madness. The grin on their faces was incomparable.</p><p>"We just received a call from Dylan, woah-" Reggie basically screamed, completely out of air, as he placed his hand on his knees and leaned forward to catch his breath, panting loudly and forgetting he was in the middle of a sentence. Julie and Luke focused on Alex, expectantly.</p><p>"He asked us if we could play again this weekend!" Alex managed with his voice higher than anything Julie had ever heard before. </p><p>Luke stood up before he even finished the sentence, reuniting with his boys and dancing clumsily to celebrate their new gig. Julie observed from the distance, smiling and feeling insanely proud of them. She knew they were unstoppable. </p><p>"Hey! Hey!" Reggie caught their attention, all of the sudden, looking quite recovered. "I think I have an idea for a song" Alex immediately cheered up, clapping the boy's back, but Luke just grabbed him by the shoulders and made him look at him. </p><p>"Tell me it isn't country" he warned, with a wary look in his eyes, but Reggie didn't respond. He was too busy, smiling so fondly and so hard Julie could clearly see the shine in his eyes. She couldn't help but laugh, because he had that look of whenever he came up with an idea that would change the course of history, and she loved it.</p><p>(...) </p><p>
  <em>Here I am, 12AM</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Sunken deep into my bed</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Kept alive by the light of the moon</em>
</p><p>Reggie sang smoothly against the mic, closing his eyes and allowing the music to move every single fiber of his body, as they practiced the song one last time before their gig the day after. Luke played next to him, introducing a cool riff he had came up with during the writing process. At first, Reggie hadn't really thought about including a bass-line into the song, but everyone protested, even Julie. It was slowly added in the rehearsals and it definitely gave the song more of the band's vibe. </p><p>
  <em>Close my eyes, but my mind's got its own plan tonight</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And it keeps rubbing salt in the wound</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I know it's too late</em>
  <br/>
  <em>As night turns to day</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Now there's no escaping the ghost</em>
</p><p>Midnight Thoughts was written in almost two afternoons by all three members of the band. Julie gave ideas in the beginning, trying to assess them the best way she could. (Luke wouldn't shut up about the fact that she was a great songwriter, but she kept insisting saying she was no songwriter. In her mind, her mom was, not her.) </p><p>They took some of her advice, and never questioned anything she suggested, but she realized soon enough they were writing from a different perspective, a different kind of pain, so she slowly backed off, understanding this was sort of a personal project.</p><p>
  <em>I can't shake these midnight thoughts when I'm alone</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Latching to my brain and never letting go</em>
  <br/>
  <em>So I'll start making friends with the noise in my head</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And all these midnight thoughts when I'm alone</em>
</p><p>The name was definitely an accident. Luke was brilliant when it came to songs, but not even his writing ingenuity could have predicted they were going to end up dropping Easter eggs of the band's name into their new tune. </p><p>Even though the song was amazing on its own, Julie was concerned about two things. One, the lyrics were definitely giving away a lot about the boys' lives, and she was beyond worried, especially because she didn't know how to help. She had only spent about two months with them, and she didn't feel _that_ close to them, yet. </p><p>Two, less worrying than the first one, there was <em>something</em> missing. She couldn't pinpoint what it was, or what she could possibly suggest to fix it, so she just kept it quiet. What she didn't see coming, though, was the fact that the guys had already taken care of the problem, and she was part of the solution.</p><p>(...)</p><p>"Wait, you want me to what?!" An unknown band was performing a lousy cover of Jesus of Suburbia, tiring everyone around the club. They all tried to give them a shot at first, but they couldn't lie. They were terrible.</p><p>Saturday night came faster than expected and the boys' new song was ready to 'knock everyone's pants off', as Reggie kept saying. The lights, characteristically dim, were not enough to hide Julie's staggered expression. They were asking her to sing, in front of a crowd. "If you can even call this smelly bar a crowd, Juliana" her subconscious attacked.</p><p>"You already know the lyrics!" Reggie screamed into her ear, trying to beat the loud, messy sound of the Green Day's poor rendition. </p><p>It wasn't very hard to convince Julie to join them at the bar this time since they already knew how much she loved to watch them perform. Although she had put a bit of resistance at first, when she noticed they were <em>clearly</em> keeping something to themselves, she decided to ignore it, and enjoy her night. Why didn't she listen to her guts?</p><p>"Reg, I can't sing on stage <em>for shit</em>" she pointed at it, exasperated. The boys were surrounding her, probably thinking she would run away any second. "I may know the lyrics but I don't know your arrang-" Reggie took a piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to Julie, and she could only guess it contained the new changes for the song. She shook her head energetically and checked her phone. 10:15pm. They were playing next.</p><p>"Nope, no, I'm not doing this" and just when she had started to back off, she felt two pairs of hands literally holding her back. Alex, Luke, and Reggie knew they needed her for the song to be a complete success, they weren't giving up. </p><p>Levi grinned from the distance at the whole situation, having decided it was about time to come see Alex perform in his "little band", as he'd like to call it. The guys didn't like it, but there wasn't much they could do. Alex, however, tried acting cool for most of the night, but deep inside he was a huge ball of nerves; it was the first time Levi was gonna see him on stage.</p><p>"I may have an idea" Luke reached her shoulder, making her turn on her feet. Her eyes were full of fear, he noticed, so he tried to remain calm for her. "Why don't you grab a mic and sing somewhere they can't see you?" His eyes were shining, probably with pride for his outstanding idea. Julie thought differently. </p><p>"What if I stop breathing instead?! That sounds more fun!" Once again, she tried turning around and walking away, but the guys managed to keep her there.</p><p>"Listen" Alex joined the conversation, looking at her straight in the eyes "I know it sounds scary but we could really use your help right now" she stared at the floor, thinking of all the reasons why she had lost interest in singing for an audience. "But we won't force you, tho. It's your choice" he stated, even though he knew his two bandmates didn't agree. </p><p>Her hands were numb, tears were already gathering in her eyes, and she cursed at herself for being so weak. "She won't be there" her subconscious kept telling her "what's the point if she's not here?". Her chest was burning up and no amount of Vaporub would make the sensation go away. For the guys, it only lasted seconds, but inside of her, hours and hours of battling and overthinking went by. </p><p>She knew she needed music back into her life. She craved it, it called her, but she was <em>scared</em>. Scared of music feeling different once she went back to it, scared of not finding any meaning behind lyrics or chords because the only person that gave meaning to music was now gone.</p><p>"But haven't you felt alive?" some part of her, dormant, whispered. "Haven't you felt the elevated beat of your heart when you play? When you sing? You can do this". Later she'd realize the voice sounded just like her mom's, the smoothness and the sweetness of her tone were there. Now, in the present, she had no time to think about it.</p><p>She turned to Reggie, full of determination, and grabbed the piece of paper that he still held in his hands.</p><p>"The hell with it" she barked between her teeth and walked towards their table to sit down and study the new arrangements the band had added, looking as angry as her nerves allowed her to. She had a badass reputation to uphold, ok? </p><p>
  <em>Like they hadn't seen you crying a thousand times already.</em>
</p><p>Levi scooted to the other side of the table, giving her some space and attempting to fist-bump her. His smile was bright and his red curls were shining even though there was barely any light. She rejected him and kept staring at the piece of paper. On the corner of her eye, she saw Luke glaring at the boy intensely, but she didn't dwell on it.</p><p>She pretended to not notice, but the band was clearly celebrating her change of heart, and somewhere inside of her, she was as well.</p><p>Alex and Luke didn't like to admit it, afraid of giving Reggie too much praise, but he was always right, one way or another, and his ideas were somehow genius. This time was no exception. There were no instrumental changes in the song, they were all vocals, and they were all screaming for Julie's name.</p><p>Just like Luke suggested, she sang hidden behind a curtain, belting the notes like she was born to do it, harmonizing with the guys every now and then, and adding flourishes Reggie hadn't even thought of, which let the guys know she was definitely owning the song. The crowd ate it. </p><p>There were no signs of the new "Sunset Curve" that night, so Midnight Madness was able to enjoy their performance, feeling like legends already, and with a small idea growing in the back of their heads, spreading like a wildfire.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Did I just take one of my favorite Set It Off songs and say "it's free real estate"? Yes, yes I did.</p><p>Songs referenced in this chapter!!:<br/>- I think the song Julie was playing before Luke walked in was "Almost Is Never Enough" by Ariana Grande. It's simple and beautiful and she'd kill it, fight me.<br/>- Midnight Thoughts by Set It Off, and yes, Reggie sings this one because he has to. Periodt.</p><p>ALso what idea do you think the band has in mind? O.ó</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Together, I think that we can make it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Our Julie has to make a decision and I'm pretty sure we all know what she's gonna say<br/>Luke is a literal kid.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>dude the number of hits keeps going up and I cannot believe it ok if I wasn't drowned in homework, I'd be drown in smirnoff celebrating</p><p>Chapter song: Love Story - Taylor Swift, only because Julie mentions Romeo and Juliet and I couldn't stop thinking about it afterward.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Alex, stop moving!" Luke had seen the guy going from one side of the basement to the other for 15 minutes now, making him nervous, something that normally didn't happen. They had been trying to practice for an hour now, but the absence of their curly-haired friend was too big to go unnoticed.</p><p>Even though last week's presentation at The Mint had been a success, Julie had been weirdly absent from their afternoon gatherings. At first, they thought it was normal, given the fact that she had been awfully stressed about her school work, but then it became the same lie every day. </p><p>"Dude we totally freaked her out! She'll never want to hang out with us again!" He grabbed the bridge of his nose, like he always did, and kept walking around. </p><p>"Alex, she's fine! I bet" Reggie was sitting in what seemed a very uncomfortable position as he ate a bag of chips, and just sighed, not really knowing if there was any veracity in his words. Was she really ok?</p><p>"I told you we had to ask her to join the band after the presentation" Luke scoffed while standing up and walking towards Alex to stop him on his tracks. "Seriously, stop. You're making me dizzy"</p><p>"Don't you guys ever listen to what I have to say?" Alex got rid of Luke's hands, which were laying on his shoulders until seconds before. He looked at both of his friends, who kept looking at each other cluelessly "She'll say no! She's obviously overwhelmed with all of this!" He waved his hand in front of him, not really motioning at something in particular.</p><p>"You don't know that!" Reggie managed with a mouthful of chips. Luke only laughed and shook his head. </p><p>"If I were her, I know what my answer would be" Alex finalized his anxious walk, sitting down in front of drums, willing to leave the topic behind them.</p><p>"But you're not her, right? You don't know what she'll say!" Luke's voice got a bit loud, caught up in the heat of the moment, and immediately saw Reggie flinching in the corner of his eye. "Sorry" he murmured towards him, but he just nodded thoughtlessly, already inside his head. </p><p>"We won't ask her until she comes back, ok?" Alex grabbed his drumsticks and made them spin in that funny way Luke was so fond of. "And we <em>won't</em> ambush her about it" this time, he pointed at him, knowing best than anyone Lucas Patterson was the most stubborn human being Earth had the misery to bear.<br/> <br/>Luke used his left index to mark a small x over his heart, just like a little kid, promising Alex he would be patient. But Luke was Luke, and he had also crossed his fingers behind his back, fully aware of how childish he was acting, but also painfully conscious of the fact that the band needed Julie, more than she ever thought they would.</p><p>(...)</p><p>Lying to the guys would've been much easier if she actually had schoolwork to do, but the week following their gig was surprisingly calm. She hated the peace now, she had gotten so used to the guys' chaotic and warm energy, and she couldn't stop herself from loving it. </p><p>After the presentation on Saturday, she tried her best to not walk away, she tried to stay around while ignoring the little voices inside her head telling her she was making a huge mistake, but she wasn't strong enough. For the first time in over a year, she had felt <em>something</em>.<br/>She wasn't just existing, when she was on that stage, she was living her best life, or at least the best she'd had in such a long time. But she walked away. </p><p>The unbearable memory of her mother would torment her more times than she'd like to share, constantly reminding her that the one person who had introduced her to the breathtaking world of music, was no longer around to share it with her. The guilt she had felt dissipating days before was coming back with every single one of the insecurities she had locked away when everything went down, and it was nerve-racking. </p><p>The world was no longer an enjoyable place to make music if her mother wasn't around to listen to it, it didn't make sense. She knew her dad, Carlos, Reggie, and pretty much everyone around her would've snapped if she had ever dared to pronounce those words, but she couldn't take the thought out of her head. </p><p>It was Friday night and she was back into the unnerving calmness of her home life. It sucked. Her dad had teased many times during dinner about having parties this weekend, to which she responded "There will be no more parties", along with a smile that screamed for no more questions. Her dad got it, and immediately realized something was wrong, but with Victoria and Carlos on the table with them, he knew he couldn't address the issue right away.</p><p>She went to her room straight after she finished her meal, and locked herself up to not leave until morning, getting herself ready to spend the rest of the evening either reading, doing her homework, or probably just daydreaming, like she usually did. </p><p>It was around 11pm when Julie heard banging against her window, and she thought of rain for a few instants, except it was the end of March. There was no such thing as raining by the end of March, not in LA. The banging became louder and the speed increased, encouraging Julie to take a look outside, only to find Luke Patterson throwing tiny rocks at her window. She opened it, feeling something she didn't know how to describe (probably between rage and excitement).</p><p>"What on Earth are you doing here?!" She attempted to whisper and sound angry, but she couldn't help to let escape a small-sided smile, once he saw the guy on the first floor, beaming at her with all his strength.</p><p>"Oh come on" he commented softly with a smirk. "Aren't you happy to see me?"</p><p>"I would be if it wasn't almost midnight!" She really wanted to yell at him, but it was precisely the time that was stopping her. The last thing she needed now was her dad coming to find her playing Romeo and Juliet with some random dude he had never seen. </p><p>"Well, can I go up?" His smile never faltered, always looking at Julie directly in the eyes and wearing all his confidence on his sleeves. </p><p>"What? No! Go back home" she didn't want him to, though. Something about the fact that he had come all this way had crawled under her skin and made a shiver run down her spine, regardless of his reasons.</p><p>"It's not like we have class tomorrow, y'know?" Julie cursed to the air, not being able to find an excuse soon enough to get rid of him. But again, she didn't want to.</p><p>"Whatever, just go home!" She whispered leaning a bit towards her window, hoping her 'angered' expression and her words were enough to make the boy leave, but Luke didn't take no's for an answer.</p><p>"I guess I'll just have to knock on your door" he muttered loud enough while walking away slowly. It took everything inside of Julie to not scream or jump after him to make him stop. He was doing it on purpose, she had to calm down.</p><p>"Luke, stop!" She managed, with shaky hands grabbing the window frame like a lifeline. He stopped walking and turned on his feet only to reveal a wicked grin. "Just give me a second, ok?" He walked back, swinging gleefully on his feet. </p><p>"Don't you have a staircase or something?" he leaned against the wall, making them tilt their heads due to the weird angle.</p><p>"In case you haven't noticed, my room isn't a damn warehouse" Julie huffed, thinking of how to get Luke into her room without waking up anyone.</p><p>"You don't have to be so rude, Julie" the most adorable pout adorned his face, which seemed to shine even though the night was more cloudy than ever. </p><p>Julie looked around her room, already feeling on edge when suddenly the sheets on her open closet caught her eye. "My dad's gonna kill me," a voice told her, but she dismissed it right away. She took out all the sheets she could find and laid them all in her bed, tying them together to create some sort of rope. </p><p>"I think I have something" she ran to the window and whispered to Luke, who was casually sitting against the wall. He just limited to nod energetically and give her another warm smile.</p><p>Once she was done trying them, she tied them to one of her bed's legs, hoping and praying it would be enough to hold the 17-year-old already-kind-of-buff body. She took the long line of sheets and threw them outside, landing on Luke's head.</p><p>"Is this supposed to be a joke?" He asked with a confused, and evidently scared smile on his face. </p><p>"You wanted to go up, right?" It was Julie's turn to smile now, as he watched the boy down there losing all the color in his face. </p><p>"This isn't freaking Tangled, Julie!" he urged, grabbing the improvised rope and attempting to throw it back up.</p><p>"Come on! Didn't you ever climb the rope on P.E class to touch the bell or something?" She wanted to laugh so bad, but she remained as calm as possible, only allowing a naughty grin to accompany her face.</p><p>"The rope was actually attached to the ceiling!" The conversation had begun to get louder and louder, but none of them seemed to have noticed, being wrapped up in the emotion of the moment. </p><p>"Don't be such a baby and-" steps were heard from his dad's room, walking through the hallway and going to her room. She froze, not really knowing what to do. "Shut up, pretend you're dead" she muttered to Luke while listening to Ray knocking on her door. She ran in circles, trying to cool down her nerves and her very evident blushing. "One minute!" She yelled, catching the rope and attempting to hide it all under her bed. "Come in" she was now leaning on her window, looking at the stars like she had been doing so for hours now. Luke was hidden behind some bushes, but still close enough to listen.</p><p>"Heeyyy, all good?" He approached her, surrounding her shoulder with his arm and he joined her looking at the sky.</p><p>"Sure, why?" Her voice was abnormally pitchy, giving away immediately something was going on. </p><p>"Nada, mija. Just came in to say goodnight" he replied, being careful at not giving away his actual worries. </p><p>"Oh" she hugged him vaguely, with her thoughts in the boy hiding in the backyard "Goodnight, papi" </p><p>He started walking away to the door, hesitant of every step, while Julie stilled in front of the window, not really knowing how to move or where to look to not seems suspicious. Ray stopped right at the door.</p><p>"Are you sure everything's fine? I heard you talking to yourself" he finally admitted, releasing some, but not all of the tension on his shoulders. Julie's cheeks burned under her dad's stare as she giggled nervously, trying to come up with an answer.</p><p>"Oh, yeah I do that sometimes" she waved her hand mindlessly, </p><p>"Right, so all good?" He gave her a thumbs-up, while also matching her nervous giggles. Having a teenage daughter was so much harder than he thought. </p><p>"All good!" She smiled, not very confident of the tone of her answer. Her dad, unfortunately, was able to read most, if not all of her emotions, so he quickly found himself in front of her one more time, enclosing her in a hug.</p><p>"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He soothed, thinking he had brought peace to her little girl with his words when in reality, they'd had the opposite effect. A huge lump had now positioned in her throat, not allowing her to breathe, and filling her eyes with tears. She shivered under her dad's embrace, so he held her tighter. She didn't even know why the fuck she was crying!</p><p>"You know, your mom used to do that too" he added, given that Julie had made no efforts to end the silent spell they were under. She pulled back, red-eyed.</p><p>"Really?" She tried to mutter, but it resulted in a messy, loud, and raspy mix.</p><p>"Yeah" her dad seemed to laugh at the memory. He was now looking at the sky, maybe visualizing the image of his late wife. "She would walk around the studio, almost like giving a Ted Talk"</p><p>"And what would she say?" Julie's eyes gleamed with interest. She loved to learn new things about her mom, she felt so much closer to her.</p><p>"Mostly songs, she liked to voice them like a poem to see if it sounded right" Julie's beamed brighter, if it was even possible, closing her eyes and cackling harshly through the tears.</p><p>"We used to do that together" she managed, her voice already going back to normal, or that's what she told herself<br/>"All the time" this time, she uttered, under her breath, mostly to herself. </p><p>"Well that seems like a very nice memory, mija" he gave her one last hug, and kissed her forehead, this time walking toward the door, willing to leave the room. "Julie?" He called, standing at the door "Despite whatever you might think, we all miss mom a lot" he left, finally, closing the door behind. Julie sprinted across the room to lock it down and proceeded to lean carefully against the door, feeling drained from the conversation that had taken place seconds before. <br/> <br/>She wiped away her tears, sourly pushing away the memories she had tried to repress for so long when Luke suddenly appeared in her thoughts. "Shit, is he still there?" </p><p>Julie went back to the window, expecting to find nothing but darkness and plants, but it was very much a surprise for her to find him there, patiently waiting in silence. She pulled out the sheets rope from under her bed and tossed it back to Luke, who by the way, climbed it without questioning or complaints. Julie helped him by holding it tightly and pulling from it until he was safe and sound on the floor of her bedroom. </p><p>Once Luke was there and they got rid of the sheets by tossing them inside of her closet, Julie finally sat down next to her bed, on the cold floor, bending up her knees and hiding her face between her hands. Luke only watched, not knowing what to do. He was awfully aware of his inexperience when it came to comforting people when crying, but that didn't stop him from sitting down next to the girl and putting his hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles. It works with Alex, his mind fought. </p><p>She finally looked up at him, with eyes no longer full of tears, but still with a very evident trace of sadness that stabbed Luke in the heart as he realized the depth of the situation.</p><p>"We don't have to talk about it" he muttered, removing his hand off her back and missing the feeling of her warmth afterward. She didn't immediately dwell on it but she missed it too. </p><p>"It's alright, I guess you heard everything" her voice was low, lacking any strength it had ever possessed. Luke shivered next to her even though he wasn't cold, was this the glowy Julie Molina he had hanging out with for weeks now? </p><p>"Yeah, sorry about that" the conversation still echoed inside his head, as he pieced all the details and bits of information he had gathered over the weeks, but only managing to make him feel terrible now that he knew the truth behind her gloomy personality. </p><p>"It's fine, really. I guess Reggie told you about it" she brushed it off, maybe as a coping mechanism, maybe because it was easier to believe someone had done the job for her.</p><p>"Actually, he was never very specific." Her eyes opened, confused. "He may have told us about something bad happening to you, but Alex and I knew it wasn't our business, so we didn't ask, and he never told us" a small smile managed to escape his lips but was quickly erased once his mind caught up on the moment again.</p><p>"That's so thoughtful of you guys, thank you" Julie smiled too, subtly. Her breathing was now back to normal and the shakiness of her hands was slowly wearing off. </p><p>"Reggie thought it wasn't his story to tell, and I knew something bad had happened but, I would've never thought of-" he stopped halfway, not really knowing how to end the sentence without bringing back a painful memory. </p><p>"Yeah" was all she was able to say, before turning her gaze to the floor. She was out of words.</p><p>"So, it's been two years?" Luke took his hand to his face and sighed, disappointed at his people skills. "I'm sorry, I-"</p><p>"It's fine, it's a valid question" she smiled shyly at Luke, who seemed to have burned all the neurons left in his brain. "Yeah, in four months it'll be two years."</p><p>The room filled with silence once again and Luke found it very hard to sit still and pretend that conversation wasn't really happening. It wasn't his thing, it had never been. He was a very proactive person, he saw a problem coming from a mile away and he would dodge it like a professional matador every single time. But there was no easy way out of this, out of grief, out of the feeling absolute despair. He was losing his mind. </p><p>"I'm so sorry for showing up like this, I can leave" he finally said, standing up and startling Julie in the process. </p><p>"No, actually" Julie looked up at him, full of hope, and Luke met her eyes in the process, and it was in that moment he realized he'd never be able to say no to her. "I could use some company right now" they both laughed softly, gaining a bit of confidence individually, as Luke extended his hand and helped Julie stand up. </p><p>"Perhaps you could tell me why you came in the first place?" Julie asked, her eyes shining with curiosity. Luke beamed at her, finally recognizing her usual self through the teary eyes.</p><p>"I'm not sure you wanna talk about that now," he said, sitting at the edge of Julie's bed with confidence, almost like he knew the place. She followed him and sat next to him, knees touching.</p><p>"Try me" she joked, feeling a bit more like herself. Luke only laughed, scratching the back of his neck and reaching the phone in his back pocket. </p><p>He started a video call with two different people, and Julie could only guess he was calling Alex and Reggie. It was already midnight, and Julie was starting to think the guys were already asleep, but what she didn't know was that the name of the band was fitting in more ways than she knew. </p><p>Reggie's image appeared, and he seemed to be laying down on a blanket, and Julie was able to recognize the sand around him. He was outside his old house at the beach. Alex answered, at last, showing a dark room with a sleepy face, holding a bottle of water. </p><p>"I hope you have a good reason for messing up with my sleeping schedule, Patterson" Alex snapped, chugging from his bottle. Luke laughed softly, aware of the hour.</p><p>"Alex, I know you're probably watching Voltron for the 10th time this week" the boy pouted through the screen, and Julie giggled softly. Suddenly, Reggie and Alex realized Luke wasn't in his room, and he wasn't alone.</p><p>"Dude, is that Julie's room?" Reggie whispered, switching to a sitting position and coming closer to his camera. Alex groaned, pulling the blankets over his head as the secondhand embarrassment flooded his body and he caught up on what was going on.</p><p>"Luke, you promised" Alex muffled words were heard from under his weighted blanket, and Luke laughed one more time, while Reggie took his time to catch up and Julie only stared at them, confused. A habit, now.</p><p>"Hi?" Julie jumped into the conversation, waving at the camera as Luke positioned himself so both of them would be seen, unconsciously coming closer to her. Reggie waved back full of energy, making Julie smile.</p><p>"This is exactly what I told you not to do" Alex's head finally popped up from his fortress, causing giggles from the other three participants of the video call.</p><p>"I cheated, ok?!" Luke admitted, raising his voice a bit and earning a small punch in his arm from Julie. "Sorry" he muttered shyly.</p><p>"You're a child, Luke Patterson. I should've tied you up" Alex mirrored Reggie and sat down in bed, taking another sip of the water bottle next to him, and groaning loudly. "Did you ask already?" he questioned, annoyed, and he would never admit it, but also amazed at his friend's spontaneity.</p><p>"I haven't, that's why I'm calling you" Luke smiled proudly at his strategy, as Alex scoffed and placed one of his hands over his face, murmuring about invading personal space and other things they couldn't quite catch.</p><p>"Ask me what?" Julie asked, now nervous about whatever the guys were talking about. What could possibly be so important for Luke to come to her place this late?</p><p>"He probably wants to ask if you wanna join the band" Reggie blurted out, looking at the horizon and not really measuring the weight of his words. It wasn't until both Luke and Alex screamed his name (and Julie shushed them in the process) that the reality of the situation actually sank in.</p><p>"Wait, what?" she choked on her own words, as she felt all the air inside of her being knocked out of her lungs. Luke looked at her expectantly, while bouncing his leg and taking in the silence his other two bandmates were providing. </p><p>He knew Alex had a point, rational decisions and thoughts were his specialties, but Luke was hopeful, he sensed the talent in Julie and he knew she wouldn't let it go to waste. Now that he had learned the truth behind her struggle, he couldn't maintain his previous position. </p><p>He had to admit it, he was frightened. He hadn't had to chance to think of a scenario where Julie rejected their proposal, a scenario where Midnight Madness kept going without her. Even if Julie denied it or did her best to keep it at bay, her energy was too blinding to go unnoticed, and Luke knew she was meant to be a star.</p><p>Julie was simply petrified. Although she had grown rather close to the band in the last couple of weeks, it would've never run through her mind that they were planning on adding her to the group. She adored them, she couldn't help it, but joining the band? Having to perform in front of large audiences?</p><p>Besides, they were planning big things for the future! Was she really ready to have all of that pressure on her? Was music something she wanted to do for the rest of her life? She had barely kept it together at their gig the week before, her nerves taking over her before singing every note and her head creating different situations in which she ended up messing everything. </p><p>But she had to be both a fool and a liar if she didn't admit she had felt more alive than ever. Going back on stage, even behind curtains, had activated something inside of her. A new kind of fire had initiated on her chest as she heard the people on the club clapping to the band's song, as they cheered for their lyrics and their musical abilities. Music had brought her back to life. <em>They</em> had brought her back to life.</p><p>Her thoughts, inevitably, kept going back to her mom, and all the moments they both shared together because of music. Rose Molina has dedicated her life and soul to the music industry, and Julie <em>knew </em>that something deep inside of her had wanted the same for the longest time, but she never gave herself the opportunity to think about it.</p><p>
  <em>Try to turn off the sound, but I can't shut it out</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Cause I'm hearing the pulse in my veins</em>
</p><p>Her mind vaguely remembered the lines of the song they had performed last week, and a silent smile made itself present on her face, illuminating the room as the guys anxiously waited for an answer.</p><p>She didn't know where all of this was gonna take her, but she knew what she had to do.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I may or may have not been watching Tangled when I came up with this chapter.<br/>We all know which character Luke would be, and y'know what? I'mma daydream about it forever.</p><p>Referenced songs:<br/>- Midnight Thoughts - SIO (from last chapter)<br/></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. If somebody hurts you, I'm gonna get hurt too</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Julie sees something she shouldn't have and I hurt Alex a little? Just a little I swear</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I honestly have no words. Thank you so much for reading my story.<br/>Chapter song: Thin White Lies - 5 Seconds of Summer</p><p>CALM is my coping mechanism, and so is theirs.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carlos knocked on Julie's open door, finding her sister laying down on her stomach in bed, writing something down on a small piece of paper. "Hey, Walmart Grinch" he joked, throwing her the towel he casually had in his hand.</p><p>Julie jumped on her spot, realizing she was no longer alone, and threw back the towel "Yes, Dollar store Gremlin?" she looked up, sticking out her tongue. </p><p>"Dinner is ready" he yelled, putting himself in position to run, asking Julie to join him with a weird hand motion he had probably seen in an old action movie. She quickly found her way out of her bed and placed herself next to her brother, feeling 9 years old all over again. They were racing downstairs, and they had been doing so since little Carlos had learned how to run because Lord knows he learned how to run before walking.</p><p>She could think of at least 10 occasions, from the top of her head, in which their Dad had told them off for being so heedless, while Mom betted with tía Victoria who would get downstairs first. Rose Molina had always been the best partner in crime and had even joined them in a couple of races herself.</p><p>The shouted countdown reached 1, taking her out of her thoughts and making her run as fast as she could to beat Carlos, but still failing miserably. She'd have to do the dishes tonight. </p><p>Their laughter soon filled the living room as Ray Molina shook his head, thinking of how he had given up so long ago to stop his children. Not even Rose could, why would he? He kept taking the plates to the table absorbed in his thoughts when his phone started ringing on the kitchen counter. </p><p>"I'll get it, Dad" screamed Julie going inside the kitchen to grab the phone, only to find it already silenced once she got there. The plan was to take it to his dad, to have dinner in peace and just have some family time before going to bed, but a weird-looking message caught Julie's attention. </p><p>
  <strong>Grace:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Thank you for last night, I had lots of fun c:<br/></em>
</p><p>She dropped the phone as if it had burned her hand, full of shock and questions that were going to remain unanswered. She closed her eyes, every inch of her body filling with anger, and took a deep breath to keep it together. It's probably a friend from work, right? It could be that. </p><p>Carlos entered the kitchen, swinging on his feet and singing a song Julie didn't catch. He grabbed the napkins and turned his gaze into her. </p><p>"Are you summoning a demon or what?" He asked curiously, as Julie found the strength to open her eyes. </p><p>"Yeah, I even asked him to take you with him" the boy snickered, getting out of the kitchen and sitting down on the table, where her dad was tapping on the table to the same beat as the song Carlos was previously singing. </p><p>"Not tonight," her mind soothed. She took another deep breath and went to the table, expecting her subconscious to leave the subject behind forever, or at least for the night.</p><p>(...)</p><p>When Julie decided to join Midnight Madness that fateful Friday night, she had one condition and one condition only. She needed time before going back on stage completely. They discussed it for a long time, agreeing that it would be best to stop booking gigs while they got used to the change. Luke and Reggie had filled Alex in that night, with Julie's permission, about everything she was going through since she didn't feel brave enough to mutter the words herself. Luke had left a bit after 2am when he noticed Julie's yawns were more frequent and increasing every minute.</p><p>Reggie was beyond excited, confessing every now and then he had been dying to experiment with new sounds, and he knew having Julie in the band was the perfect opportunity to do so. Alex loved the idea of having her around them officially, and he wished they had similar schedules in school to spend more time with her. </p><p>Luke, just like Reggie, was so excited to see what changes the girl was gonna bring to them. He had to admit he was rather attached to their rock-punk-ish style, but he wasn't blind; he had seen glimpses of Julie's creative process (even after denying many times she wasn't a songwriter), and he already had a thousand million ideas to share with her, starting with fixing that Bright line that had been bothering him for days.</p><p>The Sunset Curve group had been long replaced with a Midnight Madness one, and a cute selfie of the four kids was now their profile picture on the band's social media, while they came up with a cool logo.</p><p> Just like Julie had predicted, their fans had <em>adored</em> the rehearsal video of Everybody Talks, but now that Julie was part of the band, they wanted something with her. She just wasn't ready.</p><p>Afternoons at the basement were warmer, and definitely more pleasant now that Julie was part of the band, but this one wasn't. They had been waiting for Alex to arrive for some time while trying to brainstorm what kind of vibe they were going for with Bright, now that they had settled on changing their style. </p><p>"With these lyrics, I don't think it'll sound much like any of our previous songs" Luke winced at Reggie's statement, bitterly remembering his songwriting journal. Julie seemed to notice and quickly redirected the conversation.</p><p>"But it's gonna be amazing anyway, we'll kill it" both Reggie and Luke nodded in agreement, the latter giving her an appreciative smile.</p><p>"Yeah, I was thinking maybe I can-" Reg was interrupted midway when they all heard the door opening. They all expected to find Alex, naturally, but they didn't expect to find him in <em>that</em> state.</p><p>He was visibly shaking, grabbing this fanny pack and basically hugging his chest in the process, like protecting himself from something. His eyes were red beyond comparison, but there were no indications of tears or previous crying. The room stilled, and it wasn't long before Luke had reached Alex's side and guided him through the instruments to sit him down, but he refused to be touched. </p><p>"Alex, what happened?" Reggie asked, soft and careful, but the question simply bounced within the walls of the room, since Alex seemed to have zero interest in replying.</p><p>"Alex?" Luke reached out his hand, in an attempt to place it on his shoulder, but before his hand got closer, Alex shook his head and backed off a little. "Can I?" He kept shaking his head, unable to find another way to communicate. </p><p>"Do you wanna talk about it?" Julie muttered faintly, hoping to not startle the boy, but he didn't seem to be there, with them. It looked like his mind had taken him somewhere they could not reach. </p><p>"Alex," Luke tried again, firmer this time, and got Alex to finally look at him in the eyes. He had been staring at a wall this whole time and the three of them were more stressed than ever. </p><p>"He lied to me" was all that came out before a sob escaped from his lips. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he wrapped his arms around Julie unexpectedly, burring his face on her neck. Both Reggie and Luke eyed each other, almost having a telepathic conversation, as Julie twisted her head and pleaded for help with her gaze. </p><p>"Who, Alex?" Julie said calmly, trying to hide every sign of concern in her voice. A name came out of his mouth, muffled from the contact of his face with Julie's neck, but short enough to be understood without making much effort. </p><p>"He-he's not-" he choked on his own words, coughing and pulling back from Julie's embrace. He had suddenly lost all ability to catch his breath and was now struggling to keep himself together. Reggie and Luke soon positioned themselves next to the guy and gently patted his back. Alex found a steady way into stabilizing his breathing, and closed his eyes, exhausted, leaning on Julie's body and placed his head on her shoulder. Even sitting down, he was way taller than her.</p><p>"Take your time," she soothed, rubbing soft circles on his back along with the boys. They knew he was going to be ok, now that he allowed them to touch him. </p><p>"Levi isn't my soulmate" it came out muffled and breathy, since Alex was still pressing his face on Julie's shoulder. She froze on her feet, along with the two boys surrounding them. </p><p>It wasn't new for them to hear stories about people who would lie about their soulmates, being so scared of spending their lives on their own, and facing the fact that they simply had no match in the entire universe. </p><p>They would always get caught, though. It wasn't easy to lie about a non-existent connection for long, but it would always take long enough for someone to get hurt. They had never seen it happen to someone close to them, and they definitely didn't expect it to happen to their Alex. He didn't deserve any of this bullshit.</p><p>"Oh, Alex" Luke whispered, closing his eyes and hugging Alex from behind. Reggie gazed at the floor, looking as betrayed as Alex and later joining the hug. They shared one brain cell and they all felt his pain. </p><p>"I just wanna disappear," Alex said in a hushed, broken voice, making everyone's heart shrink and ache. </p><p>"Alex, listen to me" Julie surprised herself by the sudden hastiness in her tone. She took a deep breath, trying to remain calm and pushing away her own anxiousness with a shaky inhale and exhale reflex she had learned in therapy. </p><p>"I know this won't make you feel any better, but I know what it feels to lose hope" the boy sobbed quietly in their arms, and she kept going, not really expecting an answer.</p><p>"You still have a chance to meet your soulmate-" the boy shook his head aggressively, scaring them and attempting to hold him before he went spiraling down. "But it doesn't have to be now, ok? You can choose to heal first, and that's fine. Just don't close yourself to doing it because it went wrong the first time, hell, that's more than I'll ever have" she chuckled nervously, getting caught by surprise with her honesty. "You'll know when you're ready, and even if you're not, we'll be here for you every step of the way" the other two guys hummed in agreement.</p><p>She felt Luke's warm hand on her shoulder for a couple of seconds, maybe as a silent support, and Reggie's glare on her neck. Flynn and Carrie were the only ones who knew about her small "incident" with her soulmate, she'd have to talk to him later.</p><p>"Yeah, we'll even smack the shit out of him if you ask us to" Luke dropped, earning some smiled giggles from Reggie and repressed laughter from Julie.</p><p>Alex simply remained quiet for a couple of minutes, and the guys stood there, determined to hold his pieces together.</p><p>"Okay, that's enough" Alex cleared his throat after pulling away from their embrace. "I already told him to fuck off, I don't wanna think about it anymore" he used the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe away the tears with more force than he had intended, but he was fucking done crying.The guys didn't need any more details, otherwise, they would've chased down the culprit and done things they would go to jail for.</p><p>They looked at him, frowning at his indifference "I'm fine! Let's just play" he huffed, with a bit more of exasperation he had intended to show.</p><p>"It's okay if you don't wanna rehearse, dude" Luke took a step back, knowing Alex might lose it if he didn't have enough space around him. Reggie and Julie nodded to Luke's words, even though they were eager to play.</p><p>"No, I just wanna drum it off" Alex waved his hand into the nothingness of the air, trying to clear his head and reaching for his drumsticks. He was so close from slamming the sticks into his own head-</p><p>"Oh! Oh! Did you listen to the song I sent you yesterday?" Reggie jumped on his spot, almost making Julie and Luke laugh, but they did a good job at hiding it. After all, they were still mad at the source of Alex's suffering.</p><p>"Teeth? Yeah, sort of" Alex started spinning his sticks, already feeling restless and his hands tickling to play. "You wanna play it?"</p><p>"Maybe it helps! It's a banger" Reggie chanted, full of joy, as he sprinted across the room to reach his bass. Luke knew the song, it <em>was</em> a huge banger.</p><p>"I don't know the song" Julie admitted, quickly running through her inner repertoire and realizing she had never heard the song. Teeth? What kind of name is that?</p><p>"It's okay, you can grab the tambourine over there" Reggie signaled at the air, not really pointing at something specific and already too focused on his own instrument.</p><p>Julie just laughed softly, and before reaching her usual spot and walking away from Alex, Luke's hand found hers and gave her a small squeeze before letting go. "Thank you for that" it almost said, and Julie gave him a reassuring smile. She would've done anything for Alex.</p><p>Julie sat down behind the piano as they all practiced the chords and rhythms before actually playing. Luke sang through the first verse and was just about to take on what Julie guessed was the pre-chorus when both he and Alex stopped in sync, reading their minds and realizing they weren't really connecting with the song. </p><p>"Ow, come on! Let's try again!" Reggie huffed, with a silly smile that seemed unable to disappear. Alex shook his head, non-verbally communicating everything he needed to say. </p><p>Without asking, Julie's inner light-bulb turned on.</p><p>"I-I may have a suggestion" she raised her voice, gaining everyone's attention. "I know the lyrics well, though it's a bit old," the guys eyed her curiously while she gathered the courage to say the name. She was really taken aback by their reaction. All of them frowned, to Julie's discontent, but she soon realized their arched eyebrows were accompanied by sided smiles that screamed something she didn't know how to describe. Pride? Excitement? </p><p>"Julie Molina, an alt-rock fan?" Luke teased, picking up the guitar he had let down a couple of seconds ago. </p><p>"That's my Jules" Reggie approached her and gave her a high-five. </p><p>"Are we doing this?" Alex broke their little bubble, and they were all able to notice a small fire in his eyes, but no smile. He was eager to play, and they all nodded in response. </p><p>Julie was taking the lead on a song for the first time, but she didn't have much time to dwell on it until she was lying down in bed that night (Luke had firmly stated that "even though he was a very talented singer, Patrick Stump's high notes were too much for him"). All she could think about was Alex, and how bad she wanted to make him feel better. </p><p>Luke's heavy guitar chords flooded the room, as the guys collectively sang the <em>n</em><em>a na na</em> part that made Julie's little neck hairs stand up.</p><p>
  <em>This is a black, black ski mask song</em>
  <br/>
  <em>So put all of your anger on</em>
  <br/>
  <em>In the truly gruesome do we trust</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I will always land on you like a sucker punch</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Singing I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare</em>
</p><p>The three other band members had to mentally pinch themselves once it was their turn to sing again, mesmerized by Julie's voice. She kept holding on to the mic like a lifeline and swaying around with the rhythm, slowly getting lost in the fast-paced tempo.</p><p>They had covered a couple of songs in the last week, but none of them matched this heavy badass energy and they were definitely thrilled about it. Luke had taken the lead in all of them, giving Julie some time to adapt to the sound of their instruments and even her own voice after so many months without performing. But right now? As he watched her pour her soul into the song, even though it was just for Alex? Damn, he regretted taking the spotlight away from her, and secretly promised himself to never do it again.</p><p>
  <em>If you knew, knew what the bluebirds sing at you, you would never sing along</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Cast them out 'cause this is our culture</em>
  <br/>
  <em>These new flocks are nothing but vultures</em>
</p><p>And suddenly, everyone in the room forgot how to breathe. Even if the song was a bit low on Julie's range, the chorus demanded skill she seemed to have mastered long ago. She made every word sound like absolute heaven, and the worst part was to see her being completely unaware of the power she possessed. If it was even possible, the guys played harder and louder, finding themselves completely captured in the intensity of Julie's performance and the song itself.</p><p>
  <em>Because they took our love, and they filled it up</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Filled it up with novocaine and now I'm just numb</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Now I'm just numb</em>
</p><p>The guys did their duty and sang their respective parts, only to notice Alex utterly lost in the banging and insistent beating of the drums, making all of their hearts jump out of pure joy. He had the biggest smile on his face, and they prided themselves on making their friend happy again. They knew it was momentary, but it felt good to know he had something else in mind.</p><p>
  <em>Don't mind me, I'm just a son of a gun</em>
  <br/>
  <em>So don't stop, don't stop 'till your heart goes numb</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And now I'm just numb</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I don't feel a thing for you</em>
</p><p>Julie left that last note hanging for a couple of seconds, making the guys' soul leave their bodies for an instant, and just like they had simultaneously discussed it by just gazing at each other, the music stopped, leaving a lingering feeling in the room. </p><p>They laughed, and they wouldn't have been able to pinpoint why, but they knew something big had just happened, and none of them was able to brush it off for days. </p><p>Singing last week with her had been magical, but to see her taking the lead like that? Showing off her awesomeness without second thoughts? They knew they had made the right choice, Julie Molina was exactly what the band needed.</p><p><em>You really are a rockstar</em>, Luke's thoughts collected while looking at her, as soon as he stopped playing.</p><p>"Um, guys?" They all eyed Alex, who was now grabbing his drumsticks nervously with both of his hands, still smiling. "Can we do that again?" </p><p>The tension formed in the room seconds ago lifted, followed by muffled chuckles from the sound of their instruments, already set for a second round.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We love Alex ignoring his problems and fixing them with music, but honestly? Same </p><p>Referenced songs!<br/>Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer<br/>Novocaine - Fall Out Boy</p><p>Next chapter will be an emotional roller coaster so buckle up for next Sunday woohoo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Life can be a mess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A bit of miscommunication and bit of drama for our band, don't we love it?<br/>Today I give you 3984 words of angst but hey hey maybe it's not so bad in the end??</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Apparently some girls helped Charlie find this website????<br/>But as far as I know he's on Lalex ao3 so we're good HAHAHA<br/>Thank you so much for the hits and the kudos!!<br/>Also, you guys make my entire week so much better with your comments, tysm</p><p>Chapter song: There Was Sun - Nothing But Thieves<br/>Something about the lines "Some days I feel somewhere else or somewhere in between / Some days I don't feel a thing at all" reminds me so much of Julie.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The last thing heard in the Molina's house that morning was the loud bang of the door, along with some hurried steps outside and a name being shouted.</p><p>Ray Molina was dating someone. And Juliana Isabel Molina was <em>furious</em>.</p><p>She was fully aware of the fact that Tía Victoria had teased him into going back to the dating life a couple of months ago, and but she knew her dad had dismissed the idea the moment the words came out her sister-in-law's mouth. Or so Julie had thought. </p><p>She had tried to bring up the text she saw the other night as calmly as possible, convincing herself many times it was probably nothing, only to encounter her dad's figure frozen and his shaky voice asking Carlos to do the dishes to give them some privacy. She ended up confronting him, and probably saying a couple of things she would regret later, but right now, all she could see was red. </p><p>She found herself unable to pay attention to any classes, no matter how hard she tried. She eventually gave up after third period and managed it would be better to just pretend she was there when in reality, she was somewhere else. </p><p>Rose and Ray had always been Julie's premier example of the perfect relationship, having unconsciously guided her into thinking that finding her soulmate was going to be one of her life's biggest achievements. So, when her mom died, the last Julie thing had expected was her dad to move on from the fact that he had lost the person he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with. Not like this. </p><p>She was angry at him, she really was, but at the same time, she was angry at herself for being so immature. Her dad was a grown <em>ass</em> man, with much more years of experience in life than her, and he was certainly better at decisions than she would ever be. She really tried to be supportive, she tried to feel happy for him, but then she would gaze at the living room frames of their family, and thought of her mom. <em>She was there with them, how could he act that way when she was right there.</em></p><p>The whole day went by that way, with a bubble full of negative energy Flynn would've popped off in a matter of seconds. In moments like this, she yearned for her best friend's company, if she could even call her that way after so much time-</p><p>"Jules, you're not even listening!" Reggie gave her a soft tap on the shoulder to bring her back to reality. Right, she was in the basement with the guys and they said they had good news. Luke and Alex were hooked by their arms, sharing a compliant smile. Reggie was basically jumping on his spot. </p><p>"Sorry, I'm back" she brushed it off with a smile that didn't feel convincing at all, but it seemed like the guys' excitement had made them blind to the girl's actual mood.</p><p>"Luke booked us a gig for this weekend!" They all jumped joining Reggie, not being able to keep themselves still, except for Julie, who seemed to be frozen in her chair.</p><p>"Y-you did what?" It came out in one shaky breathe that made her realize she had started holding the air inside her lungs. The boys finally seemed to catch up with Julie's current state, ceasing all forms of celebration and carefully approaching her spot.</p><p>"I know it sounds scary, but I know it'll be totally awesome" Reggie tried to dismiss the tension in the air, but it only took one look at Julie to realize she was definitely about to explode. </p><p>"Why would you do that?" From all the possible replies the boys had come up with, none of them matched her response. </p><p>"Julie, what do you mean?" Luke walked up to her, his hand unconsciously reaching out for her shoulder, only to have her slapping his hand away, scaring him, and making him back off. </p><p>"That was so uncalled for!" He retreated his hand to his chest, rubbing it gently and acting out. In his mind, he was definitely still hoping for everything to be a joke.</p><p>"Why would you book a gig without letting me know?!" she finally let out a loud, breathless, and desperate shout, the anger she had been saving up since this morning growing under her skin.</p><p>"We've been practicing for two weeks! We thought it was time!" Reggie intervened with his heart on his throat and sweaty hands. Julie Molina was a ray of sunshine with undying patience, so when she got upset, you knew you had fucked up big time.</p><p>"So I don't get a say in all of this?!" She stood up, already grabbing her schoolbag from the floor. "You know I'm not ready to be on stage!" </p><p>"Julie, we might think you-" Alex was cut short before finishing his sentence.</p><p>"You thought wrong, okay?! I can't do this!" She walked to the door, willing to leave the conversation behind before saying something else she would regret. </p><p>She knew she was making a deal out of nothing, they all had been so eager to book a gig for days now. But every time she tried to think clearly, the image of her dad trying to evade their morning conversation was enough to send her spiraling down for hours, even if she knew the guys didn't deserve it.</p><p>"Can't you see this is important to us?" Luke questioned from his spot, looking at her expectantly. Hurt, she even dared to think, once she turned on her feet to face them. </p><p>"I asked you guys one thing when I joined this band, and it was time" </p><p>"It's now or never, Julie" Luke answered, eyes full of fierceness and no intentions of giving up. "Every gig gets us closer to a record deal"</p><p>"Are you all <em>that</em> desperate to be famous?" she whispered, with evident anger in her gaze. Her words were sharp, and her tone grew colder as she took a couple of steps back into the room. "I thought you were all better than this, but you're so selfish" </p><p>"You don't know-" Luke started, but wasn't given the chance to continue. He fought hard to keep the tears welling on his eyes from dropping.</p><p>"All I know is that you only care about yourselves" she snapped, and she didn't have to scream, because the words were already buzzing around Luke's ears. </p><p>"Jules" Reggie wailed almost inaudible at her friend.</p><p>"Don't 'Jules' me, Reggie" she couldn't help but point at him with her finger, and he recognized the gesture as her mother's. He would've smiled, in other circumstances, but right now his friend kind of hated him, and he felt nauseous.</p><p>"You're being childish, Julie" Luke argued, and immediately wished he had kept his mouth shut once he saw Julie's glance shifting into something fiercer. "You want this as much as we do"</p><p>"No, Luke. You're wrong" she babbled under her breath. "I actually care about this band, and all you're thinking about is the fans, the fame, and the fortune" she knew she was no longer talking to all of them, and she knew she had to stop, but her brain just couldn't. "If you didn't need me so much to get there, you guys would forget I exist" and with that, she walked out, closing the door behind her with all her anger for the second time that day. </p><p>It took the guys one second to catch up, especially Reggie, but it was enough for Alex to see Luke staring at the door, taking his own backpack and leaving the room, to realize what had happened. </p><p>"Dude, she didn't mean it" Alex tried, reaching for his shoulder as fast as he could, but Luke was already halfway upstairs, probably about to get lost in LA shiny and crowded streets. <em>T</em><em>his is gonna be a long night.</em></p><p>(...)</p><p>The doorbell rang about three times before Ray was able to get it, not being able to get Carlos or Julie's attention to open it. Outside stood two boys, smiling nervously and looking curiously inside. It didn't take Ray long to realize one of the boys in front of him was Reggie, his daughter's best friend. (Or an ex-best friend? Just friend? Weren't they hanging out now? Jesus Christ, he didn't have enough training for this)</p><p>"Reginald?" He smiled kindly, amazed by how much he had grown over the months. He pulled him in for a hug Reggie gladly accepted and hummed at the sudden feeling of home invading his senses. The Molina's house always had that effect. "You've grown so much!" He pulled away from the hug, gazing at his companion. "I'm sorry, and you are?"</p><p>"Alexander Mercer, sir" he took out his hand and shook it nervously at the presence of Julie's dad. Although he seemed nice, there was something quite intimidating about him that he just couldn't pinpoint.</p><p>"I'm guessing you're here to see Julie?" He inquired, curious to see other teenagers in the house for the first time since Rose had died. Both guys nodded, full of energy. "Well, come in, you can wait here" he urged them to the living room and asked them to wait while he called Julie.</p><p>Things had been complicated when she got home from school, but being great at avoiding confrontation, Julie had managed to lock herself up in her room for the rest of the afternoon. Now it was around 9pm, dinner had already been eaten, and two boys were sitting on his couch wanting to see her daughter. </p><p>He knocked on her door at least three times before hearing a sharp 'Come in'. She never turned her eyes away from the notebook she was holding, and her knuckles turned white after tightening up her grip, but Ray seemed to miss it.</p><p>"There are two gentlemen downstairs looking for you," he said, softly. Julie finally gazed at him, confused, before jumping out of bed and heading downstairs. He just blinked, not very surprised at this point at her daughter's promptness, and just went back to his room.</p><p>Julie found Reggie and Alex eyeing each other nervously on her couch, and she suddenly felt her heart sinking to her stomach. She had messed up that afternoon, said a bunch of mean things, and walked away. She felt <em>awful</em>, and now they were here? Wasn't she supposed to be the one looking up for them?</p><p>"I guess you saw the message I sent you?" she asked while fidgeting with the long sleeves of her sweater. She had sent a long ass paragraph explaining what had happened to her in the morning and why she had been in such a mood, but she had also apologized and said there was no excuse for her behavior.</p><p>"Yeah, but that's not why we're here" Reggie stared at her from his spot on the couch, and she sat down in front of them, on the coffee table. </p><p>"I'm really sorry, guys. I just-" she stopped, midway, realizing she wasn't actually talking to the whole band. "Where's Luke?"</p><p>Reggie and Alex sighed heavily, sinking further into the couch. Julie took the chance to observe her friends and noticed glassy eyes, slouch shoulders, and evident sadness and worry across their faces. She suddenly felt her whole body going tense.</p><p>"If there's something you need to know about Luke is that he got his mom's personality, they're very hot-tempered" Alex began with a croaky voice, giving away how tired he was. "And they've never had trouble before, they agree on everything" Reggie supported, by nodding as fast as his exhaustion allowed him. "But his parents have always been opposed to the idea of the band, and they fought a lot-" he trailed off, looking at a wall behind Julie's head. </p><p>"What Alex is trying to say is that your little fight with Luke must've hit close from home" Reggie continued, slightly reaching a high pitch when he got to the end of the sentence. "And he soooort of disappeared after leaving school today"</p><p>Julie's gaze fell to the ground feeling like the worst scumbag on earth, as the guys went more into detail about Luke's home life. In a nutshell? It was fucking chaos. His parents were constantly bickering him for turning his back on the family business, and for barely spending any time at home. She couldn't blame him if his parents were just as the boys described them.</p><p>Was her luck so miserable that she had already ruined one of her new friendships? Was she doomed to never have stable relationships ever again? The painful memory of her last moments with Flynn stabbed her chest, burning her from the inside out. </p><p>"Julie" Alex called, placing a hand on her shoulder, "don't blame yourself, you didn't know".</p><p>"Still, I should've kept my mouth shut" Julie fought back, tears already gathering around her eyes. She closed them, stopping them from appearing and also from showing any weakness. </p><p>Of course Luke was desperate to get a record deal, his entire relationship with his parents depended on it. Her insides twisted without her approval, disgusted by the idea of having to prove yourself to chase after your dreams. He wanted to show them he could do it, that it was actually possible to succeed, and she had blown it all off.</p><p>"You don't know where he is?" she found herself asking, after a couple of silent minutes. Reggie was startled, he was falling asleep peacefully on Julie's couch, and she had a small deja vu from years ago; a young Reggie falling asleep next to her while watching The Force Awakens.</p><p>"He's not very attached to his phone, he barely replies to our texts sometimes" Alex admitted sheepishly. </p><p>"We haven't heard from him in hours" Reggie spoke, followed by a huge yawn. He placed his head on Alex's shoulder and the boy cuddled closer into his friend. Julie smiled on the inside, suddenly warmed by the boys' cuteness.</p><p>"Why did you come?" Julie questioned bluntly, with a cloudy head, then quickly became aware of her lack of touch and shook her hands clumsily, like she was trying to erase her words from an inexistent, invisible board. The boys laughed softly, not really having the strength to do more.</p><p>"We get it, Julie" Alex smiled kindly at her, grabbing her hands slowly and letting them down on her lap. "We wanted to apologize for what happened this afternoon"</p><p>"And make sure Luke wasn't hiding here" Reggie added, gesturing the house with his index. </p><p>"There's nothing to be sorry about, I think I'm the one who should be apologizing, again" she joked lightly, in attempts of lifting off the heavy atmosphere that had fell upon them. They didn't laugh and just looked at her while smiling forcefully. Everything was her fault, and they were facing the consequences of her unmeasured words. "But yeah, I don't think he'll be coming here" The living room kept spinning round, and her head was full of thoughts she couldn't get rid of.</p><p>
  <em>What if something happens to him? Would it be my fault?</em>
</p><p>"He did come last time, so we didn't discard the idea, y'know?" Alex stood up, dragging Reggie with him since he was already falling asleep. "Just please let us know if comes back, we'll keep looking around".</p><p>"Have his parents contacted you?" Julie surprised herself with the determination in her voice. She felt guilty, yes, but that didn't lessen the grudge growing inside of her towards Luke's parents.</p><p>"No, and I don't think they will" Alex whispered, concern coating every single one of the syllables. His fingers couldn't stop playing with the little strands of his hoodie, and she realized she had never seen him so restless. </p><p>"The band "broke up", remember?" he commented, emphasizing in 'broke up'. Right, because of Luke's stupid white lie, his parents thought the band was no more, and that he was now focusing on school. </p><p>The conversation ended soon and Julie found herself hugging both guys goodbye at the exit, holding onto them for a little longer than usual. Her own way of apologizing, she guessed. She'd make it up to them, for ruining things so soon.</p><p>The door closed behind her as she approached the living room window and followed them with her gaze as they left on their bikes. She exhaled, releasing all the air she had been holding back, and suddenly the living room was too big for her. She felt small, trapped, and she wanted to cry more than ever. </p><p>Without having any chance to overthink, her silent steps found their way to the study, closing the door behind her and giving herself the chance of sobbing loudly with no fear of being heard. She sat in front of her mom's piano and cried for what felt hours, as she mumbled apologies that no one could hear and pleaded for hugs she wouldn't get.</p><p>A huge weight positioned itself on her heart as she struggled to catch her breath. She started getting to all the emotions she had repressed since she had met the guys, and she openly admitted to herself, probably for the first time ever, that she was scared. Sure, her subconscious had known all along and even made jokes about it, but she had been oblivious for so long, so oblivious she may have just committed self-sabotage. </p><p>The boys were obviously troubled by this whole situation and there was no time for such discussions when one of their friends was literally missing, but she couldn't help but think they were kicking her out of the band. They had been nothing but sweethearts to her and she had already caused so much havoc, not to mention she was just holding them back. They were ready to be out there, they were ready to shine, but Julie kept thinking she wasn't.</p><p>She looked up from her folded arms and stared at the ceiling looking for a sign. For an outsider, she could've been looking at the hanging chairs that had made her so paranoid from day 1, but she was looking beyond that, perhaps looking at the answer she already had in her hands. </p><p>"Mom, how do I shake this feeling off?" She croaked and coughed, tired from all the heavy whimpering. "I don't wanna do this without you" and she let herself fall hard in her arms, smashing her head against the rough piano surface and cursing aloud. She recovered quickly, and stared at the cause of her pain, literally.</p><p>In an act of bravery, she removed the blanket covering the piano and watched the lyrics of Wake Up falling to the ground, as she felt her heart beating faster per second. She had memorized it long ago, in hopes that one day, if she was brave enough, she'd play again.</p><p>
  <em>Here's the one thing I want you to know</em>
</p><p>She stood up from the bench and picked up the piece of paper, her hands trembling like an earthquake and her breath faltering by just looking at her mother's mesmerizing handwriting.</p><p>She didn't really know how it happened, her head went fuzzy, her gaze was blurry and she was no longer controlling her movements. Maybe it was a sign, her mother taking over and showing her there was nothing to be afraid of, but that it was okay to be scared. She had restricted herself from feeling for so long, frightened of hitting a new rock bottom, of making another stupid decision, of walking away from everyone she loved one more time. Had she lost her chance?</p><p>She felt herself smiling (Well, was it really her?) Fingers ran smoothly against the piano tiles and a voice filled the space. Her voice. The sound startled her, she had lost the habit of listening to her soft humming in between showers, mumbling breathless lyrics while rushing to finish a test or chorused bops at Flynn's or Carrie's in the middle of the night. God, she missed it all.</p><p>She missed the ache on her fingers from playing for hours and hours, the faint soreness in her legs from sitting down in front of the grand piano for too long. She missed the pain on her throat that came after belting non-stop, and the apprehensive tone in her mother's voice when she told her she needed to rest. </p><p>She giggled, mid-song, at the fond memory of her mother sitting next to her and laughing at her writing methods. She missed putting her thoughts into lyrics, the fulfilling and rewarding sentiment of holding something made by you. She had despised the idea of being called a songwriter, simply because she felt like she was stealing her mom credit, not acknowledging her insightful thinking process of writing and the beautiful songs she had written with her, but right now, as she sang with her eyes shut and her heart rushing on her chest, she came to the realization that both ideas could coexist, and it was okay.</p><p>Rose Molina had been the personification of music; her mom was her entire world and they both shared music in it. Maybe she had hot-wired both together at some point, and now she couldn't de-tangle both concepts, but she had to. Her world was gone, yes, but the music wasn't. And technically speaking, since her mom <em>was</em> music, didn't that mean she had the chance to be with her whenever she played or sang, just like she was doing now? The simple thought made her choke on a couple of words from the song. </p><p>Maybe she was scared because she had been thinking of music and her mom as a whole, when in reality, both concepts could live in harmony separately; Rose represented music, but it was time for Julie to find a new representation, without leaving her mom behind. Rose had inspired her to do beautiful, outstanding things, so why stop now?</p><p>Suddenly, the song was over. She opened her eyes, and it hit her. "I want everything back" she muttered loudly, holding her mom's words tightly against her chest, and doing her best at taking everything in. </p><p>Just a few moments later, she noticed an unknown silhouette leaning on the now-open garage door. An illusion, she quickly judged when she realized the person was Luke Patterson, but once her body caught up with her thoughts, she ran towards him, almost making him fall backward.</p><p>He muttered an apology for intruding but she paid no mind. Perhaps she was holding him like a lifeline because she had noticed he couldn't say no to touching someone, perhaps she had gone through the biggest realization moment of her life just seconds ago and needed the hug, or perhaps because she had messed up with him and it was her way to make things right. </p><p>None of these things went through her head at that moment. All she could think about was how things were going to change, and she was sure she was right where she needed to be.</p><p>The sudden sound of the house's front door opening scared them and forced Luke into hiding behind some bushes, and even though the tears were still fresh on her cheeks, a reminder of her earlier discovery, she allowed herself to laugh at the boy, a small memory a previous night sprinkling in the back of her mind.</p><p>The image of Ray Molina stepping slowly into the studio startled her, but her initial nervousness quickly wore off once she detailed the fondness of his dad's smile. One look and she knew he had listened to her, and of course, he had, she had been so loud and she didn't even realize. They might have been going through a hard time, but a silent agreement took place the moment her dad took a step up and surrounded her with his arms. A different kind of comfort, her mind concluded. Luke was long erased from her thoughts and she didn't think about him til the next day, thinking it had truly been an illusion created from her fragile state of mind.</p><p>The guilt, so heavy and so grueling, that had been torturing her was now gone, and for the first time in weeks, she slept soundly and dreamed of the sweetest and most intoxicating melody she had ever heard. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know it seems like I love making them suffer bUT IT'LL GET BETTER I SWEAR </p><p>Songs references!<br/>Wake Up from the Julie and The Phantoms Soundtrack hehe<br/>Madison Reyes vocal range still blows my mind istg how can she be so talented</p><p>P.S. I know it may seem a bit off character for Julie to get mad at her dad for dating again, but I feel like that would be her initial reaction to the news, specially if Ray hides it (And I think she's always mad at herslef because she has her own secret? She hasn't said anything about the band, my dudes).<br/>Don't worry, she'll come around. And don't forget she's very impulsive! She looks like the mom friend because the guys are far worse, but she's impulsive as well. (Notice how Flynn was her ground pole during the entire show, or at least that's how I see it)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Relight that spark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Julie has a little surprise for the guys<br/>They're like, the most supportive ever?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I still can't believe I have more than 3k hits but let's just roll with it and pretend I know what I'm doing for a hot sec</p><p>Chapter song: All Night - Icona Pop<br/>It is the cheesiest song about having a good time, but give the lyrics a read and find the parallels with some of the songs in the series. I dare you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <strong>Fanny pack🥁: </strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Just wanted to say I listened to all the songs in CALM.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm declaring myself unavailable for the next 2 years. </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Reg, what have you done</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Their bass-line and drums slap ok? I had to share it</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>If anxiety and heartbreak don't kill me, Luke Hemming will.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>We lost him</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>High destroyed me I hope you're fucking happy Reginald</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Maybe I should've thought about it twice</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Is CALM that new 5sos album</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Yes did you listen to it?</em>
</p><p><strong>Jules🦋:</strong><br/><em>Haven't heard anything released after July</em> <em>2019</em>😗✌️</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Woah gotta fix that ASAP</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>If you need me, I'll be listening to Wonder and crying</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'll be lonely forever</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Wonder?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Shawn Mendes' new album???</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules 🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>???????</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Holy shit I have to show you</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Crackhead📓:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>BAND PRACTICE TODAY AT 4 PM DON'T FORGET</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Also Julie please update your playlist jfc</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules 🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Your awful timing continues to amaze me</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Thank you for your kind words, Luke. Love your support.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Crackhead📓:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>It's just a heartbreak, you'll get over it</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny pack🥁 :</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>I wish I could break you.</em>
</p><p>She turned off her phone with a wide grin on her face, as she tapped her nails against the table and patiently (not really) waited for school to be over. </p><p>Turns out Luke had just driven around town for hours and eventually fell asleep somewhere near Julie's house. They made sure he was safe, they asked many times if he had fought with his parents, and to their surprise, he admitted the last couple of weeks had been the most peaceful in years.</p><p>Only when they were sure everything was fine and he would not do such a thing again, Alex dedicated 15 minutes of his day to tell him how irresponsible and reckless he had been, and how many times he had imagined the Pattersons calling to let them know he was dead. </p><p>They all knew Luke already felt guilty, but they also couldn't help it. He even confessed he had called the bar and canceled the gig, making Julie's own guilty exponentially grow.</p><p>When the time came, Julie was jumping downstairs to find the boys. She had big news, and she could no longer contain herself. It felt incredibly familiar to walk inside the cold room and find the boys already jamming to a song, but it was very much a shocker to recognize the song as non-other than the infamous I Knew You Were Trouble. (She was a huge swiftie, she couldn't lie)</p><p>They didn't notice her entrance, which gave her the perfect opportunity to sneak in and shout 'Oh' with all the air accessible in her lungs as the others laughed and screamed 'trouble trouble trouble'. She didn't make them like Taylor Swift fans but immediately celebrated at the fact that they had other things to bond over.</p><p>Alex was doing okay, they guessed. Sometimes they found him scrolling through the boy's Instagram, leaving a trail of soft sighs in the room. Julie rarely heard him talking about Levi, but she guessed it was something he reserved for moments were she wasn't around (Alex had commented at some point he didn't really know what brought him to come out so freely in front of her. It had eaten him alive for weeks. Julie simply hugged him and hoped their embrace screamed enough "I love you's" to ease the boy's nervousness. She'd wait for him to be more comfortable around her). Other times he would get so caught up in a song they had to all stop playing so he could realize he had well, lost his shit. Just like right now. </p><p>They really loved it, watching him play with such passion and wearing his emotions as a second skin, but they secretly wished he could find motivation somewhere other than his broken heart.</p><p>Alex slowed down, lowering his aching arms, and chuckled like a little kid, noticing the three pairs of eyes staring right back at him, waiting for him to finish his huge drum solo. They joined his giggles, Reggie and Luke mirroring him and letting down their instruments.</p><p>"Hey so, I was thinking of a killer melody for a song" Reggie started, but Julie had zoned out, thinking of how to drop the bomb. She was still waiting for them to quick her out of the band, even after a huge intervention guided by Alex in which they settled that "no, it was no one's fault" "yes, Luke, shut the fuck up" "Julie, don't look at me like that".</p><p>"Guys, I booked a gig" Her voice echoed inside the room, making the guys stop whatever conversation they were having. All eyes were on her, gazing expectantly and waiting for her to elaborate. Alex didn't question, and simply beamed at her like a proud brother, genuinely, and walked over to her side to hug her. She smiled back.</p><p>"This is the greatest character development I've seen" Reggie commented with a fake strained voice, fanning his eyes with his hands exaggeratedly and wiping away non-existent tears. "Kylo Ren could never" he threw the reference, and grinned proudly once he heard Julie's laughter and realized she had caught it.</p><p>"What made you change your mind?" Luke prompted, and Julie shivered when she heard his voice, but once their eyes found each other, she saw nothing softness and maybe a bit of understanding. He had seen her playing her mom's song, after all, but he didn't know what had meant.</p><p>He didn't have to know, he knew he had seen something extraordinary coming to life and that's all the information he needed in order to move on. He knew she hadn't meant the words she said and he had made very clear how sorry he was. They dedicated each other a warm secret smile.</p><p>"I did the one thing I had to do since the beginning" she muttered, still blown away by the memory of the previous night. "I let my mom in"</p><p>The guys didn't know what to say, but they gave Julie reassuring smiles, hoping it would be enough to fill in the moment. </p><p>"Take it as my apology, ok?" she joked, bumping Luke's shoulder lightly, who was now on her left side, while Alex still held her. "I hope you can sneak out on Friday" The guy simply chuckled, already planning his lie for the upcoming gig.</p><p>Alex rejoined the hug, and so did Luke and Reggie after a few seconds of debating. They held each other for a couple of seconds (ok, maybe minutes, but they loved it) and then discussed their plan for their first (<em>holy shit</em>) presentation. </p><p>(...)</p><p>So, here's the thing. Drake's wasn't exactly <em>the</em> hotspot for new rising bands in the city (that was kind of their thing now), but it did hold a special place in Julie's heart. Drake Núñez had been an old friend of her parents for the longest time, and most of her best memories of music held place in there. It was a vinyl store in downtown LA, where she'd work sometimes during the summer. Every Friday night they'd clear the place and install a small stage for their famous open mics. </p><p>Bands were found there every once in a while when producers got lost on their way to the music scene, but most of the performances were made by Drake's closest friends, which Julie happened to be, in a way. Drake and Rose were both daughter and son of immigrants who adored music more than breathing; understanding their friendship wasn't rocket science.</p><p>The hardest part was convincing him not to tell her dad. She still hadn't figured that out, and now their relationship was, um, unstable? She didn't even know where they stood. He'd make breakfast for her, take her to school, and send her apologetic looks every once in a while, and she would help him find his keys, do dinner when he seemed to busy editing, but nothing else had happened. </p><p>She knew she had to apologize at some point, and actually act like an adult, but she couldn't even bring herself to share a glance with him.</p><p>So when Friday night came, she found herself telling Ray she had been invited to yet another party and climbing into Luke's car, piled up against Alex's drum set and uncomfortably sitting on Reggie's lap, who by the way kept trying to tickle her to keep the presentation out of her mind. It wasn't really working, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about their gig from the moment she booked it.</p><p>One thing she didn't consider, however, was the fact that the place was always crowded. The small establishment didn't leave much space for large crowds, but Drake was a very friendly man, and lots of people knew about his amazing open mic nights. None of them really admitted it, but the number of heads visible was making them shiver.</p><p>They descended Luke's car, and the boys gave Julie hugs and kind pats on the shoulder for the millionth time that day. She had started shaking the moment she woke up, haunted by their presentation. Reggie kindly pinched her nose, the way he used to when they were 13 and careless, and she beamed at the boy, surrendered at his methods.</p><p>All of them took their instruments and entered the store, where everyone was chatting animatedly and drinking something they knew they wouldn't be offered. A short man approached them, with hair as white as a cotton ball contrasting his warm brown skin. The smile on his face never faltered and got even wider once he saw the familiar face of the curly-haired girl. </p><p>"Well if it isn't Julita Molina" his thick Cuban accent slipped through his tongue, while Julie just laughed at her nickname and hugged Drake, completely unaware of the boys' amazement at the man who seemed to have an interesting character.</p><p>"Thank you so much for giving us a slot, Drake" she shook his hand after walking away from their embrace, and the man gave the group a mellow smile.</p><p>"For Rosalba? <em>Mi familia?</em> Anything, Julita" his voice croaked a bit at the end, and Julie felt tears gathering in her eyes, but they were happy tears, she was sure. </p><p>"Besides," the man continued, urging them into the stage "I love helping new bands" the man beamed proudly and told them one last thing before getting lost in the crowd. "I expect nothing but the best" and just like that, he winked and walked away.</p><p>The band eyed each other feeling their nerves rising, and went on stage to organize everything for their performance. They were the first band in line, which made everything absolutely worse. </p><p>In the blink of an eye, it was time for their performance, and running away had already crossed Julie's mind around 50 times that night. </p><p>"Jules, you're still shaking" Reggie placed his hand on her shoulders, as she sat down in front of the boy's keyboard (Damn, she really needed to get her own keyboard out of that dusty studio. Reggie's keyboard did the job, but playing from the one her mom had gifted her for her 12th birthday didn't seem like such a bad idea). She hadn't noticed, but a piece of paper on a windy day probably looked firmer than she did right now. </p><p>Their instruments were all set and the band was waiting for the host of night to present their act. She held on tight to the dahlia pin on her camo jumpsuit.</p><p>"I think I'm gonna throw up" she leaned on the piano, pressing her forehead against the keys and risking herself of having them marked on her skin, but she didn't seem to care. </p><p>"Hey, you're gonna do great!" She closed her eyes, trying to take in Reggie's excitement, but the floor beneath her never stopped spinning and her head felt as light as a feather. </p><p>"Julie, look at me" Luke's determined tone flooded her senses and she forced herself to look up. "You're a <em>rockstar</em>, you'll kill it" a nonchalant smile adorned his face and he tried to transmit some tranquility, even though he was feeling quite nervous himself.</p><p>"Yeah, you're like, a music goddess or something" Alex added positioning himself behind Julie, making her heart do little jumps from having all three boys giving her support. She smiled at them and thanked them silently as Drake got on stage, and the guys got in position.</p><p>"<em>Amigos</em>, we have a very special band on our stage tonight" the crowd cheered and Julie found herself looking at the guys, hoping to find some grounding. "You see strangers, but I see a little flower blooming and following the steps of someone she loved dearly" Drake eyed Julie as tears welled up on both of their faces. "Give it up for Midnight Madness!" And as the cheering and the applause died down, Julie realized she couldn't run away from this one. </p><p>Her hands found the keys and pressed them hesitantly, immediately taking them back when the sound startled her. The boys looked at her, and maybe she saw Luke mouthing quietly "You've got this", but her nerves didn't give her much time to think.</p><p>She placed her hands on the keyboard one more time and felt the melody of the song slowly coming to life under her fingers. </p><p>
  <em>Sometimes I think I'm falling down</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I wanna cry, I'm calling out</em>
  <br/>
  <em>For one more try to feel alive</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And when I feel lost and alone</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I know that I can make it home</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Fight through the dark and find the spark</em>
</p><p>Her breath shuddered and she stared at her boys, who were staring right back in nothing but awe and admiration.</p><p>
  <em>Life is a risk, but I will take it</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Close my eyes and jump</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Together, I think that we can make it</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Come on, let's run</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And rise through the night, you and I</em>
  <br/>
  <em>We will fight to shine together, bright forever</em>
</p><p>The boys joining her after the pre-chorus was something that unconsciously alarmed Julie each time they practiced. She had always played either with her mom or on her own, so naturally, even after weeks of practice, listening to the boys' instruments encompassing her voice was something she was far from getting used to. Still, it felt incredible, even magical.</p><p>
  <em>In times that I doubted myself</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I feel like I needed somе help</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Stuck in my head with nothing left</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I feel somеthing around me now</em>
  <br/>
  <em>So unclear, lifting me out</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I found the ground</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm marching on</em>
</p><p>Julie finally found the courage to stand up from behind the keyboard, and actually vibe around the stage, feeling every chord and beat moving her body. Her eyes landed on Luke as he took over the second verse, and realized he looked absurdly confident. His grin was shinning brighter (see what she did there?) than his yellow beanie.</p><p>
  <em>Life is a risk, but we will take it</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Close my eyes and jump</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Together, I think that we can make it</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Come on, let's run</em>
</p><p>Reggie joined and harmonized next to him, and Julie allowed herself to walk through the stage, smiling alongside Alex as Luke reached that note with a vibrato she learned to appreciate. The chorus came in, and she was now dancing on stage, as the public eat the performance from their hands.</p><p>
  <em>In times that I doubted myself</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I feel like I needed some help</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Stuck in my head with nothing left</em>
</p><p>Luke found himself gravitating towards Julie when he realized she had placed the mic just for him. They hadn't rehearsed this and something inside his heart warmed at the gesture of the girl. </p><p>
  <em>And when I feel lost and alone</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I know that I can make it home</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Fight through the dark and find the spark</em>
</p><p>He enjoyed the excitement of singing on his own, and damn, he loved singing with Reggie as well, but there was something about his voice blending with Julie's that just made his heart skip a beat. </p><p>
  <em>And rise (rise) through the night (through the night)</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You and I (you and I)</em>
  <br/>
  <em>We will fight to shine together (we will shine together)</em>
</p><p>Once again, the boys had to find every piece of soundness within themselves to keep playing, as they watched Julie hit a note that yet again hadn't been rehearsed. The crowd stilled and observed astonished as the music quieted down, to then erupt in unending cheering and clapping. </p><p>The band eyed each other and vowed to the public, while the adrenaline and giddiness left from their presentation kicked in their stomachs. Julie did her best to not cry, but eventually failed and spent the rest of the night sobbing and laughing (surrounded by one of the best people in her life) because <em>she made it</em>. If the guys caught her looking at the sky silently throughout the night, they kept it for themselves; they were immensely proud of Julie.<br/> <br/>The night went on between comforting and praising Julie, and feeling like the absolute kings and queens of the world. More than once they found each other beaming full of energy, and even though they never shared it, they were all sure as hell that night had been one of the best of their lives. Record labels and contracts could wait.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Once again thank you so much for the support! All kudos are well received and please let me know in the comments if you're liking the story!</p><p>Songs referenced!<br/>- Bright  from the Julie and The Phantoms Soundtrack AND don't mind me but Bright in my dreams sounded just like this?&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugMtDWvRhw0 idk it's calm at the beginning with Julie and then it turns into that?? Dude I'd die, I can't wait for a tour<br/>- I Knew You Were Trouble - Taylor Swift, because our boy Alex just loves to have music as therapy (Don't we all?)<br/>- I guess also CALM by 5sos and Wonder by Shawn Mendes??</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. If I leave you on a bad note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Carrie has officially joined the story.<br/>Long live the queen!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter song: Hallelujah - HAIM, the song is basically about their bond as sisters but for some reason it reminds me of Flynn, Carrie and Julie so bad. Also, HAIM songs have no business in being so good, go listen to them.<br/>This is a chapter shorter than usual and I apologize but I still hope you enjoy it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spirit rallies at Los Feliz had always been fun. A bit of Dirty Candy here, a bunch of sweaty athletes over there, the whole school gathered to listen to Principal Lessa talking profusely about the school's colors and the flag and the music and individuality and yada yada yada, you get the point. It was fun, it really was a beautiful and colorful week until music became a problem.</p><p>Julie was able to skip it for the first couple of months, with Mrs. Harrison's permission and pretty much everyone's petty. She hated it, but at least it allowed her to spend some time alone, not thinking about anything in particular. The reminder of her costumes, well rehearsed choreographies, makeup looks, weeks of repertoire planning (but specially the memory of her mom sneaking from work to watch her perform), sometimes became a little too much for Julie.</p><p>Now (ironically), she longed for those endless nonsensical mornings, because it was her only chance to see the boys throughout the day. The difference between schedules was starting to catch up on them, and they were now able to admit that being apart the whole day <em>sucked</em>. Lunches together were ok, but moments like these were priceless.</p><p>"We should totally have an MCR Halloween-themed party" Reggie suggested, leaning into his friend's ear to make the less sound as possible. </p><p>"Reg, that's like 5 months from now" Julie tried reasoning but knew there was no turning back now that Reggie had started thinking about it. Alex just kept scratching lines from his notebook and tried to finish a composition homework he had forgotten about.</p><p>"I think it's genius, Reg" Luke high-fived him and clasped his songwriting journal against his chest, as he brainstormed new lyrics for their next song. Julie peaked from behind, pointing out how the phrasing of "escaping from my past" needed to be changed. Reggie and Alex pretty much agreed on anything that Julie said, and Luke wasn't liking it.</p><p>They discussed as quietly as their enthusiasm allowed them to, and the next thing they knew, Dirty Candy was done with their 10 minute-set. Carrie thanked everyone for their support, and the gym exploded in applause, followed by Principal Lessa dismissing everyone to class.</p><p>The band found their way down the bleachers, and just when the place was almost empty, Carrie Wilson approached Julie. Reggie tensed up and started thinking of a couple of comebacks, knowing the girls had a complicated relationship, while Luke and Alex just stared at him as if he had just grown a third head. </p><p>Reggie hardly ever held grudges against people, he had been cursed with a very forgiving heart, but this was <em>Julie</em>. Carrie had walked out of her life even before her mom died and Reggie had tried to- Wait, they were hugging?!</p><p>"Not bad after 3 months without performing, Wilson" Julie walked back from their embrace and the boys noticed how the girls beamed proudly at each other.</p><p>"Says the girl who hasn't hit a stage in ages" she barked back, not even blinking once. "Besides, that's what happens when you sign a contract, you get your life together, you should try it sometime"</p><p>"It's ok, I'm not really looking forward to releasing music like 'Wow' anyway" She tried to sound bitter, but Julie already felt the smile forming on her face. </p><p>"At least it doesn't sound as commercial as 'Bright'" Julie froze in her spot, as the most powerful grin ever took over Carrie's face "Congratulations on the new band by the way" The girl took her chance to wink at the boys, who were observing the scene from a reasonable distance. Julie grabbed Carrie's arms to pull her a bit closer, like she was about to spill all of NASA's secret.</p><p>"How do you know about that?" Julie whispered, with her eyes orbiting out of her eyes and her nerves tickling every section of her stomach. They hadn't told anyone at school she had joined the band, she simply didn't think it was necessary.</p><p>"Jules, my dad knows <em>everything</em> about LA's music scene, I'm surprised you're surprised" she laughed softly, taking Julie's hands and letting go from her tight grasp. "And Drake posted a video, I guess you guys aren't so bad" </p><p>"Hey! We're freaking epic!" Luke's voice was heard from behind, along with a bit of ruffling and shushing. Julie laughed under her breath and thanked Carrie because she knew her words were honest. </p><p>"Alright, Molina" she teased while taking off her wig in the most glamorous way possible, now that there was no one left on the gym, "Since you're finally snapping out of your 2007 Britney episode, or whatever, party at my house? Saturday?" She eyed the boys from behind Julie, silently extending the invitation.</p><p>"We'll make sure she's there!" Alex yelled, while he and Luke, naturally just went with the flow, giving the girl thumps up. Reggie was still reluctant about the girls' friendship, but 1. Alex had always loved Dirty Candy and was probably acting on his adoration, so he let it slip, and 2. Julie probably knew what she was doing, right? No need for worrying.</p><p>"Congrats on the Atlantic Records deal" Julie finally said, defeated by Alex's quick answer. "Though I wonder what it must be like to <em>not</em> have your daddy be responsible for it"</p><p>"Go fuck yourself, Jules" they both laughed wholeheartedly, and the boys wondered what kind of twisted humor was going on between them. Julie knew this had all been because of Carrie and the other girls' effort, and she was very sure Carrie knew as well. They had talked about it enough times, and Trevor's music career did not define Carrie anymore. "Just make sure to stream 'Girlfriends' when it comes out, will you?" Julie nodded full of energy and hugged the girl one more time before she started walking away.</p><p>"Also, please download Pinterest or something, your color scheme is hurting my eyes," and something in the warmness of her last smile said something similar to "I'm proud of you too", but Carrie was already far enough from Julie's visual field. </p><p>She watched Carrie walk away, confidence in every step she gave. She laughed softly, watching the floor, and carefully turned on her feet to walk towards the boys.</p><p>"Ok, I thought you and Carrie hated each other?" Reggie questioned Julie, visibly confused, once they reached her side. Had he been a YouTube video, you could have seen the small loading ball right on his forehead.</p><p>"Reg, that was more than two years ago" she crossed her arms with a funny smile on her face. "We talked about our difference after my mom- after a couple of months, and we solved everything"</p><p>"What about Flynn?" he questioned further and noticed how the query made his friend wince.</p><p>"Now that's a story for another day" she simply muttered, walking away from the guys and heading to class. "See you at 4?" was all she managed before getting lost in the hallways. </p><p>The name of her friend being screamed from every corner of her brain and the emptiness on her chest indicated she was probably going to spend the rest of her day thinking about Flynn.</p><p>Julie's fallout with Carrie had been nothing more than poorly handled drama spiced up by an incredible lack of communication between the two of them. Julie was so absorbed by Rose's illness that she hadn't realized Carrie was eventually gonna lose a parental figure as well. Trevor Wilson was an amazing father, there were no doubts about it, but there had always been a hole in Carrie's heart that only a mother could fill, and Rose had been doing that their entire lives just fine. </p><p>Carrie arrived at the Molina's one afternoon, eyes and cheeks as red as a cherry, and hugged Julie like her life depended on it. </p><p>It had been five months since Rose's passing, and Carrie apologized for all the hard meaningless stuff she had done (her own way of grieving, she had called it) and promised she would never be that person again. They cried for hours, cuddled up in Julie's bed, and when it was time to go home, neither Ray nor Trevor dared to wake them up. They found them tangled against each other, just like when they were kids.</p><p>The last time they had "spoken" before their reconciliation, they were both wearing black, and Julie hadn't found enough strength to make any conversation, not with her mom's casket a couple of feet away from her. </p><p>It was hard for Carrie, watching Julie waste her talent and throw away her life, but she understood, she probably would have done the same thing. She was too young to remember her mother leaving the picture, but was sure she would've done worse things.</p><p>For Julie, however, it was hard enough to constantly push her friend away, giving up excuses for not hanging out. But once again, Carrie understood, and never questioned her motives, for she knew Julie had no intentions of being vile, and Julie had never stopped being grateful, nor she was planning to.</p><p>They would hardly see each other, nowadays. Julie would get so caught up in homework and her sadness sometimes, that she would forget she remained standing with one single friend. Carrie texted her, sometimes teased her in the hallways, and inadvertently, (but very much intentionally) made sure everything was fine in her life. Again, Julie was immensely grateful. </p><p>She knew it was about time to be more present in the girl's life. Julie knew she didn't owe her anything, but the least she could do was become a constant, instead of a variable; Carrie had enough of those already. </p><p>So yeah, maybe going to her party on Saturday wasn't exactly the best of apologies for the past chaotic months, but it was something. Though, Carrie <em>had </em>invited the boys. A smile surfaced on her face and she grabbed her phone, only to realize they were already texting.</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Julie, you do know I'll keep asking until you tell me, right?</em>
</p><p><strong>Fanny Pack🥁:</strong><br/><em>Reginald, stop being such a gossip</em> </p><p>Obi-Wan🪕:<br/><em>But I'm so curiooouuuus</em></p><p>
  <strong>Fanny Pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm curious about how you'd react if I slapped you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>With a chair </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>You're always so mean to me </em>
  <br/>
  <em>Karma will come for you one day</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Crackhead📓:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Do you guys ever shut up </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>I'll tell you about Flynn</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>REALLY?????</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>If you all go to the party with me</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny Pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>No Julie don't</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>P A R T Y ?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny Pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Shit</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Crackhead📓:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Hahaha Julie you just doomed yourself</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Wdym</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕: </strong>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm so ready, it's been so long</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny Pack 🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT</em>
</p><p><strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong><br/><em>Oh come on w</em> <em>asn't that bad</em></p><p>
  <strong>Crackhead📓:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>You drank so much you thought you had found a portal to fucking Narnia</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny Pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>He hid inside Andrew Perkin's closet for thREE HOURS </em>
  <br/>
  <em>He locked himself up and fucking fell asleep</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Crackhead📓:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>He had Bobby's car keys and we couldn't leave until 5 am or something</em>
  <br/>
  <em>He kept screaming "Caspian I'll have your babies" </em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can still hear it at night </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>... Ok but in my defense, I genuinely felt something inside that wardrobe</em>
</p><p><strong>Fanny Pack🥁:</strong><br/><em>We couldn't take him home the next day and he was so drunk he couldn't recognize any of us</em><br/><em>His parents would've killed him</em> <em>for fuck's sake</em><br/><em>I almost took my entire medication bottle that week <br/></em></p><p>
  <strong>Crackhead📓:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>I had to hide it away from him</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Andrew Perkin as in the lacrosse team captain?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny Pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>HOW IS THAT THE RELEVANT PIECE OF INFORMATION OUT OF EVERYTHING WE'VE TOLD YOU</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Because it's Reggie, how is it that you're still surprised</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Crackhead📓:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Perkin's a nice dude and throws nice parties</em>
  <br/>
  <em>We've performed at his place a couple of times</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Jules🦋:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>Fine, I'll only tell Reggie if he promises not to get drunk</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>YES YES SCOUT'S HONOR</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Crackhead📓:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>You've never been a scout</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>There are many things you don't know about me</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Fanny Pack🥁:</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>I've known you since 5th grade, you've never been a scout</em>
</p><p><strong>Obi-Wan🪕:</strong><br/><em>Stfu man</em> </p><p>And Julie couldn't help but spend the rest of her day smiling because she might have lost Flynn for now, but she had gained three amazing boys who were, unconsciously, winning pieces of her heart.</p><p>And if Carrie texted her that night, basically threatening to invite to all her gigs from now on, she kept it to herself.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Songs referenced!<br/>Bright and Wow from the Julie and The Phantoms Soundtrack<br/>Girlfriend - Boys World </p><p>Stream and stalk Boys World media and tell me Dirty Candy wouldn't be able to match those immaculate vibes, just tell me. Wingman would be such a Dirty Candy song.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. All I see... (pt.1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Party? Party.<br/>Julie sees someone she hasn't seen in a while.<br/>Alex's brain decided to take the day off.<br/>Luke spills the tea on his soulmate situation.<br/>Chaos ensues.</p><p>Tw: underage drinking??</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>THANK YOU FOR THE 100 KUDOS I KINDA CRIED YOU'RE THE BEST<br/>Please ignore the fact that I've never been to a serious party and I wrote this based on TV shows and movies, don't @ me pls<br/>There's no chapter song because I reference sooo many songs throughout the chapter honestly HAHA but you think of a song that gives u the vibes of the chapter, let me know! I'd love to read your suggestions.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carrie Wilson was one of the most impeccable people Julie had ever had the chance to meet. The girl was extremely organized, and <em>that</em> was an understatement. She had schedules, planners, journals, everything she needed in order to plan ahead every single detail of her life as if it was something she could visibly touch and modify.</p><p>Naturally, parties were a big deal for her.</p><p>Trevor basically lived to satisfy his daughter's deepest wishes, therefore gatherings at the Wilson's were always a success, and everyone at school was aware of it. It had started relatively recently, so Julie hadn't had the chance to attend to one of those, but now that she was standing outside the gate, with the three boys at her side, the music already deafening and disturbing her senses, she had begun to understand why she had never accepted.</p><p>"You know you're supposed to have fun, right?" Luke muttered in her ear, along with a funny smirk. </p><p>"No shit, Sherlock" she whispered back between her teeth, tightening her arms around her belly area, which was exposed due to the knot in the shirt she was wearing. She was starting to feel cold and cursed at herself for leaving her sweater home.</p><p>"I'm just saying, try to relax" Luke jokingly surrounded her shoulders with his arm and guided her to the entrance, where Reggie and Alex were waiting for them. </p><p>"This was a bad idea," she said more to herself, wondering if it was too late to turn back and go home, not that the boys would let her.</p><p>"Boss, just let go" he grabbed her shoulders before going in, and stared at her deeply, so long Julie could feel her skin going transparent. Something about the way he was looking at her and the fact that he had called her 'boss', made her brain stop on its tracks. It didn't sound affectionate, or annoyed, but Julie's mind concluded there was a bit of expectation behind his words, and she didn't know what to do with it.</p><p>Before she could think of a reply, Luke's hands were replaced by Reggie's arm, and he pulled her inside the house, only to be received by the ear-splitting sound of what seemed to be a Doja Cat song. </p><p>Carrie soon found her way to the entrance when she noticed her friend and companions arriving, and with already a couple of drinks in her system, she hugged Julie and the boys with all the force available in her body. Julie winced at her embrace, scared of getting her eyeliner all smudged. (What? She took it very seriously.)</p><p>"See? That looks way better" Carrie pointed at Julie's outfit, or at least she tried, with a faint hand motion. </p><p>"You smell like Jack Sparrow!" Julie exclaimed teasingly in the girl's ear, attempting to beat the music. The contrast between the girl's shiny golden mini dress and Julie's black cargo pants with her lilac shirt was evident, even under the feeble colorful lights.</p><p>"What!?" She giggled, throwing her arms around Julie and granting her another hug which she would surely not remember tomorrow.</p><p>"Rum and death, hon!" Carrie walked away enough to flip Julie off, only to get lost in the sea of people flooding the space, making Julie realize the boys were nowhere to be found. Her eyes opened wide and she wandered through the living room and different places of the house, wondering what the hell was so important for them to leave her side. </p><p>Carrie's place was basically a maze, and she had already memorized every possible way to each room, which means finding someone had to be easy for her, right? Wrong. It would be easy, if the house wasn't ridiculously <em>full</em> and <em>dark</em>, with almost every junior and senior from Los Feliz and other schools nearby there. Moving around was worthy of an Olympic medal.</p><p>The whole mansion smelled like the inside of a distillery and the air was so dense she knew she had to catch some air before passing out.</p><p>A vague tug on her high ponytail made her stop her search when she was next to the pool. A wave of relief washed over her once she turned around and realized it was her friend in a ripped denim jacket and pink socks. </p><p>"Julie, I've been looking for the bathroom for <em>fifteen</em> minutes" Alex wailed, visibly overwhelmed by the number of people, and Julie felt like laughing, but kept it to herself. She had spent more time getting lost between the rooms of the house than playing with Flynn and Carrie when they were younger.</p><p>"Grab my hand, I'll take you there" Julie managed, holding the boy's shaky hand and guiding him throw the crowd to find a bathroom.</p><p>They entered a room full of lights and mirrors that could've been easily confused for a dance studio if it wasn't for the small sofas. She closed the door behind them and sighed in comfort leaning on the entrance, as the sound of music and loud talking died down a bit.</p><p>"Julie, I said bathroom-" she pointed at the second door on the opposite side of the room, interrupting him before he could finish his train of thought, and this time she allowed herself to laugh as she saw the boy putting two and two together. "The bathroom has a <em>lounge</em>?" </p><p>"And you haven't seen Carrie's room" she commented teasingly, while the boy entered the bathroom and muttered something about rich people and the crazy things they did with money.</p><p>A few minutes later, a knock on the door startled her, and before she had any time to react, a tall red curly-haired boy with breathtaking blue eyes entered the room. Though, the reason why her breath was taken away, was because the boy in front of her was no other than Levi Reed. </p><p>The sound of a door opening indicated to her that Alex had left the bathroom, and he had begun formulating a sentence when she suddenly heard the poor guy's stuttering.</p><p>Levi waved at Alex rather sheepishly, but the boy seemed to be frozen outside the bathroom door, and Julie cringed a little at his lack of interaction. Levi kept walking and finally locked himself inside the room Alex had just left, and he immediately ran towards Julie in full panic mode.</p><p>"We have to leave now" he kept repeating under his breath, careful of not letting the boy listen to him. </p><p>"Alex, look at me" Julie placed both of her hands on the boy's cheeks in a rush of confidence and whispered to him in hopes to ground him. "You're an amazing guy, ok? He does not deserve your nerves" the boy gulped lightly and just stared at her deeply, making them both secretly shiver "You shouldn't be embarrassed about this, you hear me? He should be, for being such an ass and for thinking that breaking someone's heart isn't a big deal at all" the boy closed his eyes, no longer being able to hold his stare. </p><p>They hugged each other for a couple of seconds, and then she opened the door where they had entered the room in the first place. </p><p>"See the stairs? I'm pretty sure there's a DJ behind those, wait for me there and I'll find the boys" she assured and gave him another small hug before he walked away, just as Levi went out of the bathroom. A thought ran through her mind and she approached the guy hastily.</p><p>"Ok, Ed Sheeran" she prompted, grabbing the neck of his shirt. Since that day at The Mint, it came so naturally to her. "I don't want you anywhere near Alex, are we clear? If you're even 6 feet away from him, you'll turn your back and walk 500 steps in the opposite direction" it suddenly hit Julie, as the guy swayed on his feet under her grasp and his eyes darted across the room like he was trying to grab her words straight from the air, that Levi was completely and mortifyingly drunk. She physically forced herself to not laugh, and simply let go of his shirt, as he ran away from her.</p><p>She left the room and rejoined the party, feeling very confident about her small threat, especially after watching the guy's drunkenness. She soon found Alex next to the DJ table, already talking to the boys with a smile on his face, which calmed Julie a little bit. She kept walking and approached the guys, until she detailed the DJ for the very first time that night, and felt the air getting knocked out of her lungs.</p><p>
  <em>You've got to be kidding me.</em>
</p><p>Of course, she was there, why wouldn't she? Julie never asked because it wasn't her place to do so, but why would Carrie stop talking with her? They were obviously still friends if Flynn was there playing at her party. </p><p>She hadn't seen in her in, what, a year and a half? It had become very easy to avoid her with different schedules, to pretend as nothing had happened. But to see her up there? With a smile on her face and her hips swaying to the sound of her own mix? Julie's chest filled with both happiness and remorse, because Flynn's well-being meant <em>everything</em> for her, but it broke her heart to not be there to share it.</p><p>Her fuchsia cargo dress was full of small patches Julie had never seen, and her braids were shinning under a set of lights placed <em>just</em> for her, but the smile on her face outshined any set of lights in the room that night. Flynn was <em>happy</em>; she had moved on.</p><p>Julie's brain stopped working on the spot and she accidentally crashed against Reggie, spilling the drink he was casually handing to Luke.</p><p>"Wow, you okay?" Asked Reggie with an arched eyebrow and a funny grin on his face. She laughed it off and tried her best to join the conversation, as she eyed Flynn on her DJ spot, who seemed to be unaware of her presence. </p><p>Alex, on the other hand, had taken the irrational decision of drinking his feelings away but decided to tell no one (And yes, he regretted it already, thank you very fucking much). He wasn't gonna let a silly shitty guy ruin his night, Troye Sivan had taught him better.<br/>
 <br/>
After leaving Julie at the entrance of the bathroom lounge (Gosh, that's such a weird sentence), he found his way to the kitchen and drank at least three shots of whatever the senior guys had handed him, then went to the spot Julie had suggested reuniting at, and casually found Reggie and Luke, who were already looking out for them. </p><p>A strange warmth coming from the inside out tickled his skin and his lips, and suddenly everything Reggie said was the funniest thing he had ever heard. <em>Fuck, was he gonna die? Was mixing up alcohol with his medication-.</em></p><p>It wasn't hard for the guys to figure out he was getting drunk once he started losing up and dancing around. He was self-conscious about very things, including his dancing, but for some reason, listening to Dua Lipa saying stuff like 'who needs to go to sleep when I got you next to me?' had made him lose all his inhibitions.</p><p>Reggie had promised to get him more booze and somehow convinced Julie to drink a bit, simultaneously seeming very committed on his promise to not drink a single drop of alcohol. "I'm a man of my word," he grinned, placing a hand on his heart.</p><p> So now, it was just Julie and Alex on the dance floor, dancing to a heavy bass song Julie hadn't heard yet, but she liked it, and it made her feel like a badass again. Reggie and Luke were lost somewhere in the crowd, but with the music at full volume and Alex's uncomplicated dance moves, Julie couldn't bring herself to worry about the missing boys. </p><p>The music came to a sudden stop for a couple of seconds after 15 minutes of dancing with Alex. People complained loudly, but then sound came back up at full volume to exhibit a tune Julie knew extremely well, and she couldn't help but smile at the source of the music. The catchy beats of one of her favorite 2010's songs flooded the dance floor and the crowd now cheered at the choice, as they poorly tried to follow the rhythm. </p><p>If Julie and Flynn's eyes connected for a few seconds after the song started playing, and they both gave each other some faint smiles, it was none of people's business. Maybe things weren't so bad after all, and maybe something could be saved.</p><p>(...)</p><p>Julie danced for hours, or at least it felt that way. Drunk Alex had the same amount of life force as a billion energy drinks combined, and she was so there for it, but her feet <em>weren't</em>. </p><p>Flynn had kindly decided to mix all the songs they both loved so dearly, and Julie just had to dance them all, and she secretly felt, actually hoped, this was a way to slowly reconstruct a path to their long-lost friendship.</p><p>Julie's ponytail soon became a messy bun, her clothes were full of sweat, and she found herself giving excuses to Alex to rest for a couple of minutes. She walked towards the nearest wall, and leaned on it, catching her breath as a secret smile curled on her lips. Maybe she was feeling a little drunk, or maybe memories were flooding her mind. Who knew?</p><p>Dancing had always been a very Molina thing, and also one of the many things she used to share with her mom. Her family would move the sofas on the living room only to twirl around and have a good time, and Julie had taken classes since she was old enough to walk, but it had all stopped the moment Rose became sick. </p><p>Sometimes she would start humming and swinging to the sound of her voice, only to stop after a few seconds and reprehend herself. This was the first time she had danced in a while, and the electricity running through her body, along with the sweet ache of her legs and feet, was just an indication of how much she had missed it. Alex was a worthy dance partner, and she hoped to have this much fun with him when they were sober.</p><p>"I see you followed my advice" Luke commented loudly, as he placed himself next to Julie, leaning on the wall. He handed her a glass of what she expected to be rum and coke, or whatever the seniors were handing, but it was just water. </p><p>"What can I say, music calls me," she said feeling giddy, not really putting weight on her words. They exchanged a couple more words before going silent and listened quietly to a fast-paced song while watching people dance around them.</p><p>Luke's expression grimaced as the music transitioned to trendier and trendier things, and with the bit of alcohol in her system, Julie risked herself to ask some questions.</p><p>"Let me guess, you're sick of your soulmate playing those?" She took a sip from her plastic cup, hoping the water would reassure the confidence she already felt losing. </p><p>"Y'know, Julie" he pointed out, not really accusing her, but with an annoyed and yet humorous tone, "I thought <em>you</em>,  better than anyone, would be more sensible than assuming everyone has a soulmate," he said that last part trailing off, looking at the tons of heads in front of them.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I don't know why I..." she realized she had no excuse, or something left to say, so she just shut her mouth and took in the uncomfortable silence she had created. Then, without having to ask, he started talking.</p><p>"Y'know, the night before you turn 15 you have so many expectations, and you just <em>hope</em> for the best" he started once again, still gazing into the nothingness. "I had been so excited to know about my soulmate, that I had never considered the fact that I had no-" he stopped, his eyes getting cloudy at the memory and voice breaking just enough for her to gasp softly. Julie saw the way he swallowed a lump in his throat and the way he cleared his voice afterward. She simply grabbed his hand in an attempt to comfort whatever feeling he was going through and gave him a sad smile.</p><p>"It's ok if you don't wanna talk about it" she leaned into his ear and screamed, now that the music was getting louder. </p><p>"It's not like I'm hiding it" he admitted with a sided smile, but Julie knew him just enough to know there was no real joy behind it. "It's not a secret."</p><p>"So what happened?" Julie prompted and mentally slapped herself for the lack of touch the alcohol in her system was providing.</p><p>"Statics" he shrugged, and his expression never changed, but something about the way he looked at the people like he had lost a part of his heart and he was still looking out for it, made Julie's own heart break.</p><p>Suddenly, Luke's irritated tones and displeased expressions for when they talked about the topic made sense; he had lost his soulmate before even getting the chance of meeting them. </p><p>There were things you were warned about as a kid when it came to soulmates. Things like never focusing on the song your soulmate was thinking of for too long unless you wanted a migraine, or basic bits of advice like always carrying pills for the dizziness, because Lord knows hearing someone else's music messed up your brain. However, you were never warned of the inevitability of disgrace, hopelessness at its highest expression, and the feeling of emptiness left after learning you would never have a soulmate because they were dead.</p><p>Julie had never stopped to think about her soulmate's fate, being too caught up in grief and trying to heal with unhealthy coping mechanisms. She had gotten used to the idea of being alone, because she fucked up and she had to own it up, but having to find out your soulmate was <em>gone</em> on the first night of your journey?  </p><p>
  <em>"Mami, what's gonna happen when Papi dies?" she watched her mom's breathy inhale and the way her eyes opened widely but didn't make most of it. She simply remained sitting on the kitchen counter, as her mom made dinner.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, chiqui," she thought of her answer for a couple of minutes, trying to come up with the right words "You know when Carlos grabs the TV remote and presses the wrong button?" Julie nodded energetically, mesmerized by the fond memory of her 3-year-old little brother trying to swap between channels.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The screen gets all weird and there's a, um" and then she did what every 7-year-old would do when they don't know how to describe something, she did her best impression of it. Her mom simply laughed, and Julie wondered what the subtle brightness in her mom's eyes meant. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, statics" Rose pressed the dough she had been working on against the counter and took Julie's little hands to include her in the preparation "when your soulmate goes to heaven, you hear statics," she said, as gentle as you can be when talking about death to a child.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh! So your brain stops working like the TV!" Julie simply exclaimed, her curiosity satisfied for now, and her attention focused on helping her mom with those empanadas she loved so much.</em>
</p><p>Her mom would explain better years later when her time was almost up, but Julie never dwelled on her words, until now.</p><p>"I'm sorry" was all that could make out of Julie's mouth. The volume of the music kept going up, making her snap out of the memory.</p><p>"Don't give me that look" Luke joked, bumping his shoulder lightly against hers "I still have music, and it'll never abandon me" he muttered that last part, maybe in attempts to convince himself it was true, so low Julie couldn't almost catch because of the noise. She knew where he was coming from and was beginning to act likewise. </p><p>"Fuck soulmates" rushed out of her mouth without second thoughts, and she caught Luke opening his eyes widely at her words. He chuckled lightly and she urged him to raise his plastic cup. </p><p>"To the ones we'll never meet, who needs them when you have music?" she exclaimed, clinking their glasses and making the boy next to her laugh wholeheartedly. It made her smile.<br/>
 <br/>
They both drank the remains of their respective drinks, and quickly changed topics to brainstorming for the song they were currently struggling with because no matter how much you tried to convince themselves otherwise, their minds would always revolve around music.</p><p>They found themselves moving to the kitchen, Julie feeling a little brave and wanting to drink something a bit stronger, and Luke simply drinking more water. "I'm the designated driver, Julie. It'd be irresponsible" he'd said.</p><p>"Listen just because we started slowly with Bright doesn't mean-" </p><p>"But it works! It's a good system and a great entrance for you guys" Julie assured with an already slurred speech, facing Luke entirely and putting all her weight on her shoulder in the wall next to her.</p><p>"I still think the first verse should have more energy to catch people's attention" Luke was bouncing on his feet, and Julie wasn't sure if it was because he was excited, or because there was an old Galantis song playing in the background. Huh, she didn't take him for an electronic enthusiast.</p><p>She was just about to argue back saying their magic on stage was enough to enchant people when something interrupted her thoughts.</p><p>"GUYS, A LITTLE HELP" a voice made their heads snap to the direction where the screaming was coming from, and soon found Reggie fighting against the sea of people to get them. Once he was close enough, he urged them to follow him and guided them through the house, as they felt the music changing in the background, to find whatever was unsettling him.</p><p>Except it wasn't unsettling, it was just the last thing they would have ever expected.</p><p>The counter from the bar next to the pool was featuring one of the party's greatest spectacles: all the Dirty Candy members were drunk, dancing provocatively to a song from The Pussycat Dolls Julie had been obsessed with for years, while the guys from the lacrosse team cheered for them. Everything seemed fine, amazing if you will. Just a bunch of girls having fun, right?</p><p><em>Wrong</em>.</p><p>Luke and Julie took a few seconds to find the problem, but once they saw a jacket flying towards their faces, and a blond guy next to Dirty Candy on one end of the counter, they knew things had reached the next level.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading! Let me know if you're liking the story so far.<br/>Songs referenced:<br/>When they enter the party, Streets - Doja Cat<br/>Physical - Dua Lipa<br/>The song Flynn plays for Julie is No Sigue Modas - Don Omar, Juan Magán because look at me in the eye and tell me Julie Molina doesn't know her 2010 reggaeton, I dare you. Am I projecting my latinx music taste on Julie? Maybe, but you're welcome to fight me.<br/>The "heavy bass" song I honestly have no idea of what song I was thinking of, you can suggest any.<br/>Runaway - Galantis *cough* Charlie *cough*<br/>And last but not least Buttons - The Pussycat Dolls<br/>Sorry for cliffhanger?<br/>Bonus: Spanish with your latinx host!<br/>Chiqui comes from chiquita, which translates to little one. Think of ABBA's Chiquitita, it's the same thing.</p><p>Enjoy your week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Is all eyes on me (pt.2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The aftermath of the party<br/>Drunk people are hilarious don't @ me</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Are you guys flipping my pancakes right now? FOUR THOUSAND HITS? HUH? IS THAT EVEN A NUMBER?<br/>I am the luckiest unlucky bastard in the world, honestly. Thank you for giving my story a chance&lt;3<br/>Chapter song: Tongue Tied - Grouplove</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To say Alex was having a good time had to be the understatement of the century. He was killing <em>every single</em> dance move Dirty Candy came up with, ALL while being drunk as a skunk and balancing himself on the small platform. He was fucking proud of himself (not that he would be the next morning).</p><p>He didn't really know how he had ended up there. Carrie had found him alone on the dance floor and before he could protest, he was up there, dancing to a song his parents would probably exorcise him for. Was he aware he was gonna regret it? Absofuckinglutely, but that was a problem for future Alex.</p><p>He had forgotten about Levi, about whoever was playing Justin Bieber in the back of his mind, about his insecurities, and all he could think about was nailing the next move. He didn't take long to spot his friends gazing at him, and his first reaction was to take off his<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E3CgGyPSr4"> jacket</a> to throw it at them. The crowd erupted in cheering, and he giggled, trapped once again in the dance moves.</p><p>The song came to an end, and Cool for the Summer blasted through the speakers as three of the Dirty Candy members descended the small platform, only leaving Kayla, Carrie, and Alex preparing their steps for the current song. Then, the song came to a stop, and he felt someone tugging at his shirt.</p><p>(...)</p><p>Luke knew it was bad as soon as he saw his friend running his hands mindlessly through his body. Sure, at first it was awesome to see Alex so empowered and drunk, and dancing and drunk, but Luke knew him well. Alex would rather eat rat poison than draw unnecessary attention to himself. I mean, yeah, they were in a band, but he knew Alex had effectively created an infallible self-esteem fortress around his drums and he felt good behind it. </p><p>Luke turned to look at her friend, and hopefully find her already plotting something to get their friend down, but was suddenly struck with the realization that their two major brain cells, Julie and Alex, were drunk, out, unavailable. Luke and Reggie were left to take care of them; meaning they had to find a way to take Alex down before more people recorded their friend and made him die from embarrassment; meaning they had to be responsible for once.</p><p>"I'm trying to bring him down but he keeps ignoring me" Reggie managed between giggles, interrupting Luke's train of thought. When did things escalate so fast?</p><p>The song changed to something Luke knew he had heard, but didn't stop to think about it. He noticed some girls getting off the counter, and for a moment thought Alex would follow suit but was <strike>pleasantly</strike> surprised to see the boy starting to dance to the new tune. </p><p>"I have an idea," Julie said, not caring to check if the boys had listened, and the next thing Luke knew, she was up the counter and dancing along.</p><p>She stood right next to Alex, barely balancing herself in the narrow piece of stone, and received some cheering from their public. </p><p>Then, the inexplicable happened, once again. One second he was making sure none of his friends got hurt, and the next, the lights were out, like <em>out</em> out. Gasps from all people around the space were heard, and even some splashing from the pool was heard, meaning some people had fallen. Luke shivered at the thought, he <em>really</em> wanted to make it home dry this time.</p><p>"Juuuulieee" Alex, who was still afraid of the dark in his drunk state, hunched towards her and propelled a hug that unstabilized them off the little platform. Reggie and Luke quickly came forward to place their hands in case someone fell, which was exactly the case.</p><p>Now, don't ask Luke how he and Reg managed to take Julie safely to the floor, because he genuinely didn't know, but suddenly the DJ was next to them grabbing Julie's hands and safely depositing her on the cold floor; whatever drink the seniors were handing was no joke, thank God no one was dead <em>yet</em>. </p><p>Now that 1/2 of their friends were unharmed and out of danger, Luke's eyes were focused on grabbing Alex's waist as Reggie did the same with his upper section, and pulled him up in the air, because the boy refused to touch the ground, and instead acted like he was the main show at the Cirque du Soleil. </p><p>"I'm swimming!" Alex kept squealing while beaming full of happiness until the boys found a way to put him down safely without threatening anyone's existence. He stumbled a little between them, and finally leaned on Reggie's shoulder, almost falling to the ground.</p><p>"I love you so much, dummy" Alex sighed dreamily, like he had just landed in the arms of his prince charming in shining armor, and hugged his brunet friend like he had never done before. Reggie just giggled softly, while patting his head lovingly and trying to hold his body weight.</p><p>"I think it's time to go" Luke panted, trying to catch his breath from the previous stunt they pulled. He delicately extended his hand to Julie, who was quietly sitting on the floor watching the whole scene with her head swaying from side to side. She stood up, and he attempted to guide her to the exit, but she immediately removed the hand he had placed on her back and said something about not being <em>that</em> drunk. He thought she was, but she didn't seem to know.</p><p>Luke was about to thank Flynn for helping them out with Julie, but then the lights came back on and she was nowhere to be found. He wondered if he had imagined the whole thing, as he realized no one had seen them make a fool of themselves, and he saw a chance to escape.</p><p>Alex, well, he could barely walk, which was ironic given that he was dancing like damn Todrick Hall seconds ago. Reggie did his best to keep him straight on their way to Luke's car, but when they got there, both guys were so slouched they could've been touching the ground.</p><p>Alex was placed in the back with Julie, and they both fell asleep on each other, not before mumbling about their tainted drinks and his "spicy" dance moves. Damn, Luke really wished Alex wouldn't freak out the next day.</p><p>Luke's initial plan had been to drop off everyone at their houses, but he knew for sure that the Mercers and Mr. Molina would freak out at their children's current state. After confirming with Reggie that both of his parents were out of town, Luke headed to the Peters' residence and texted his parents he'd be home tomorrow before throwing his phone in his pocket, not very eager to check their answer.</p><p>After parking outside the one-story house, the most difficult task of the night came for both sober boys: taking their drunk friends out of the car, into the house, and hopefully, into Reggie's bed, which was big enough for both of their inebriated friends.</p><p>Alex, who seemed to be the drunkest of them both, didn't even flinch when the guys dragged him out of the car like a corpse. Reggie would have to a lot to explain if any of his neighbors decided to peak through their blinds. He then reminded himself it was 2 am, and that they were probably the only poor souls awake in the neighborhood.</p><p>Julie, however, who had been drifting in and out of her sleeping state for several minutes now, kept throwing punches and kicks into the air, which took the boys about 3 times longer than Alex to get her inside the house. However, once they entered Reggie's room, where they had safely placed their blond friend around 20 minutes ago, they realized the boy was not in the room, and all their alarms went off.</p><p>Almost dropping Julie in the process, they detangled her limbs from their bodies and left her in bed, where she curled up to finally sleep and both Luke and Reggie went throughout the house to find their missing friend. </p><p>A crashing sound in the kitchen caught their attention, making them sprint through the hallway and making the most dramatic entrance in cinematic history, but they were not in a movie; not even people in movies did shit as stupid as whatever Alex was doing right now.</p><p>"Bro, what the f..." Luke's voice trailed off, as he saw Alex laying down on the floor, surrounded by all the snacks that, he could only guess, were once on Reggie's cupboard. The blond guy on the floor hiccuped twice before grabbing a bunch of bags of Doritos and holding them against his chest, looking at aluminum bags more fondly and affectionately than he ever did with Levi or any of them.</p><p>"Alex, why are you on my kitchen floor?" Reggie crouched next to him and tried asking with the same tone he'd ask a kid who got lost at a park.</p><p>"I couldn't reach the door so I tr" hiccup "tr-tried climbing the counter and th" hiccup "the basket fell on my head when I" hiccup "gr-grabbed it" he finished, with a subtle grin tattooed on his face, probably thinking he was the smartest son of a bitch on the planet.</p><p>"Alex" Luke called firmly, trying to get his attention. Alex simply shut his eyes and hummed soundly to the melody of Justin Bieber's Boyfriend, like it was the epitome of modern music industry. Reggie laughed nervously, not knowing how else to respond to the situation.</p><p>"Alex, you're taller than Reggie's cupboard" which wasn't entirely true, Luke thought, but he could have easily reached any snack he wanted by just extending his arm horizontally. Reggie finally lost it, laughing with his whole belly. </p><p>God, is this how Alex felt whenever Luke and Reggie did something stupid? And they didn't even need to be drunk, that was their natural state!</p><p>By the time Reggie was done wiping away his tears and getting back to being functional, Alex seemed to be 100% asleep. For real, this time. They carefully grabbed all the snacks and placed them back in their rightful spot, only to come back and wonder how they were gonna take Alex back to Reggie's room. </p><p>(...)</p><p>The distant sound of clattering plates and laughter slowly brought her back to life, along with a terrible dizziness feeling once she tried raising her head from her pillow- </p><p>Wait.</p><p>
  <em>Wait.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was not her pillow.</em>
</p><p>Whatever hungover effect she was going through immediately snapped away once she realized she wasn't in her room or her house. She couldn't find her phone or the purse she had taken with her the night before, and she was ready to start spiraling when she noticed a small frame on the wall facing the bed.</p><p>Her shoulders tensed down and she let out a silent giggle, as she grabbed the picture of small Reggie standing on his bed, in what she assumed was his old house, while holding a light-saber along with the handwritten quote "May the Force be with you". She let the small frame down and looked around the room calmly for the first time. </p><p>There were geek objects throughout the room, and posters from bands whose names she couldn't read because her eyes were so dry she could barely focus, and then she realized she had slept in with her lenses. <em>Fuck.</em></p><p>Thankfully, there was a small bathroom inside the room and she stood in front of the mirror, trying to concentrate on taking off her lenses without hurting her eyes. Shit, being hungover was worst than she thought; as she progressively became more blind, the pounding sensation in her head intensified, making her grab the sink and take a couple of deep breaths before leaving the room and following the sound that woke her up in the first place.</p><p>She walked down the hallway with caution, in case there was an object she couldn't identify and attempted to appreciate the pictures hanging from the walls, but the faces were now blurry and unrecognizable, so she just kept walking to find a curious scene before her eyes.</p><p>A comfy scotch plaid pajama set frantically moved around the kitchen with what seemed a spatula in hand, and two of the boys were sitting patiently at the table in a corner of the room, a hand rubbing someone's back and a hot mug in front of a slouched figure. </p><p>"Julie!" the greenish pajama silhouette turned on his feet to reveal a very excited Reggie, with a plate full of pancakes and a grin brighter than the sun. Both Julie and Alex hissed on their spots and grabbed their forehead as they regretted every single one of their life decisions.</p><p>"Reg, quiet" Luke warned, leaning on Alex's ear and quietly asking if he was okay. The whole picture made Julie's heart warm.</p><p>"Morning, guys" she surprised herself at her raspy voice and her sudden need to cough it out. "Is it okay to feel my brain melting through my ears?" The boys caught up on her reaction and laughed sheepishly. She sat down next to her hangover partner, and he gave her a small reassuring pat on the shoulder.</p><p>"If it makes you feel better, I don't think there's anything in here" Alex muttered, with his voice 10 times worse than Julie's and with his eyes closed. He pointed at his head, probably referencing his poor decision-making from the night before. Even though he sounded terrible, Julie was evidently surprised at how put together he looked; for the amount of drinks he seemed to have had, she would've been dead on Reggie's bed.</p><p>"Well, I hope you guys are hungry" Reggie sang with a huge smile on his face. The boy loved cooking for his friends, even if it was his simple chocolate chip pancakes recipe.</p><p>Alex grimaced at the smell and pushed away the plate Reggie had placed in front of him, but Julie and Luke knew better, and immediately dived into eating the heavenly fluffy dish. Reggie watched his friends eating his food with pride written all over his face, as he ate from his own plate.</p><p>When Julie was halfway through her stack, she dropped the fork in her hand, and gasped loudly, completely inadvertent of the concern in the boys' faces.</p><p>"My dad's gonna kill me" she reminded herself one more time she had no clue where her phone was and stood up hastily to look it up around the unknown living room. Although, now that she thought about it, she didn't even remember being in the living-</p><p>"Oh, Ray? I already texted him" Reggie commented without taking his eyes away from his pancakes. He kept chewing his food and humming nonchalantly. Julie stopped on her tracks, gaping at him.</p><p>"<em>Ray</em>? You're on first-name basis with my dad?" And Reggie was about to respond, but Julie raised her hand to stop him, she wanted to ask something else "How did you even get his number?"</p><p>"I texted Flynn" again, he just blurted out the words mindlessly, making it look like the most normal thing in the world. She tried to not think much about the fact that she had helped the guy, even when she had no reason to do so.</p><p>"And what did he say?" She sat down in front of her plate, processing the information. She figured it'd be better to clear out the whole Flynn deal when her mind was more clear.</p><p>"Well, he thinks you spent the night at Carrie's and that your phone is 'broken'" he quoted that last part, earning a couple of giggles from Alex and Luke. Reggie was the best at covering up for his friends. </p><p>"If you want, we can take you home after breakfast" Luke managed with his mouth full and grinned at her comfortingly.</p><p>"Wow, thanks guys" the boys beamed at her brightly, Reggie with blushed cheeks and a warm look, and for the first time since she sat down, she realized how pleasant and warm her chest felt. </p><p>"By the way, when I entered my room this morning you were both talking in your sleep" Reggie snickered, almost choking on his glass of milk. "Like, you were both maintaining a conversation and you were so not conscious" </p><p>"I don't talk in my sleep-" both Alex and Julie started, only to laugh at each other for coinciding with their answer. Julie had always slept alone, and she seriously had no idea of what kind of weird shit she did in her sleep. Though, she did remember one time she had woken up in her bathtub.</p><p>"What were we saying?" Julie tried instead, getting ahold of her insistent giggling.</p><p>"Honestly? No idea, but it was very creepy because both of you were suuuper asleep" Luke offered, given that Reggie was now focused on answering a text message. "you guys kept mumbling about Harry Styles, paper planes, and the Grammys. I think I'll never forget it" he shivered, taking the last bite of his food.</p><p>Alex and Julie eyed each other for a few seconds, before saying '1989' in unison, and exploding once again in laughter, or at least they tried without making their headaches worse.</p><p>The coziness of her home was something she had always carried very close to her heart, knowing it was a gift not many people had. Spending time with her dad, Carlos and Tía was a blessing she would be forever grateful for, but right now, with her band, <em>her boys</em>, she couldn't help but feel the same safety.</p><p>Being comfortable around her own family had been such a hard process after her mom's death, and the easiness in which she had adjusted to the boys' lives haunted her. All the burdens of the world seemed to disappear, and all that was left was the sweet comforting sound of their laughter as they made fun of each other and remembered the events of the previous night. There was no place for worrying about parents, the future, or broken friendships.</p><p>Moments like these made her think maybe it was all meant to happen this way. Maybe she had to lose herself in order to find people who really mattered; maybe she needed to lose everything so she could learn to appreciate everything again, to never take anything for granted.</p><p>She made sure to hold on tightly to the moment, taking in the boys' laughter and their glowy eyes. She didn't know how long it'd last, but she hoped forever wasn't too much to ask.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks again for making it this far! Let me know downstairs if you like how the story-line is going C;</p><p>Songs referenced!<br/>Buttons - The Pussycat Dolls from last chapter, and dude I have always loved that choreography, so when I thought of incorporating it into the story, I knew I had to include the clothes removing part. Just picture Dirty Candy and Alex doing that, what a bunch of queens. ALso, for legal matters, Carrie takes nothing off because homegirl is only wearing a dress. This ain't a frat party. And for safety reasons, they don't walk that much because it really is a narrow counter, like, do not try this at home, no matter how badass you feel.</p><p>Cool for the Summer - Demi Lovato, because why the hell not.</p><p>Boyfriend - Justin Bieber for not particular reason at all *leaves suspiciously*.</p><p>Kind of referenced Taylor Swift's 1989? Alex is such a 1989 fan, you can't convince me otherwise.</p><p>Also, Reggie's picture? Him standing up in his bed while holding a lightsaber and the quote next to it? My brother has one just like that, with Star Wars posters in the background, and when I found out Reggie was a Star Wars fan, I couldn't help it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Leave you on a sad tone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Soooo, Julie's going to finally address the elephant in the room.<br/>Let's see how that goes.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter song: Breathe - Taylor Swift, I feel like this song portrays the kind of hopelessness Julie feels after the big fallout, and before talking about it with the guys.<br/>Btw, we only know Taylor's Version in this household!! Our girl owns 4/9 albums now and I am so proud.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Julie wasn't avoiding Flynn, ok? She was a strong, independent, bold, fearless woman. She knew she had to fix things, but she was taking her time. Or at least that's what she kept telling herself.</p><p>She had only stalked her on Instagram, checked every single one of her mixes on SoundCloud, and even made sure to check the girl's old Tumblr website. Just to see what she was up to nowadays, right?</p><p>She hadn't tried following her around school and see who the girl was hanging out with, even though their schedules were completely different because Julie was not in the music program. </p><p>She definitely didn't check where the girl's new locker was and didn't almost memorize her path to class on Fridays.</p><p>She definitely hadn't rewritten the same message at least 15 times thinking of 67 different ways to say 'hi' or 'I'm sorry for not reaching out in 20 months'. Not at all.</p><p>She had not blanked out that Tuesday when she saw Flynn walking towards her and decided to hide inside the second-floor bathroom for nearly 20 minutes, only to come out and realize it had been the boys' bathroom all along.</p><p>Ok, <em>maybe</em> she was avoiding Flynn. Yeah ok, she was 100% absolutely terrified of the thought of any sort of interaction with said person. The last time she had spoken to the girl, it had ended up in tears and Julie was scared of ending up in the same situation, both of them saying things they didn't mean (or maybe just Julie).</p><p>She was very much comfortable with the idea of avoiding Flynn for the rest of her life until a particular comment on the band's Instagram left her petrified.</p><p>
  <strong>@bigtrouble04</strong><br/>
<em>I don't know about y'all but the new lead singer is *chef's kiss*</em>
</p><p>It could've been a random comment from a random person, right? Anyone with a 4 fingers forehead could see that Julie was a very talented singer, but Julie remembered well the afternoon Carrie, Flynn, and her created fake Instagram profiles to stalk their crushes, and <strong><em>that</em></strong> account was Flynn's. </p><p>Just like it happened at the party, it almost felt like Flynn was leaving crumbs around, and Julie was supposed to know what to do with them. </p><p>Off the record, Julie had no idea what to do with them. </p><p>"Why don't you invite her to our karaoke night?" Reggie suggested casually during lunchtime, a few days after the party, now knowing the whole story as Julie had promised. </p><p>Since Julie had put almost zero effort into updating herself on 2 years worth of music industry, the boys had taken the task upon themselves and invited Julie over to Reggie's, sober, for once. The purpose? Simply help Julie catch up, and they were all beyond excited.</p><p>"Ok but we also have to invite Carrie" Alex added, with a mouthful of whatever disgusting thing they were serving at the cafeteria for lunch that day. Ever since the party, he had grown rather close to the girl, especially after she forced every senior in Los Feliz to erase all of Alex's videos, and by inviting him to a couple of Dirty Candy dance sessions. "Wouldn't she be offended if you don't invite her or something?"</p><p>As a matter of fact, Julie did ask her later that day, but Carrie declined the offer, claiming Dirty Candy and their manager had to discuss some new strategies for their upcoming EP. Later, she'd confess to Julie she had gone through enough with their reconciliation and didn't want to experience another one, even if wasn't her own. </p><p>"I guess I could ask her" Julie shrugged and shrunk in her seat, the situation already feeling bigger than it was. Her tía's food was beyond amazing, but her appetite had gone missing, and it had been replaced with eagerness. </p><p>What if she messed up?</p><p>"Guys" Luke shook his hand in front of her eyes, a pinch of concern in his eyes "she's spiraling again"</p><p>"I mean what if I say the wrong thing and we just blow up on each other like last time and she's bold with words tho I'm a bit badass but I learned from her, ok? What if she doesn't want to b-" the words just flowed out of her mouth like a waterfall, and the guys just watched her lose her shit for a couple of seconds.</p><p>"Julie, stop" Luke was now sitting next to her, grabbing his shoulders in an attempt to ground her and stop her inner monologue "Flynn is your best friend, right?" </p><p>"Was" she responded looking down, her voice sounding strangled and her eyes losing their usual sparkle.</p><p>"Hey, I bet she wouldn't say anything to hurt you, and neither would you" and Julie knew she had to believe him because he was right. Their intention never was to end up like this, let alone spend the rest of their lives ignoring each other, but she didn't know what to expect. "You guys were in a bad moment and shit happened, but it'll go well this time"</p><p>Luke realized she wasn't going to say anything else, considering the pensive look on her, and allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder, while he smoothly changed topics to the karaoke playlist, knowing she wouldn't understand or listen to anything they were saying. And he was right, Julie didn't hear a single word of the conversation and simply stood up after hearing the bell announcing their 7th period.</p><p><br/>
Back in 2019 when Rose got diagnosed and Julie's life started falling apart, Flynn was the person she trusted the most. Reggie was an amazing friend but she knew he had his issues, Nick had just moved out of town, and her friendship with Carrie was on the tightrope. </p><p>Flynn held her pieces together when the days were black and Carlos cried himself to sleep in their arms, when her dad's white lies about her mom's health started, when they found tía Victoria crying in the kitchen to the sound of old songs in Spanish. Life became a little too much for the Molina family, and Flynn was there for them.</p><p>Until she wasn't.</p><p>Julie paced around the room impatiently, hair in a bun and wearing all black to encompass her mood. Three months, it had been three months since her mother's death and Dr. Turner was forcing her to go to school, claiming it'd be "good for her". </p><p>The obnoxiously loud banging on the door made her stop on her tracks, and she quickly approached the door to find Flynn waiting on the other side. Her smile was blinding, and Julie's heart ached because she couldn't find the strength to smile back.</p><p>"Girl, did you sleep in or something?" she grabbed her friend's hand, and prompted her outside of the room, but Julie let go, a heavyweight growing on her chest once she detailed the concerned look on Flynn's eyes. "We'll be late if we don't go now"</p><p>"I can't do it" she admitted, her voice choked up and tears menacing to emerge. </p><p>"Jules, it'll be just fine" Flynn's arms surrounded her in a tight hug. Julie stilled, dreading any sort of human contact. She wanted to scream. "I'll be with you the whole time"</p><p>"You won't" she blurted out before she could think about it, making Flynn pull back and look at her straight in the eye.</p><p>"Jules, what do you mean?" Flynn knew where the conversation was going, but she hoped for the best. She had faith in Julie.</p><p>"I spoke to Mrs. Harrison" she whispered, watching Flynn's eyes widening with every word. She took a deep breath, "I won't be joining the music program"</p><p>Flynn let out a humorless laugh, probably expecting to be told it was a joke. Julie just looked at the ground, embarrassed at her cowardliness.</p><p>"You mean, this semester?" A nervous smile positioned itself on her face, as she grabbed Julie's hands and forced her to make eye contact.</p><p>"You know what I mean, not next semester or ever" the sudden change in her tone made both girls flinch. Julie sounded desperate, almost out of breath, like the suffocation coming from the inside of her chest was eating her alive. </p><p>"You can't do this, Jules, you're going to regret it" Flynn stated, knowing best than anyone it was true. "Your mom wouldn't want you to give up"</p><p>"She didn't wanna die, Flynn! And yet she did!" And she snapped because no one had mentioned her mom so carelessly since she passed. After all, she couldn't pretend she wasn't raging anymore. </p><p>"I'm sick of pretending everything's fine, ok?! I'm sick of people saying I'll get over it because I won't!" She was screaming with all the strength she had saved in the last couple of weeks, hoping it would make the pain go away, but it just made it worse. Her dad was listening to everything downstairs, but she couldn't bring herself to think about it.</p><p>"I can't do this without her" she finally broke down, letting her knees fall to the ground and cradling her face with her hands. Flynn kneeled next to her and placed her head on hers, dropping a couple of tears on her friend's face, but Julie was numb, she couldn't feel them. The pain slowly consumed her, and everything around her seemed to be gone in seconds.</p><p>"You have me, ok? I'll always be here with you" she grabbed Julie's hands, only to reveal her flushed cheeks and the tears rolling down her face. </p><p>But that's not enough, Julie thought. She was still gonna miss the sound of her mom's humming in the mornings, the smell of her songwriting book pages flipping to the cold autumn breeze, the sweet sound of her cheering when Julie reached a note they didn't know she could. She felt <em>empty</em>.  </p><p>Flynn stilled next to her, dropping Julie's hands with disgust, and stood up to go downstairs without giving any sort of explanation. Julie mimicked her movements and followed her downstairs, where she found her facing the door and grabbing her schoolbag with white knuckles and a fire in her eyes she had only seen on her friend during Debate club.</p><p>"<em>I'm not enough</em>?" The pain inflicted in Flynn's voice would've been able to punch anyone in the face. Julie's hand flew to her mouth, once she realized she had forgotten to filter her thoughts. </p><p>"Flynn, that's not what I meant-" </p><p>"I've been giving you my unconditional support for <em>years</em>, and that's not enough for you?" they were both sobbing now, as Julie tried getting closer to her friend. She was grateful for everything Flynn had done, and she wanted to tell her-</p><p>"I didn't ask you too." Came out instead, and Julie mentally beat herself up for the hurtful tone she was using. Flynn's eyes widened one more time, taken aback by her friend's answer. </p><p>"But I did, because you're my best friend and I love you" she placed her hand over her heart, tears still streaming down of her face wildly. </p><p>"I'm <em>broken</em>, Flynn" all the crying and the screaming were already catching up on Julie, causing a massive headache she knew it'll last for days, but she knew the pain in her chest was bigger. </p><p>"We'll do this together, Julie" Flynn worked her way to Julie, finding each other in the middle, and she grabbed Julie's hands one more time as if Flynn was keeping her from flying away. "You have your dad, Carlos, me, we all love you" she closed the distance between them and put their foreheads together, attempting to soothe the weeping mess in front of her.</p><p>"I don't have any love left to give" Julie closed her eyes, not being able to maintain the penetrating gaze of her friend. </p><p>"We'll make up for the love, honey" Flynn's breathing had become irregular, and she squeezed her hands, reassuringly. But no reassurance in the world could stop Julie from doing what she was about to do next.</p><p>"But it's not enough to ease the pain" Julie didn't stop to think this time and allowed her autopilot to take over. The last thing she wanted to do was drag anyone down, and she simply couldn't ask Flynn to jump down the precipice with her. Her heart was a shattered piece of glass, and she wasn't going to allow anyone to be wounded by it.</p><p>"I don't have time to deal with you" Julie pushed farther, her voice so low she could've sworn the words never left her lips. Maybe it was the way Flynn's breath got caught in her chest, or how abruptly she stepped back from their small bubble, but Julie knew she had messed up for real this time.</p><p>They had discussed solitude endlessly the nights after Carrie had ditched them, where the stars couldn't get enough from their ranting while holding hands and trying to find answers in each other's eyes. They had both promised to never leave because no matter how bad things got, they would always have each other. </p><p>Yet Julie had chosen to go someplace where she wished to not be followed. It had been easy to stop answering Reggie's memes, and Nick's "how are you feeling today" type of questions every week, but she knew Flynn wouldn't leave without giving a fight. Flynn was the best thing she had, but she was willing to give it up for her sake.</p><p>Flynn would only leave if she felt like Julie didn't need her anymore, even if it was all lies. Maybe she didn't mean to say it, or maybe she knew exactly what to say. Making Flynn think she was disregarding years of friendship would most definitely cause her departure. And sadly, Julie was right.</p><p> Julie just stood there, contemplating and going through the scene over and over inside her head, as she watched her best friend walk away and close the front door. "I hope you're happy, isn't this what you wanted?" her subconscious teased.</p><p>Her dad managed to go throughout the day without mentioning the incident and somehow convinced her to go to school that day. She had new teachers, new classes, and new classmates, the perfect recipe to forget she ever had a life before the music program. </p><p>She did fine the first couple of weeks and attempted to pretend the last 15 years of her life hadn't happened, but it wasn't until Carrie stepped back into her life that she noticed the isolation state she had placed herself in, in many ways, was slowly killing her. </p><p>Now in 2021, she knew Flynn was right about everything she said. The words from their fight were blurry now, but they stung somewhere inside her heart. However, she had to seize the opportunity Flynn had granted her- or at least she hoped those were Flynn's wishes- and attempt to bring her back into her life.</p><p>So yeah, Julie was absolutely terrified to approach her old friend and had definitely been avoiding her for a solid week, but she said it herself, <em>she wanted everything back</em>, and she was done hiding behind her fears. </p><p>They were only one text away, right?</p><p>
  <strong>Jules🦋:</strong><br/>
<em>Hey, disappointment. </em><br/>
<em>Long time no see</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My my, if you've made it this far I am so grateful! Let me know in the comments if you're liking the story so far!</p><p>No songs referenced in this chapter.</p><p>And, cliffhanger?<br/>What do you think Flynn has to say??</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. not a chapter (i'll erase this soon)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey, everyone! Have you been missing me uwu okya</p><p>Sadly, this is not an update. I know I've been very punctual with my updates ever since I started, but I'm gonna have to pause the story for, at least, a week or two.</p><p>I haven't been very vocal about my nationality but heyo, I'm an almost 19 year old Colombian who writes JATP fanfic, nice to meet you.</p><p>Colombia is not okay right now.</p><p>People are protesting on the streets, because we have an abusive government that keeps raising taxes in the middle of a pandemic EVEN THOUGH more than 50% of the population lives in poverty. College students are being murdered by the police force, we're seen as criminals because we refuse to give in, but we're so sick of sitting still and doing nothing. I cannot keep posting about my daydreams when my day by day is a nightmare.</p><p>With my heart on my hand, I come here and ask for help. Twitter, Instagram and Facebook are silencing our posts, our cry for help; all hashtags related to the issue are being banned or simply taken down. People who protest are literally having to record police abuse through Instagram lives; celebrities and artists join and try to give it as much visibility as possible, because our own Colombian media is ignoring us. They're turning their back on their people.</p><p>I'll link posts with information and please, I'm begging you, give me 10 minutes of your time, and if you're interested enough, share them on your social media. Let the world know Colombia is on fire, and we're burning with it.</p><p>
  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/COb-MsDBgKQ/?igshid=z9fozmpzhwyg">https://www.instagram.com/p/COb-MsDBgKQ/?igshid=z9fozmpzhwyg</a>
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  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/COdbQGNhqfZ/?igshid=12dzox74hv67">https://www.instagram.com/p/COdbQGNhqfZ/?igshid=12dzox74hv67</a>
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  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/COSp-Mypg4O/?igshid=1g5lpjmm2o4q">https://www.instagram.com/p/COSp-Mypg4O/?igshid=1g5lpjmm2o4q</a>
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  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/COag-_HJH8j/?igshid=apu5oobxw6d8">https://www.instagram.com/p/COag-_HJH8j/?igshid=apu5oobxw6d8</a>
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  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/COcptmtAUlt/?igshid=1ber7quml1wl4">https://www.instagram.com/p/COcptmtAUlt/?igshid=1ber7quml1wl4</a>
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  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CObBfP3DW6b/?igshid=1c64niv13hc6q">https://www.instagram.com/p/CObBfP3DW6b/?igshid=1c64niv13hc6q</a>
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  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/COc-kuBATXg/?igshid=19c3kamf7hgqm">https://www.instagram.com/p/COc-kuBATXg/?igshid=19c3kamf7hgqm</a>
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  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/COdPnDHtuV1/?igshid=4hr3sblqc9bu">https://www.instagram.com/p/COdPnDHtuV1/?igshid=4hr3sblqc9bu</a>
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  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/COOoUwahvFw/?igshid=1pcszjfq5b5tm">https://www.instagram.com/p/COOoUwahvFw/?igshid=1pcszjfq5b5tm</a>
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  <a href="https://mobile.twitter.com/behindthemall13/status/1389635158999973889?s=19">https://mobile.twitter.com/behindthemall13/status/1389635158999973889?s=19</a>
</p><p>I'll probably create another entrance in my profile with more links once I return to the story, but for now, I'll leave it here.</p><p>Thank you so much for your time and your understanding. - M.</p>
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